Not a Piece of Cake 2
by MoonStone2115
Summary: From dealing with two notebooks to dealing with six of them, Allison and L might need the help from some familiar people to be sure that Kira is dealt with once and for all. (sequel to Not a Piece of Cake and loosely based on Death Note: Light Up the New World)
1. Prologue

**XxX**

* * *

 **Well. This wasn't exactly what I'd planned, but here we are. Ever since the idea of a spin-off came into my mind, all the ideas for extra chapters just sort of started to connect and I just really wanted to write this bigger arc and using the ideas for the extra chapters in this story just seemed to fit pretty well. And I could just give it a different title, but it being with all the same characters and still having to do with Death Notes? I think just the title with a "2" plastered after it is fine for now. Maybe I'll think of something in the future, maybe I don't. We'll see.**

 **So, a sequel! I am not used to writing those, so let's see how this plays out. First, some announcements;**

 **1\. It will by far not be as long as "Not a Piece of Cake". I think it will have a maximum of fifty chapters. Then again, I might me wrong, as I often am.**

 **2\. Updates will not really follow a schedule. That is, I will still try to update every weekend, but since that did not work out quite as well as I wanted to with the first one, I think it's nice to tell you guys now that my schedule will be a mess. Also, this chapter is here now, but I will be in South Korea for three weeks, and I don't have my laptop there, so no updates then. This is more like the announcement, like "it's coming, guys". Since it's only a prologue. So… yeah.**

 **3\. The main plot line for this story is kind of based on Death Note: Light up the New World. It's a movie that was released in 2016 (?) I think and despite my MANY problems with it, there were also things I liked and I thought it would be fun to put the actual L in this story instead of that weird fake L-guy and Allison is just a delight to imagine in these kind of situations, so there you go.**

 **4\. Any further questions? Any problems? Just review or PM me, I am usually quite good at answering those (though I sometimes take forever to reply).**

 **5\. Yup, still don't own Death Note or anything related to it, so let's go!**

 **XxX**

* * *

 **Prologue**

' _Code 3, I repeat, Code 3. Multiple casualties in Shibuya streets. The Special Task Force has been sent to the scene_.'

' _This is K141, 143 and 145. En route to the crime scene_.'

Dark cars race through the night with a hurry that did not have anything to do with the cars. The whole city seemed to be moving in a hurry, chasing something, running from something. As if every second could be the last.

Some people said Kira brought "justice" and "peace". But this, this was what Kira was. Chaos and arrogance. Because why are you running, why are you fleeing? And why are you killing people? Do you honestly believe you are above consequences?

In one of those cars so in a hurry to get to the chaos, and not away from it, were five agents sitting. Listening. Waiting. Arguing.

'Casualties line the street,' the driver said.

'It's a rampage killing,' the other added. Annoyed. Instead of fear or anger, they were annoyed. And, also, maybe, just a little bit, tired. Tired of everything. Tired of losing. Tired of chasing something that seemed to be endless.

Finally, finally, a few of those cars reach the busy street. They don't even park the car; they just go. _Run. Flee. Stay. Help. Rescue. Stop._

They push through the crowd of people as they tried to reach the other agents. There. An opening. They push and push and finally, they see what they came to see.

Death.

Their earpieces are ringing with words, information, pieces. ' _They are totally random_. _The death toll's climbing_.'

Another voice takes over, a familiar one. I smile despite the situation. ' _It's the Shinigami eyes. Hide your face._ '

Then: ' _A suspect was seen on the surveillance camera. 160 cm, female, hoodie. Go._ '

This was not a message for the Task Force as much as it was for me. I jumped off my hiding spot, the target already in place. Something slides through the shadows of the nights, leading me, guiding me.

' _Tailing a female wearing a hood in Zone 4,_ ' someone proclaims.

' _At the exit,_ ' another cop says.

' _I am also chasing a female with a hoodie,_ ' another one adds. ' _In pursuit._ '

Chaos. Total chaos. I consider taking the earpiece out. But then, I didn't particularly fancy my boss yelling at me.

' _Death count stands at 16. Be cautious._ ' Another message that seemed to be directed to only me. Though I knew it was not. This message had to be for the Task Force. Since I was in no danger whatsoever.

' _East exit, I lost track of the suspect,_ ' one of the cops says.

As I climb down the ladder, still following the creature guiding me, I roll my eyes. I knew why they were here, I knew why, but since I was likely to be the first one to succeed, it did seem odd to put all of them into danger.

Not like we did that on purpose or anything. Much like some people I used to know, cops could be terrifically oblivious sometimes.

 _There._ The first glimpse I catch once I was down. Sitting on top of a café watching the streets way seem like a great way to observe, but it was different now that I was actually in pursuit. I saw her, the leggings, the hoodie. She reminded me of Misa, somehow, though I doubt Misa would ever even go near a hoodie.

' _Seventeen casualties_ ,' the familiar voice says, but the victim must already be past me. I am so close, I could grasp her if I could run through these streets. But risking mass hysteria really wasn't worth it. That and… my ally was being quite vague and I did not want to risk shooting the wrong person.

' _Another victim in Sakashita.'_

 _'_ _I am on my way,'_ another shot back.

There, right in front of me, a guy falls to the ground. I frown. She is going too fast. _No way that was 40 seconds._

'No,' I mouthed it before I speak. Luckily, there is only one person who can hear me. 'There is more than one!'

Another one falls on top of the previous victim. 'More than one!' I repeat and then I realise that I lost track of her. And of my ally.

And then mass hysteria kicks in. I am running before the others, but it still isn't any good. As soon as people start to shout "murder" and "Kira", people are running. Anywhere. Everywhere. Trying to flee their faith.

' _Suspect spotted, she has a Note,_ ' another cop says, one that was also more familiar to me than I would've liked.

As I am chasing, I am wondering if my boss is going to inform the Task Force about what just realised. He does not.

'There you are!' the shadow figure above me calls. She found me before I could find her. 'She is quite good at taking hard to follow routes, but she is at the crossway now, let's go!' she is already going before I could fully understand what she'd just said. And then I am running again.

It's way worse here. This is what I call mass hysteria. People shouting "terrorist" and dead bodies everywhere. Victims who maybe were not innocent, but no one deserved a sentence like this. And no one deserved to give them their sentence. They were not – not ever – above consequences.

It's easy to spot her now because she is the only one not running. I see her, but I can't get a clear shot. I am jumping over corpses without looking, I am pushing people that I could have avoided if they weren't so panicky. But this was death we were talking about and nothing seemed to be scarier than that.

' _Evacuate now!_ ' someone shouts before I can even think about doing that. I then realise that I did not only hear that in my earpiece, but in real time as well. Then I see him, only a few feet away. Sunglasses, scarf. Mishima.

And I see him raising a gun. Too bad. He is at the other end of the street. And I? I am already close enough.

I stop running. People are flooding away and if I can get _one_ clear shot, it's over. I raise the gun, see the girl. I don't even care where I aim, as long as I just hit her. I see her staring at me right before I shoot. She sees, but does not comprehend. She does not comprehend why she is seeing nothing. No name. No numbers. Nothing. To her, I am nothing.

I hit her so close to her heart that the person who taught me how to should would be proud. But she falls to the ground before the tranquilizer I shot her with could've taken effect.

 _There's more than one_.

I am running again, just as Mishima and the others are finally getting there, too. I lean down and press my hand against her neck. No heartbeat. 'Dead,' I said into the microphone, knowing that that would be enough. With my gloved hands I take the note that she had hidden in her jacket.

I look at it, but it looks no different. And then, I feel the presence of an annoying know-it-all standing over me.

I sigh. 'My, my, Mishima,' I say, using English only because I knew I could. Because I knew he would understand. 'Raising your gun? I thought the Task Force wasn't authorised to shoot.'

He looks down at me angrily. As if he is angry at me for doing the thing he so badly wanted to do. But only one of us is actually allowed to and he knows it. Still, he raises his voice and says: 'Why did you shoot her, Miss Upson?!'

I roll my eyes and sit up, putting the tranquilizer gun back in my back. 'To stop the casualties, of course.' Then I stand. 'I am no part of the Task Force, what I do or do not do has very little to do with you, don't you think?'

He does not look happy with that. 'Well… But you aren't above the law! We're not authorized to kill!'

'It was a tranquilizer dart!' I respond. 'Do you even—' I sighed and moved away from the suspect. 'There, see for yourself what killed her. Sorry, I did not realise police were this freaking unobservant.'

As Mishima and the others crowd the one corpse that seemed to matter to them, I move away from the death and the destruction. Away, back in the shadows. I walk towards the place where my dark car is waiting. And in a city where everyone is in a hurry, the familiar face who smiles at me is calm, reassuring. 'You did a great job, Olivia,' Watari tells me as he opens the door for me.

'Thanks,' I say with a sigh, looking at the night sky. It looks so peaceful, so normal. As if nothing had changed at all. The sky really should start paying attention. 'This is only the beginning, isn't it?' I ask with another sigh.

Ico appears in the backseat, looking more worried than I had ever seen a Shinigami look. She liked this about as much as I did.

'I am afraid it is not, Olivia,' Watari responds, sounding sad again. He wants all of this to be over, too. He hates this as much as everyone does. 'I am afraid not.'

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Well, this was short! It was meant to be. I just thought how great it would be if in that scene in the movie, the actual L had shone up instead of that other guy I don't really agree with. And then I imagined Allison in that scene instead of L and then I had to write it. And I thought it would be a great introduction to the story.**

 **Again, this is only the prologue and I am not sure if I will update again before going to South-Korea, but I wouldn't count on it. I think it's best to just not count on anything and then if I do update, it will be a pleasant surprise. xD**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you guys will stick with me for this new adventure. Until next chapter!**

* * *

 **XxX**


	2. Butterfly

**Hey there! I was gone longer than I wanted to be gone, but well, here I am. I sort of forgot I had an introduction camp literally right after my trip to South Korea, so that went well… Well, I actually managed to be there for two days and then I said 'well, my jetlag is officially ruining everything for me, so forget about the bonding and being social with my new classmates, I am going home'. Which may or may not have been a bad decision, but we'll see. ALSO, no, I will not address the Death Note Netflix live action. It exists and that's all I will say on the matter (also I hated it) (wait, forget I said that) (CONTROVERSY! Yay. Fun.) Shit, I am rambling again, aren't I? Let's not do that today. Let's start this chapter!**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **1\. Butterfly**

There came a strange awareness with seeing things others could not. I walked across the busy streets, looking, staring, but not actually seeing. The red was invading my vision, the numbers and letters blurring everything in sight.

I stopped in the middle of my step, focusing, closing my eyes. Blinking rapidly until the redness disappeared and I could see again.

It were moments like these that I understood why Beyond Birthday had been driven mad. Seeing the world through red and numbers and letters, it was not only terrible, but achingly so. I did not understand how anyone managed it. Especially Misa. Though I must admit she had a pretty strong character.

Not that it mattered much. I found myself fairly weak, yet I had been fighting it for weeks now. Ico tried to help, but she was so used to seeing everything that she couldn't really understand my problems with slipping into my Shinigami eyes. She also did not understand why I insisted on not bothering Ryuzaki with it.

As if on cue, my phone rang.

'Your timing is creepy,' I said into the phone.

A short laugh rang in my ears as response. I wasn't sure whether I'd actually heard Ryuzaki laugh before, at least not on the phone.

I still hadn't. Because it was Watari on the phone. 'I would ask you why, but I am very much afraid the answer might be too odd for me to handle.'

I shrugged as I started walking again. 'I highly doubt it. You have been with Ryuzaki since forever, I think your idea of odd is a lot different from mine. Or most people's, at that. But um… why are you on Ryuzaki his phone? Did he throw it at you or something?'

'Oh, no, nothing of the sort,' Watari responded with a smile in his voice. 'It's just that I wanted to ask you something secret and Ryuzaki likes to track my calls. He won't suspect his own phone, I hope.'

Well, this did not make his actions seem suspicious at all. 'I have told you many times that sneaking vitamins in his snacks does not work, he immediately knows it. Or at least suspects it. I think he will never trust anything I make myself again.'

'Oh, I am not talking about that. I was talking about Near.'

Utter silence in my head. I had no idea what he was talking about. 'What about him?'

There followed a short silence, which with Watari didn't always need to mean something important. But for some reason, today I got the vibe that it was. 'What?' I asked slowly, suddenly really, really suspicious.

'Haven't you noticed anything odd lately?' Watari asked, seemingly changing the subject completely.

A conversation with Watari had never seem pointless, but this conversation certainly seemed like one. 'Why are you asking questions while I am out? I'll be back tomorrow!'

'I am asking this now because you have been gone for nearly a week and I suspect Ryuzaki will not leave your side once you've returned for at least four days and I feel like this is getting out of hand.' There was an edge in his voice that sounded new to me.

I was already at my hotel now, walking hastily to the elevators while the man at the reception looked at me with the same eyes he had when I checked in. I was a young girl with poor fashion taste and blue streaks in my hair, so, yeah, he was going to stare. I told Ryuzaki a cheap hotel would be better, but he wouldn't listen. That did not change.

'Okay, then, maybe you have a point.' Not really, Ryuzaki would probably still spend more time behind his computer, but I decided to ignore the facts for now. 'But you've got to be a little more specific if you want me to help, because I honestly do not know what you are asking me.'

'I want to find Near,' he said, as if he had the words lined up months before. 'I want to find his working space and make sure Ryuzaki lets go of the feelings he has regarding Near.'

Still utter silence in my head. 'Which is?'

'Quilt.'

* * *

XxX

Ico never kept me company while traveling. She hated plains and trains and basically anything and everything that moved on its own. So as I was making the trip from Paris back to England, I thought about everything Watari had said.

He was right, of course. I didn't really want to think about it, but I knew Ryuzaki felt responsible. Not just for Near, but for everyone. But I never thought that Ryuzaki would feel guilty about Near now being a child on his own. That is, maybe A didn't leave him all by his self, but still.

So. Finding Near. It was not going to be easy, but maybe not impossible. I believed Ryuzaki could do it if he really put the effort in. And I knew that – if he were a part of the argument – Ryuzaki would probably guess that I could not do it. Not because he thought bad of me or whatever, but because he was realistic. This idea might not be. Well, at least I had Watari and his believe in me, so perhaps I shouldn't be so pessimistic.

After all, I had solved this case. Ryuzaki was getting more and more comfortable with sending me as his assistant instead of Watari. It was easier that way. I was younger, less noticeable and in less danger. And, well, he still trusted Watari's cooking. After a few little mistakes he refused to eat anything I make. In any other relationship I would perhaps consider that as an insult, but I knew Ryuzaki. He was too honest about such things and I respected that.

Not that I even considered this a real relationship. Ever since the previous case he had pretended like I was Watari 2.0, nothing more. It wasn't his fault, I knew that. It was mine. I had been putting myself in danger for a long time, but it had taken him a while to figure out what that meant.

Yes, I had my maximum lifespan now. But not even Ico would know when that would be over. Mine and Ryuzaki's lifespans had completely disappeared for all eyes. No one knew what our maximum lifespan was. Some people were simply given more time than others. And after I accidently explained to Ryuzaki what our maximum lifespan actually meant; not something that would guarantee a long life, just a thing that could protect us from premature Death Notes and dangers, he never treated me the same. I should have said anything to him. But I hated it when I was dishonest to him.

'You know,' Ico said as I was walking from the airplane to the baggage claim area, 'I have no clue how he does it. How did he figure out that a famous killer from Germany was hiding in Paris without ever leaving his chair? I mean, I don't believe in magic, but that certainly sounds like witchcraft to me.'

I snorted. 'Is there such a thing as a death god that does not believe in magic? Aren't you basically magic?' I asked. I had long ago given up my attempt to seem normal by not talking to Ico in public. I had blue hair, I wore whatever I wanted, people were going to think I was crazy anyway. Judging was one of those things people did best.

'Well, we aren't magic. And I think at least a third of us would kill you for saying that,' Ico responded.

'Well, good thing then that a Death Note has no effect on me,' I said, shrugging as I scratched the back of my head.

Ico suddenly got really quiet. 'Unless your time is up,' she finally said after a silence that was just a tiny bit too long.

'Unless my time is up,' I complied.

* * *

XxX

Do you know the feeling of anticipation whenever you arriving somewhere? The feeling that someone might be there to pick you up, be there for you? I never had this feeling before, but I assume it is a thing, because it felt so natural. Something I _had_ felt before, was disappointment. Which followed right after this feeling once I realised that there was someone waiting for me. Only it was an unknown driver. Not even Watari had come to pick me up.

'You'd think they didn't even miss me,' I muttered to the driver, who was to uninterested that he did not talk to me during the entire ride.

When the car did pull up at the small apartment, which _I_ had bought to stay close to Ryuzaki without overstaying my welcome, but it ended up being his private office most of the time, I was already so pissed off at everything that I just wanted to drop my suitcase in the hallway and go to bed. Only the universe was never that fair.

And in front of my door stood an unfamiliar Shinigami.

* * *

XxX

The Shinigami was tall, she had much better posture than Ryuk or Rem and she was taller than Ico. I was starting to suspect Ico was small for a Shinigami, now that I'd seen a few. This Shinigami was clearly female. Ico didn't look female, but she sounded female enough. The Shinigami screamed femininity.

This Shinigami was white and had bug-like features, though her face looked surprisingly normal, with humanlike eyes and a humanlike mouth. The only thing about her eyes – and her head, at that – that seemed off was the thin layer of feathers that covered less than half of her face, hiding one eye a tiny bit. And the only odd thing about her mouth was that her lips were so black that no lipstick could've done better. Only the shoulders were covered in something that resembled skin, but it looked more like dead butterfly wings. White with black lines. The remaining parts of her body looked like bones, still she looked bug-like. And despite her bright white appearance, her claws were black and long.

But for a Shinigami, I did not find her frightening at all.

I observed her, unsure what to feel, what to say. I had no clue who she was and what she was doing here, but for some reason, I wanted her to speak first. Which she did, after a terribly long silence.

'I am Arma,' she said, her voice calm and sweet and clear, nothing at all like the Shinigami I had met before. I was sure Ico would be jealous of her in some capacity. But Ico had left when I got into the car and she had not returned yet. 'And I want to ask you for help.'

A Shinigami actually asking me for help? I mean, the king did that, sort of, but it more seemed like ordering me around. 'You want… my help? What happened?'

'My Death Note has been stolen. And my days are very limited,' she explained, immediately trusting me with the information I wasn't sure I deserved. Where did all her trust come from? She didn't even know me. 'You collect fallen Death Notes of our Majesty the king, yes? You could help me find my note and by doing so, you will be doing our king a great service.'

Her voice was so soothing, she sounded like a mother, almost. But every word she said made my tired brain even more exhausted. 'Listen, Ava or Ara or—'

'Arma,' she repeated.

Sure. 'Arma,' I said, 'I _want_ to help you. But I must admit that I am quite tired and I won't be of much help to you this way. Would you wait for me until I have rested? My companion will be here shortly and I am sure she will be able to help you, too. We will see what we can do for you.'

'Thank you,' she said. So. An actually polite Shinigami. I'd never thought I'd see the day.

As if he had been listening to every word we said, Watari suddenly opened my front door. 'Miss Severs, you have returned.'

For some reason, I really did not feel like talking to him right now. Not with Near and Arma and everything else. Watari or Ryuzaki could really just go back to the orphanage right now for all I cared. This was my apartment, anyway.

'I am going to bed,' I announced to Watari, dropping my suitcase in his hand and walking past him, already in my room before he could protest. Lucky enough for me, my room and attached bathroom had a lock.

Lucky enough for me, I had stolen Ryuzaki's copy of the key weeks ago.

* * *

XxX

Arma actually respected my boundaries, because I did not see her as I brushed my teeth, put on my pyjamas and got into bed. Once I was save and well in bed, I remembered what she'd said. Her Death Note had been stolen? I knew that Shinigami needed their Death Notes to write names, because they gained the remaining lifespan of the humans they killed prematurely. But what happened if you lost your personal Death Note? Ryuk had had a spare one, but I assumed that was not always the case. What if you did lost your one and only Death Note? What if you rarely wrote names? Then losing your Death Note may be a death sentence.

Maybe Arma was so polite because it was much more than her Death Note on the line. It was her actual life.

Now I felt guilty about not wanting to help her immediately. In a situation where time is as limited as it is in this case, she would probably think I was a self-centered of garbage.

How ironic that I sent her away to rest, because now – because of her – I couldn't rest at all. That and the voice at the door.

'Are you alright?' Watari asked, a question he was probably sent to ask.

'I'm fine, thank you. Just tired,' I replied, knowing that Ryuzaki would certainly stay away if he thought I was sleeping. It was never hard for him to stay away.

'Alright, then. Rest well,' Watari said, clearly unsure if he had done everything he could for me.

As soon as I did not heard Watari his footsteps anymore, I shot up and started hissing Ico's name. For some reason, sometimes, that actually worked. But not today, it seemed. So, perhaps, my second option. ' _Arma!_ ' I hissed, hoping she was nearby. But I once again got no response.

So there was nothing left to do but try to sleep. As if that would work. As if I could do such a thing right now. I had not even seen Ryuzaki yet! It had been my own god damn fault, I knew that, but if I'd known myself better, I would've gone to meet him anyway. Good ideas seemed few and far between these days.

I lay down again, closed my eyes in a first attempt to sleep, but shot up immediately when I heard someone racing through the corridor. That was definitely not Watari.

Someone tried to open the door, followed by a frustrated punch when they found the door locked. 'Open the door, Allison,' Ryuzaki ordered.

I frowned. He sounded so… so…no, not worried, that wasn't the right word. Anxious wasn't it either. As if he was in a hurry? As if he was in a foul mood _and_ in a hurry, that was what it sounded like. But it did not make me want to hurry up. He should learn to be more patient. You can never be too patient.

'Allison!' he said again, this time with a hint of something I hadn't heard in a very long time. He rarely said the word 'please', but he had a way of saying something else with that message clearly, visible hidden inside.

So I got up and hurried to the door, but not too fast. Whatever had made him so upset, I wasn't quite sure whether I actually wanted to know or not. 'What is it?' I asked a bit angrily when I finally opened the door.

He stared at me, scanned my face, trying to find something, anything, I wasn't sure. Then he suddenly grabbed my shoulders. 'Is it you?'

A rather confusion question, to be perfectly honest. 'What?'

'Are you yourself? No one… Did no one…' He scanned every inch of me, almost as if he was trying to find something he didn't particularly like.

I tried to free myself, but he desperate grasp was too strong and I was too tired. 'Ryuzaki, calm down and explain to me what you are talking about. You are sounding like a mad man here. I mean, a madder man than normally. You usually also sound like a mad man, but I meant to say—'

'Humans can be controlled with Death Notes,' Ryuzaki interrupted me. 'I have been studying your behaviour these past couple of weeks and used my memory of the years before that as extra information. The moment you behaved out of character, I would know.'

I froze. Understood everything he said, and every secret meaning behind it. He had realised we could die by the hands of a Death Note. He did realise that we could be controlled. So he studied my behaviour, preparing himself so that he could recognise the moment of my death, at least, if a Death Note had anything to do with it. This was not only worry, this was preparation in such detail and with such awareness. He hadn't even seen me and knew immediately that something was off. Only he did not guess the right reason. When you rarely slept, like Ryuzaki did, things like 'tired from travel' and 'having trouble processing a new Shinigami' were concept he wouldn't expect could influence your behaviour.

I sighed, both touched and worried. We did not know when we were going to die, no, just like everybody else. But we were the only ones who could do nothing about it. When our time was up, it was up. No one, not even L himself, would be able to save me once my time was up. 'Ryuzaki,' I said slowly, freeing myself gently. He let me and I used my newfound freedom to grab his hands. When they started to shake, I sighed a kind sigh and pulled him in for a hug. He hated those, but I explained to him many times before that I needed the reassurance. And today, I was giving him that same reassurance. My beating heart against his chest, my warm arms holding him tight. More alive than he could imagine.

I held him until he at last sighed and relaxed. His face was still the same as always. Tired, pale and handsome. To me, he was the most handsome creature on earth. Even if he was a bit strange. We made the perfect public appearances together. I mean, they did not happen _often_ , but you wouldn't believe the stares we got.

'I think we might have a new case soon,' I warned him, already distracting him from more important issues. Like our relationship. Or our future. Or the fact that he had kissed me in months. And how, every single day, I got more scared to touch him, be close to him. Distance was something that not only existed outside your body. Distance was between minds, too. And it got in your head and grew, spread out like a mighty virus.

'How so?' Ryuzaki asked as he absentmindedly touched my hair.

I thought about tapping his hand away for a short while before deciding I liked it. 'A Shinigami asked me for help earlier today. Said she'd lost her Note. She is asking me to help. Apparently, I am the go-to girl now.'

His eyes widened and I saw a hint of anger in them, something that made the darkness burn. 'Why didn't you tell me this the moment you came home?'

 _Because my heart is like the heart of a young teenage girl and things have been awkward between us._ 'Because I am _tired_ , Ryuzaki. You might be able to handle not sleeping fairly well, but I _need_ sleep to function.'

Ryuzaki slightly tilted his head to the right and observed me, eyes narrowed as he scanned my face. 'Well, you look like you are fully functioning at the moment.'

My god, impossible as ever. 'Ryuzaki, please, just let me sleep. I promise we will talk.' Not about all the important stuff, but we _would_ talk. 'I will come to you first thing in the morning, alright?'

Consideration played on his face. 'Alright,' he said at last.

'Thank _god!_ ' I groaned as I turned around and walked back to my bed.

Only to see Ryuzaki getting in on the other side of it. 'What are you doing?' I said, halting my actions.

Ryuzaki lay down on the covers as if he slept every single night like a normal human being. 'I have been awake for thirty-six hours now and though that is usually too early to start sleeping, if you are resting, I will too. For now.'

As if. He was going to be bored in at least half an hour. Which was both a sad truth and a comforting one, so I lay down under the covers. Which was followed by a staring contest to intense and I had to clear my throat and turn around.

From behind me, I felt Ryuzaki grabbing my wrist and bringing it towards him to hold it, checking my pulse in the process.

'Paranoid,' I mumbled, my eyes closing as I somehow found the calm to ease up and try to sleep.

'What did you say?' Ryuzaki mumbled.

'Nothing,' was my reply before sailing off into dreams and nightmares.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I feel like this chapter is quite bad, but that is usually the case with new stories for me. I have to get into it. Even though it's a sequel, it's a different story with different rules and everyone is different now, so if the quality is not up to par, give me a chapter or five and I will be fine.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for reading, I am unsure whether I will update next, but I hope you stick around.**

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 **REVIEW REPLIES**

 **Victoria-Nicole: Thank you so much! I love (South-)Korea as well and I would love to live there for a period of time one day. But Portugal is amazing, too, I hope you had fun!**

 **BarkingKittens: Yayy! I love making people happy, even if it is soooooo late (sorry about that) and yes, I would love to be on the list of people in line to buy a barking kitten. Maybe after you have successfully created those, you can try to create meowing dogs, that would be adorably weird and amazing.**

 **donnaforgot: aawww, you're so sweet! Thank you so much and sorry for the long wait!**

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	3. Six

**I'm back! And tired. First few weeks back to school are always tough for me, but I'll find a way to get through it. I have been painting, actually. Which is great for me, but not so great for writing, since a painting can easily take up weeks. But! Here I am! Back and alive and not dead (for once). So let's go!**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **XxX**

 **2\. Six**

I woke up without Ryuzaki in the room. Not surprising. I was surprised, however, to find no Shinigami in my room. Not Ico and not Arma.

I frowned and sat up, scanning the room in the process. No one. Huh. People were leaving me alone for a change. Weird.

And not relaxing at all.

I jumped out of bed and towards the window, opening the curtains before opening the window itself. 'Ico!' I hissed, hoping she was listening close enough to hear me.

'Did you have a good rest?'

I spun around, already knowing that Ico was not the one I was going to find. Instead, it was Arma, towering over me like something so much more elegant than any Shinigami I had seen before. She looked like a different species, a different class. Not as much terrifying as creepy. And way less demon-like.

'Arma,' I said and I found myself sounding relieved. I had been worried about Arma. More because I would feel guilty if she died because I wanted to sleep than because I was worried for her as a person, but worried nonetheless.

She stared at me in silence with a smile that was probably meant to be polite, but I already realised that pleasant expressions looked kind of odd on Shinigami faces. She was probably waiting for me to say something, but I wasn't sure what. So I ended up saying: 'So. Um. You lost your Death Note.'

Her smile became wider, creepier. 'I am currently not in possession of my Death Note, yes. But I did not lose it. It was stolen.'

Great. Well, at least there seemed to be thievery in the Shinigami Realm, too, so that was something I did not need to know but now knew. 'And you said that you did not have much time left to find it?' I asked, really conscious of the fact that Ico wasn't here. I needed her with cases like this, she was the one who knew what the Shinigami King wanted me to do.

Arma nodded. 'You see, I have not written down a name for a long time. I prefer not to. But, if I don't obtain my Note soon, I will die.'

'Okay,' I said, hearing the clock ringing in her voice. Time was running out. If I was going to help, I needed to help fast. 'And how much time are we talking about, speaking in human time?'

Arma lifted her head, thinking. Calculating. The formula she was now doing in her head could we the key to all the lifespans I could see. But I did not know the formula, so the numbers I sometimes saw were meaningless. Because humans did not live in Shinigami time.

'About three months,' Arma said, making that sound like a really short time.

And yes, it was, but I had been expecting something along the lines of 'a week' or 'three minutes'. The longer the lifespans, the shorter a period of time seemed, of course, but I knew well enough now that faith loved to toy with me.

I tried not to insult the Shinigami by looking relieved. Instead I frowned and thought about what to do next. 'Were you in the Shinigami Realm when it was stolen?'

Instead of replying to the question, she asked: 'Does this mean you will agree to help me?'

I stared back at her, the incredible height, the black – buglike – eyes and the butterfly wings as skin over her shoulders. She truly was a beautiful creature if you forgot about the creepy parts. 'I—' I wasn't sure what answer to give. 'I don't want to make any promises, but I will try to help you. Well, first I need to consult my Shinigami, not sure where she is at the moment—' Then something hit me. 'Wait. Do you need to find your Notebook? Or just one that can replace the old one? If I gave you a Death Note without an owner, could you use it to extend your lifespan?'

We did not have the Death Notes, that was true, but finding Near and A was probably a whole lot easier than finding some random Shinigami we didn't know. Especially if Ico was going to continue to be so unavailable.

But Arma shook her head. 'I can only extend my lifespan with the Death Note that was assigned to me.'

'Shit,' I cursed, realising the trouble she was in. 'Well, okay. I need to speak to Ico first. And I really do not know if I can help you, Arma, this sounds like something that is way over my head and I do not think that I can—'

'Help her.'

I looked up, only to see Ryuzaki standing in the doorframe. Like he had been there the whole time. Like he never left. Arma did not seem surprised by his presence. As if she already knew he was here.

I looked at him, confused. 'How long have you been standing there?'

Ryuzaki put his hands in his pockets and walked into the room letting the door fall shut on its own. 'A while,' was his response. Then: 'Help her, Allison. A Death Note out there in the world is much more a danger for us humans than for Shinigami.'

'But how can I help without Ico? I have to resources to speak of and she has been gone for a while now,' I shot back, sounding way more desperate than I'd wanted to.

Ryuzaki walked passed Arma and stopped right in front of me, giving me a smile that did not reach his eyes, nor did it look believable. 'Since when do you not have any resources?' he said, the smile in his voice that did not show on his face. 'You have me.'

* * *

XxX

'So, you were on earth searching for someone to lengthen your lifespan when someone suddenly took your Note from you and disappeared?'

Arma nodded.

I was sitting in my chair – a red one with great wheels – and spinning around in it as I thought. Ryuzaki was sitting a few feet away on his own chair, facing his laptop and pretending to work on one of L's cases. I knew he was listening to every single word I said, trying to find Arma's answers in the words I said. Arma not having a note made it impossible for Ryuzaki to see or hear her, but he was good at filling in the gaps with the context he was given.

'And you did not see what the Shinigami looked like?' I asked, spinning around once more before using my foot to stay still so I could look at her as she answered.

She shook her head. 'Only that it was wearing a red clock.'

I mean, that wasn't nothing. I had never seen such a vibrant colour on a Shinigami. What a hipster it must be.

I wrote down 'Shinigami, red clock' in my notebook and sighed. My notebook was filled with actual murder cases. And now, things like 'Shinigami' and 'Death Note' were written in it, too. It seemed like it just would not let me go.

'Did anyone know you were leaving the Shinigami Realm when you did? A friend who might've accidently told someone where you were?' I asked and I spotted Ryuzaki nodding in approval at the other side of the room. At which I rolled my eyes because I had _told_ him to do his work so that he had some time to rest. _Men_.

Arma looked at me with a look I couldn't quite place, probably because of her odd eyes. Well, eye, I should say, but that sounded just too weird in my head. When Arma suddenly looked down I could place the look on her face.

Sadness.

I frowned, stopped spinning. 'What is it?' I asked, immediately regretting the question as soon as I'd asked it, worried it was too personal. I hung around Ryuzaki so much these days that I was slowly forgetting the fact that there was such a thing as 'personal boundaries'.

'I am afraid that I do not have any friends or acquaintances,' Arma responded after a silence that wasn't necessarily long, but felt long because of the weight it held.

I sat back down, unsure how to react. That sounded an awful lot like… me.

Well, no, I had acquaintances, so not really. But friends? I wasn't sure I had those. Sanami was my family, but I doubted that counted. Matt was someone I considered a friend, but then again, how well did we really know each other? The emails we'd sent before we met had all been a lie (on his part, anyway) and he was so different now that I was unsure as to where we stood. And Near, I thought I'd had some kind of connection with him, but he'd betrayed us and left with no problem, so I could count that relationship as dead. And me and Ryuzaki had never really been friends. We were somewhere between boss and employee and… well, more than that. But he was so much better at playing the boss that I was stuck in my employee part most of the time, no matter how much I hated it.

Though I shouldn't hold it against him. This time, his cold attitude had been my fault.

'Allison Severs?' Arma asked, sounding slightly worried.

I shook my head, shaking all the thoughts away and smiled to hide my sudden sadness. 'Yes, I am sorry, I dozed off for a second there. But, well, did anyone else know you were leaving? Any witnesses? Even if you do not know them, a description can already be helpful.' _So I can give that description to Ico. Then, if she doesn't know, she can give it to the King._

Arma looked deep in thought, then held up one of her incredibly long fingers. 'Only one Shinigami was sitting by the gate I used to travel here.'

'And did that Shinigami have a red cloak?' I asked, already knowing that that would be way too easy.

And I was right, Arma shook her head. 'No, no, he did not. He was small and kind of fat and had a tail…' She seemed deep in thought for a second. 'And that's all I can remember.'

All I could see was some sort of fat salamander with a froglike face for some reason, so I decided to _not_ think about any Shinigami she would describe to me. Deducting reasoning and deducting reasoning only.

'Do you know the name of that Shinigami? Or perhaps someone who you sometime saw _with_ that Shinigami?' This question probably only made sense if there weren't that many Shinigami in the world. I did not want to know how many there were. I was still having nightmares from that one time I had been to the Shinigami Realm, I did not want to know anything more about it.

'No, I— I do not socialize with others of my kind. I prefer not to.'

Something about that statement made total sense to me. The dreaminess and class that Arma was presenting did not seem like a great fit with the Shinigami I had met so far. Still, I asked: 'How so?'

Arma brought one arm around her waist and rested the elbow of the other one on it, making a classy wave with that hand. 'I do not agree with their values.'

Before I could respond to such an answer, an answer I wasn't quite expecting, Ico appeared in the room, in a weird spot. Normally, she would always appear in front of me, as obnoxious as she could. Now, she was in the corner of the room, staring right in front of her as if she had just seen something that would hunt her forever.

'Ico!' I shouted, jumping off of my seat. 'Where have you been? I have been looking for you! I just met—'

'Six,' she said, interrupting me as if she hadn't heard a single word I said.

'Six what?' I asked angrily, my patience with her long gone. 'Why are you looking like that, what's going on?'

'Six,' she repeated, finally looking at me. No hint of her usual playfulness and spirited. 'Six Death Notes have been dropped into the human realm.'

* * *

XxX

'Olivia!'

Mishima was running towards me with his notebook and pen, breathing as if he'd been running for a while. Jesus, couldn't he just wait for the next meeting to ask me more questions?

'What is it?' I asked, trying very hard not to sound rude, but not really succeeding. You had people like Matsuda, who weren't very clever, but trying very hard with a big heart. Mishima was trying very hard… but for reasons I didn't quite get. That and the fact that Ryuzaki wasn't fond of him made me think twice about his every move, his every word. Ryuzaki was rarely wrong. Though he seemed to dislike Matsuda most of the time, too…

'I wanted to ask some questions regarding your Shinigami,' he said, already writing down something as if I had already given him great information.

'What about her?' I asked, still hiding Arma from the Task Force, as Ryuzaki had asked me to do. _'They are trying to find the six Death Notes,'_ he'd explained, ' _not help some odd creature they do not know nor care about._ '

'Could she kill you? I mean, if she wanted to. Not that she does!' he added hastily. 'Just because, you know, in the reports it says that the Shinigami assigned to the human is usually the one to write down his or her name in the Death Note. Is that the case with your Shinigami too? Or do the rules not apply to your condition?'

I frowned. The Death Note Ico had given me way back was already back in her possession, so was I still a Death Note owner? Did the rules apply to me? 'I am not sure,' I answered honestly, more for myself than for Mishima. 'But I certainly hope not.'

* * *

XxX

'You have _got_ to be kidding me!' I shouted, pacing through the kitchen as Ryuzaki sat on the counter, downing some chocolate chip cookies.

I had given Arma some grapes and she was casually eating them, but Ico was standing fruitless in the doorframe as I yelled at her. 'Do you not have spies or police in your freaking realm? How can six Death Notes land on earth? Wait, no, don't tell me, I don't want to know how.' I pressed my hands against my closed eyes, trying to lessen my anger. 'Tell me why. Why would six Shinigami decide at the same time that dropping their Death Notes was an okay thing to do?!'

Ico did not get a chance to respond, instead, Ryuzaki jumped of the counter and spoke. 'I would not be surprised if the tales of Kira reached the Shinigami Realm. If their characteristics as I've mapped them are indeed correct, there would be some supporters who think that the way Ryuk decided to relieve his boredom was a good idea.'

I stared angrily at Ico for confirmation.

She nodded sadly. 'There's a group of them now. Rebels, Ryuk supporters. They call themselves "Kira".' She pulled a disgusted face. 'They've been trying to steal Death Notes to drop them all at once for a while now.'

Ryuzaki gave me the face that told me he wanted me to translate. So I repeated what Ico said to him, although not in the same words and not quite as sad and shy. Ico was never sad or shy. And I doubted my yelling was the cause of it.

'Yes, but, why six?' Ryuzaki said once I was done translating. 'Was there a benefit to such a number, or was it just a coincidence that was what they picked up?'

Ico sighed, breathed in, calmly, trying to find herself again. I tried to do the same, but my anger remained. I had agreed on helping the Shinigami King with problems like these, but I never expected six Death Notes at once! That was just insane! 'There were two Death Notes in the human realm. One of which, the one that belonged to Misa is believed to be destroyed because of Rem's death, but because it was not Rem's notebook to begin with, the Death Note remains. They had planned on seven Death Notes on this earth. But now there are eight.'

'So they don't know about Misa's Death Note, but why is seven important?' I asked, giving Ryuzaki the information he needed while also asking a much needed question.

Ico glanced over at Arma, almost as if she was trying to find help, but Arma kept casually eating grapes, did not really care about anything human-related. Why would she? She was a regular Shinigami, not one that actually cared. Well, she was always better than Ryuk, that was for sure. 'The human realm works differently than ours,' Ico responded. 'The power that the Shinigami Realm holds over the human realm can be transferred between worlds, yes, but the power that comes with death does not have much space in your realm. So more than seven notes cannot hold. There is not enough power in your realm for that. So every note that falls after the seventh one holds no power. It's power gets drained and even if one of the Death Notes is destroyed or taken back to the human realm, that Death Note will never regain its power. Once it's drained, it's drained.'

I knew the underlying message she was giving both me and Arma. If the last Death Note to be dropped was hers, she was dead.

I translated back to a confused Ryuzaki, who slipped into his complete L-stance as he started to think. 'Amongst those six Death Notes dropped, every single one has the potential to become a Kira successor. Judging by the ends the Shinigami want to meet, more than one will pop up. Not only in Japan. All around the world.' He suddenly turned and paced out of the kitchen, walking straight through Ico.

'Watari,' I heard him call from outside the kitchen. 'Arrange the Japanese headquarters and some plane tickets. We are going back to Japan.'

I frowned and walked towards the doorframe. 'Ryuzaki?'

He was already pacing back into the kitchen, pushing me aside so that he could go in. Arma made a sound that sounded disdainful. 'How rude,' she said, but her high dreamy voice made it sound like she was only joking.

I ignored both Shinigami in the room, only focused on the detective who was pacing through the small space we shared. 'Ryuzaki, are you going back to Japan? Why? You just said they could be all over the world?'

'I want to be sure they know where to find me,' he replied hastily, suddenly standing still and grabbing his phone. I watched in silence as he dialled a number and called, holding his phone in the odd way he always held things. Ico had found it odd, but Arma did not seem so worried or impressed. She probably had not spend much time with humans. Or with anyone at all. From the little information she'd given me, she sounded quite lonely.

'Yes, good afternoon,' Ryuzaki said in Japanese into the phone, 'I know it's late, but may I speak with Chief Soichiro Yagami, please?'

* * *

XxX

'Mishima!' Chief Yagami shouted sternly, coming to the rescue as he walked in a fast pace towards us. 'What are you doing? I told you not the bother L and his team outside meeting hours!'

'I'm sorry, sir,' he said. 'I just think it's beneficial if they would share _all_ the information they have and—'

'Are you questioning my and the Task Force's methods, Mishima?' Chief Yagami asked, even more sternly than when he shouted. Losing his son had made him even more steel than he'd always been. But like way back, he was still always protecting me. Even if he still had problems with Ryuzaki and his methods. Which was probably why he left L out of the narrative for now.

Mishima closed his notebook and turned his attention completely away from me. 'Sir, I just think we are giving them too much freedom. We are not one hundred percent sure that they are innocent to begin with.'

He _did_ know I was standing right here, right?

'Neither are we one hundred percent sure about your innocence, Mishima. No one's innocence can be proven. We just have to work with the tools we've been given. Endless suspicion will get you nowhere,' Chief Yagami said, suddenly sounding more like a father than a police chief. The Death Notes had had such an impact on his life and on him as a person. Mishima would never be able to understand the hardships Yagami had to go through.

Nor did he try, really, he was kind of insensitive.

And he did not know when to quit. 'But sir—'

'Shut it and go back inside, Mishima,' Chief Yagami said, his patience run out. And no one could ignore an order when he said it like that. Not only stern, but threatening, like he'd start firing people if challenged. Something Chief Yagami would never do, unless the circumstances asked for it.

'Thank you,' I said as soon as Mishima was outside of hearing distance.

Chief Yagami's face fell, revealed the lonely old man he had become. Yes, he still had Sayu and his wife, but he was still a father who had lost a child. No one recovered from that easily. 'You're welcome.'

I gave him a reassuring smile and he gave me a sad smile back and put a hand on my shoulder. 'Everything okay with you?' he then asked, a father back in his protective part.

My reassuring smile became a sour one as I gently took his hand off my shoulder. 'Oh, you know. Death Notes, Shinigami, lifespans, names, the usual,' I replied as Ico finally came drifting into the building.

'He's back,' she said simply, her face drained and tired. I would never have guessed that Shinigami could actually get tired.

I nodded and focussed back on my old police chief and mentor. 'Everything okay with _you?_ ' I shot back.

He took a step back, sighed. 'No. But I will be a whole lot better if all those Death Notes are locked away somewhere.'

My sour smile turned bitter as I too took a step back, towards the door that would lead me away from the chief and the Task Force. 'Won't we all?'

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 **End of chapter three! I am already started to feel a bit more comfortable in this new setting. Hope the time jumps weren't too confusing, I was thinking about putting "time jump" or something of the sort above those parts, but decided against it in the end.**

 **Thank you for reading! I am not sure when I will update again, but we'll see! And no review replies this time, simply because I haven't gotten any yet. Anyway, thank you for reading and until next time. Bye!**

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	4. Shape

**Well, I have been gone for long! Sorry, people, school was making life impossible. But I am here now! Also I am tired so I think there will be more typos than usual. And I will try to update next week, too, because I've been gone for quite a bit and I don't want to lose the feel of this story. But we'll have to see, I have a pretty busy week ahead of me, so I am not sure about anything right now. Which is annoying, but I cannot really do much about it.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **XxX**

 **3\. Shape**

There were things I knew I could never get used to. One of these things was, of course, the private planes. The casual way Watari and Ryuzaki handled it, I couldn't do that. It was too much fancy in one place for me.

Both Arma and Ico had gone away, because both did not like being on an airplane. I had asked Ico about this multiple times, but she claimed that "some things are just more fun when you don't know the answers". She was vague like that sometimes.

'You look tired, sir,' Watari commented about halfway through our journey to Japan. Neither of us had as much as closed their eyes. Watari and Ryuzaki were both working on the computer, I was pretending to read a book, but I secretly was just worrying about everything inside my head.

'You always think I look tired,' Ryuzaki shot back.

'Ryuzaki,' I said lazily, something I did more often these days. When spending time with them, I realised they often had the exact same arguments, so I attempted to stop those before they started again.

But, sadly enough, both Watari and Ryuzaki were perfectly okay with ignoring me. 'You have not slept in too long, Ryuzaki, you must never let a lack of sleep influence your deductive abilities.'

'I do not ever let that happen,' Ryuzaki said, an answer I had expected him to say.

Rolling my eyes I decided I could just as well put on a movie and forget these men's existence for a short while.

The argument went on for a while and even with the volume of the movie on maximum I could still sort of follow what was going on. Which meant I heard Watari loud and clear when he said: 'We need to inform Near.'

I immediately held my face into shape, holding no reaction. I knew Ryuzaki would speak more freely if he thought that I could not hear him. I was right; from the corner of my eye I saw him looking at me. Pretending to realise that only a moment later I mouthed "what?" to him, feigning total innocence. He shook his head and turned back to Watari. I did not want to seem too suspicious, so instead of looking at his face to read his reaction, I looked back on the screen. The movie I was watching seemed boring all of the sudden.

'I know,' Ryuzaki responded, his voice less loud than Watari's. I was too afraid to adjust my volume, though, to scared he might notice.

I knew it was stupid, still doing this despite everything that had happened. But the problem was… I wasn't sure what had happened. _If_ anything had happened. I still felt like he could just leave at any time. I didn't feel any better about my position by his side. Secretly, I liked the dangers. Secretly, my most selfish side was happy that there was another Death Note case. Because I could actually be more useful than others, I could not be replaced or left behind.

Well. I still could, I just had more hope that he wouldn't like this.

'Do you need to send someone after him?' Watari asked. 'You have been searching for him correct?'

Ryuzaki scratched the back of his head before putting his thumb against his upper lip, his words less understandable because of it. 'Searching someone who does not want to be found can be tiresome. We need to make sure he wants to be found. We need to make sure there is no reason for him to say no.'

* * *

XxX

'Jesus Christ!'

'Come on, can we not use the religion talk right now? It seems very inappropriate all of the sudden. Especially coming from you.'

'But… why did he do that? Why would he do that?'

'I don't know.'

'You have no idea?'

'None. I never have any clue what that kid was doing.'

'Seriously? But… But he whispered things in your ear, it says it right there in the file.'

'Yes, because he was trying to kill me. He didn't reveal his evil masterplan to me or anything like that. He wasn't like that. He never told me anything.'

'But… but I thought you were friends back then.'

'… We were not.'

* * *

XxX

Sometime during the flight I must've fallen asleep, because I awoke with the odd sensation that someone was standing close to me.

When I opened my eyes abruptly, I found Ryuzaki staring at me, hung over me as if he wanted to check if I was still alive or not.

Too surprised to find him so close to me, I jumped back. 'What are you doing?!' I shouted, also waking Watari up, who had been sleeping in his seat.

Ryuzaki took a step back, which was only possible because this plane was so damn spacious and put his hands into his pockets. Though, even hidden away I could tell they were fists. Not out of anger, but in an attempt to control… something. I had only see him do that a couple of times before.

It made me frown. 'What's wrong?'

He did not react, leaving a silence. A silence in which I could clearly think about what I did wrong. He had been worried, probably, as he was. Either he wanted to check if I was okay, or he wanted to check if I was alive or… Well, no. I would not consider the option that he used my naps to openly stare at my face. After all, he did not need to stand right in front of me to do that.

Watari observed Ryuzaki cautiously as he went back to his seat and jumped into it in his usual position. A slight frown appeared on his face. 'Are you alright?' he asked Ryuzaki, clearly already knowing the answer, but needing Ryuzaki to say it out loud.

I sighed and looked out of the window, already knowing that there was no place for me in that conversation either. I felt like a spoiled brat at times like this, mostly because I could just ask Ryuzaki what was up and what was down. I didn't have to wonder and think and complain in my head. I could tell him I had a problem with something and I could tell him that I'd liked to know where we stood. And I didn't. Because the thought of him giving the wrong answer still terrified me.

Which basically meant that nothing had changed and I was still a scared little idiot.

'Ryuzaki,' I suddenly said without any intention, interrupting whatever conversation he'd been having with Watari.

'What is it?' he asked, not hiding his suspicion as well as I knew he could.

I gave him a vague smile. 'Do you believe in ghosts?'

Stupid question, but A it was a conversation starter and B, I did actually not know the answer.

My questions only confused Ryuzaki more, he frowned. 'You are asking me whether or not I believe in ghosts?'

I nodded slowly, still the vague smile plastered on my face because I did not know what else to do, what face to pull.

'No,' he answered then, sounding disinterested even for his usual level. 'I do not.'

I straightened in my seat, willing him to speak more. 'Why not? If there are Shinigami, who's to say—'

'I do not believe in ghosts, Allison.' He looked at me with an almost cynical expression. 'Why would I?' he then asked, firing the question back to me.

'I don't know,' I said defensively, shrugging. 'It's a comforting thought. The dead watching over us.' I looked off in the window for about two seconds before looking back at Ryuzaki.

He looked like he was legitimately thinking about putting me in a mental institution. 'Since when do you find death so soothing?' he asked me with a voice that definitely sounded like he was planning on putting me in a mental institution.

I shrugged again. Maybe I didn't even mean it. Maybe I just wanted attention. It wasn't like there were any dead people that I was actually missing.

 _Light_.

I shivered, looked away from Ryuzaki his face, too afraid he would guess what I was thinking. I did not miss Light. But what _did_ come after death? He passed to whatever came after, like I'd asked the Shinigami King. Was a ghost something you became for or after what came after death?

Did it matter? I probably didn't even believe in ghosts. I could ask Ico. She would probably know. Whether or not she'd tell me was a whole other case, but it did not seem important right now.

'Don't think too much about the dead, Allison,' Ryuzaki suddenly said and when I looked at him, I saw he had his eyes closed. Like he was planning on sleeping. 'They are dead either way.'

* * *

XxX

'I would like to introduce you to Olivia Upson and Mister Watari. They are L's assistant and will be functioning as the communication between the Task Force and L, but also as valuable new members of your team.'

'What is this?'

'I don't agree with this.'

'Jesus Christ, another stupid interference.'

'What's with this flimsy looking laptop. Why doesn't L show his face?'

'He doesn't trust us!'

'Why should we trust him, then?!'

'I don't understand why the Task Force trusted him in the first place.'

'Yeah, to hell with L! He was even friends with Kira!'

'SHUT UP!'

Tears rolled down either side of my face. Not just because of this meeting. But because of everything that had happened the day before. So I repeated: ' _Shut_ up.'

* * *

XxX

I walked through the familiar corridor with my suitcase, dragging it behind me like an unwilling child. It hadn't changed, of course, and Watari did tell me that he'd hired people to dust it before we came here. He also understood that after a long flight, I'd wanted to be alone. So he had followed Ryuzaki to the main room, a place I wanted to avoid for a while.

It felt like a ghost house now, silly enough. It had been so new, but suddenly, it felt old and rusty.

All the doors were still closed, as they'd always been, but the door to the room that I had mostly slept in was opened, the light on. I wondered if there was a button in the control room for that. Knowing Ryuzaki, I guessed there was. He could probably seriously spook me if he'd wanted to.

I walked into the room, immediately letting go of my suitcase, leaving in behind in the doorframe.

I wondered what I was expecting. Dust? Nope. Those plastic covers that you saw in televisions shows and at crime scenes? I had never actually been to such a crime scene, so I wasn't really expecting that. It was just my room, nothing new. Nothing had changed.

 _Nothing has changed_.

I sighed and sat down on the bed, humming a song silently as I started at the unchanged ceiling. Maybe I should just sleep some more.

I sat up down a loud banging noise in the room came from the doorframe.

Ryuzaki stood there, almost as if frozen mid-fall, my suitcase on the ground. He looked at me with his big dark eyes, seemed disoriented. I couldn't remember if I had ever seen him stumble and fall over something before… and I couldn't help but laugh.

'Are you okay?' I asked while laughing.

'You two should really stop asking me that,' he mumbled as he gently pushed my suitcase out of the way and walked over to me, surprising me by sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

'You should stop telling us what to do,' I said, still kind of laughing, not really thinking about what I was saying.

Which showed; Ryuzaki was confused. 'But I am your boss. That is literally part of my job description.'

I pulled up my eyebrows. 'I have never received a salary slip from you, sir.'

Ryuzaki was still confused. Probably because he did not understand the mocking tone. Or perhaps he was just very done with me at the moment. 'Do you want to receive prove of your salary monthly, weekly or daily?' he asked me, very seriously.

Which made me laugh once again, but this time it was because I was nervous and unsure how to behave myself. I wondered whether that was ever going to change or not. Probably not. 'I was kidding, don't actually do that.'

He pulled his eyebrows up. 'I was kidding, too.' But he said it so seriously again that I really wasn't sure what it was that he was actually telling me.

So I just nodded and tried to think of something to change the subject. 'Okay then. Hey, I wanted to ask you—'

Ryuzaki stopped me in the middle of my sentence with suddenly grabbing my face and kissing me. Out of nowhere. When I did not respond in about three seconds, he pulled away and stood, hands in his pockets.

I tried to refrain from licking my lips. 'Um. What was…'

'You and Watari will go to the police station tomorrow to introduce yourself to the new Japanese Task Force. Chief Yagami will be there, and Matsuda has come back to. Neither of the others were willing to return, so we were forced to bring in some new faces, hence I am not coming with you.'

The waterfall of words started and didn't seem to end as he slowly walked towards the door, avoiding my suitcase way more than necessary.

'Ryuzaki…'

'Also, we are having a few small problems with the boiler, so maybe not shower tonight, I am sure it will be fixed tomorrow and…'

'Ryuzaki.'

He had stopped talking now and was already in the hallway when I couldn't stand it anymore.

'Ryuzaki!' I shouted, so loud and hysterical that I didn't even recognise myself.

About two seconds later, his head popped back into the doorframe. And he looked understandably wary.

And I wasn't really sure about what to say. So, in typical fashion with tears in my eyes, I said: 'Can you just come here for a second?'

Still incredibly wary, he slowly walked up to me, staring at my crying face as if it was one of the weirdest phenomenona he had ever seen. After all the slow steps he slowly sat back down next to me again and I didn't wait as I just flung my arms around him and hugged him, pressing my face in his white sweatshirt.

He reacted way quicker than I'd expected him to, his fingers slowly grabbing my shoulder as if to hold me steady. I used this confirmation to swing one leg around him and crawl on his lap, which ended up pushing us both backwards until we were laying.

I wasn't even completely sure why I was crying, though there seemed to be so many different possible reasons. What I did know that when Ryuzaki started softly saying: 'sshh' in my ear, the crying only became worse.

* * *

XxX

'Chief!' I shouted, running towards the entrance as soon as I saw him walking out of there. Losing his son had clearly aged him, but it was still the boss I knew and liked. So I didn't hesitate and wrapped my arms his neck, hugging him as if he was my father.

He seemed unresponsive at first, but lightly tapped my back after a while, to which I slowly let him out of my grip.

Chief Yagami did not look very pleased, though. Or happy. Which I couldn't take too personally; this wasn't a very happy scenario. 'Good to see you again, miss Upson,' he said, his voice carrying the same old age his face now carried. Like his soul had aged about one hundred years, leaving his body behind. 'I wish we could have met again under more joyful circumstances.'

'How is everyone doing?' I asked as we walked inside the building. Watari had gone earlier tomorrow to do a basic safety test and to install some things that we might need.

Chief Yagami knew I wasn't talking about the police force. 'Sayu has actually learned to study on her own now. She is one of the top students of her class. And my wife… she tries to be strong. She struggles every day, Upson, I don't know how to explain it to you. It's like she is going through life one day at the time because she wouldn't make it otherwise.'

I hung my head, couldn't even picture it in my head. She had always been such a kind woman. Not strong in the physical sense and certainly not strict, but her kindness and heart were so strong. So, _so_ strong.

'I am so, so sorry about everything that happened, Chief,' I said, already knowing that no words would ever sound sincere enough.

'It's not over, sadly,' he said, 'but I hope we'll both be there, you may share your condolences with me, then. When it's finally over.'

'I want to murder those Shinigami's,' I said in a fit of rage, making some people who were just walking around the office look at me strangely.

Chief Yagami made a low sound that I couldn't quite place. 'I don't think you would be in much trouble if you did.'

But he did not know anything about Ico, Arma and the Shinigami King. Not yet.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I feel like this chapter's shorter, is it? I am sorry, that was never my intention. It happens sometimes. Also, I have been looking up old murder cases and I honestly don't know why because now people scare me. Also, the movie** ** _Brimstone_** **that I had to watch for school did not help. So I am spooked and going to sleep. In the dark. Well. Shit.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I will see you guys next time I update! Bye bye!**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **REVIEW REPLIES**

 **Victoria-Nicole: Yeah, I do make a lot of typos, there's a warning for that at the beginning of the chapters most of the time. Also, I am not fluent in English. So yeah, if that bothers you, just stop reading the story because I just don't always have the time to proofread it 500 times and they just slip through my fingers every time.**

 **yuuki01200: Hahahaha, so true!**

 **hpfan59: oooh, that's an idea! Not sure whether I can do that, though xD, he is pretty hard to get. But I will include some scenes like I did before, just to understand him better (since he can be pretty hard to understand).**

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	5. Virus

**Jesus Christ, school wants to kill me. Anyway, I here I am, back for another chapter! I really am sorry, I did not think I would be updating as little as I have, but school is just giving me no choice. And my family situation isn't helping either, but let's not talk about that right now.**

 **I don't know when I will be able to update after this, it's proving more difficult, so please have more patience with me. I had thought this would be a fairly short story, but if I keep updating with such gaps in between, this won't seem short at all, so that's a thing. I am talking way too much again, let's stop with the chitchat for now.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **4\. Virus**

'Alright, let' begin,' Mishima announced, though he wasn't the boss. He seemed to do that a lot, pretending he had more power in the unit than he actually had. I had already noticed his lack of friends in the department.

Which was hard. The Kira-department was huge now. One of the reasons Ryuzaki didn't want to be here, obviously, but I was here instead and with a lot of hidden equipment, he might as well be in the room with us for all he saw and heard.

'The suspect, Sakura Aoi, 20 years old, was of no fixed address. I speculate that she had the Shinigami eyes,' Mishima went on, before collecting his files and standing, grabbing the stage all for himself. I already knew who he was going to bring up before he did, mainly because the department head of Japan was in the meeting with us. Though Chief Yagami was technically still the boss over the Japanese Task Force, this man, Junrou Sugawara, was his boss in a way, and so he came for updates once in a while. I actually think he just came every now and then to check if we were still acting as the perfect department.

'We know from Misa Amane, who had the eyes before losing her memories, that those with Shinigami eyes can identity people by looking at them.' Mishima pressed a button and an older picture of Misa Amane appeared on the big screen in the meeting room. She looked better than when I last saw her. Mental institutions were made to heal your mind, not your skin. I knew she missed her make-up artists terribly.

'Was Sakura Aoi the new Kira?' Chief Sugawara asked, looking over at the files.

'I'm afraid not,' Mishima answered.

'Please elaborate,' Chief Sugawara asked.

Mishima glanced over to Chief Yagami, who nodded. He was allowed to explain. Mishima turned back and walked over to the laptop connected to the screen, _his_ laptop, and started loading files on the screen. 'Neo Kira imitates Light Yagami, the original Kira.'

A picture of Light appeared on the screen, wiping Misa's face away. I found myself staring. This was another older photo, a high school photo to be exact. And his changes were both more subtle and more drastic. There was nothing in Light his eyes. No evil, no passion, nothing. As if he was soulless. I couldn't understand how he transformed in front all of us and none of us noticed. None but one.

' _Are you okay?_ ' Ryuzaki asked through an earpiece. I should've known he was watching me just as carefully as he was watching the screen. Ryuzaki found Mishima to be quite boring.

'I'm fine,' I whispered really softly as Mishima went on: 'He used the Death Note to persecute criminals all over the world. It reduced crime to a maximum of seventy percent and Kira followers still worship him as a God.'

'Some god!' Chief Sugawara snorted, throwing the file on the table angrily.

Suddenly, the door of the conference room opened and Matsuda came stumbling in. 'I am so sorry!' he stammered, quickly yet clumsily sitting down in the only empty chair next to me. 'I got stuck in traffic and then the e—'

'Matsuda, don't interrupt the meeting, please,' Chief Yagami ordered. Matsuda swallowed hard and looked down.

I saw Mishima looking at him, but not annoyed. Too much of a Kira-case fanboy to be annoyed with one of its original Task Force members. So he just sighed and continued as if nothing happened. 'Neo Kira also targets criminals, not innocent people. Sakura Aoi is pretty much the opposite of both Kira and Neo Kira and thus is not the person we are looking for.'

Just as he concluded his statement, someone at the door spoke. 'What a worn notebook.'

We all looked over. A young man with cheek length dark hair, with grey streaks and green eyes stood in front of the door. He must've slipped in right after Matsuda.

'And who are you?' Chief Yagami asked.

'Ah, do excuse me,' he said before bowing. 'Masayuki Arai is the name. I will be working with the Japanese Task Force from now on.'

' _Watari, background check,_ ' I heard Ryuzaki say through my earpiece. I frowned. This meant that he came here without Ryuzaki's knowledge. That was shady.

'I hired him,' Chief Sugawara said, standing. 'To make sure the cooperation with L and his… assistants goes smoothly without complaints from other departments, it seemed wise to hire another high profile detective.'

There was a silence. No one knew what to do with themselves. That is to say, all but one. Masayuki Arai seemed surprisingly relaxed as he let himself fall onto one of the chairs that were stood against the wall and kept his gaze on Mishima. 'But seriously, though, it really is a very worn notebook. Isn't it time to buy a new one, kiddo?'

'It's just well used,' Mishima said, clearly already annoyed. Something we shared at this moment. Even though he was silent, I could feel irritation with Ryuzaki, too.

'He's a Death Note fanboy,' Nanase said with a smile, too kind to be annoyed at anyone or anything.

'I'm not!' Mishima said, more annoyed, but already more than used to it.

The new member pulled his eyebrows up. 'Fanboy?'

'You can ask him anything you'd like to know about the Death Note,' I said, giving Mishima the task none of us wanted to fulfil. No one wanted to assist the new guy. And who knew, Mishima did enjoy talking about his favourite hobby. That being the Kira investigation.

'It's rather useful,' Matsuda said.

I gave him an odd look.

'What?' he asked me in a whispery tone.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to explain that he should not need that since he was _there_ the first time, but trying to reason with Matsuda was like trying to teach a cactus to dance. It looked quite dumb and it was a great waste of your time.

Masayuki Arai just laughed. God, I already knew I did not like him.

'Now then,' Chief Sugawara said, turning to Chief Yagami. 'I would like you to take me downstairs and show me Sakura Aoi's Death Note. Detective Arai can come along as well, of course.'

'All my Task Force members are allowed to come,' Chief Yagami said sternly, no doubt in his voice. He wasn't going to let his boss have the upper hand. Because _he_ was still the chief of the Task Force, not him.

'And is L coming along as well?' Masayuki Arai asked.

'No, he won't be corresponding with us in person,' Chief Yagami replied. Then he looked at me and gave me a reassuring half-smile. 'But his assistant is.'

'Thank you,' I said, faking a polite smile. 'But I would like to pass. I've seen enough Death Notes for a lifetime.' I looked over at the new detective, waiting for his reaction. I got none. He just looked at me like he wasn't interested at all. And then he gave me a false smile.

He was going to cause some problems, I could already tell.

* * *

XxX

'Olivia!'

Misa ran through the canteen and flung her arms around me. She smelled like cheap soap and hospital, but her aura hadn't changed much.

'Oh my God, I haven't seen you in _ages!_ ' she squealed as she slowly let me go. 'How's it going? Found a boyfriend yet? Did you hear from my agent? I think he's been avoiding me. Which is odd, because my contract is still unbroken and my career going strong! I am even getting a reality show when I am discharged about how I will climb back up and I—'

'Misa!' I interrupted and she frowned at me. 'Calm down. I have more than enough time to hear you out. So calm down. Let's sit down first, then you can tell me everything, alright?'

'Alright!' she immediately agreed, pushing me to the nearest table and forcing me in one of the uncomfortable chairs. No one was really looking at us, but there were people in the room. Some young women were sitting in front of the television and a couple of people were playing a card came at one of the bigger tables. A man was talking in circles in front of one of the doors.

'So!' she then said, folding her hands under her chin and looking at me with one of the most innocent smiles I knew. 'Tell me _everything_. I feel like I have been living on Mars or something. Like, no one visits me anymore! It's so frustrating!'

I tried to think of something to say. I tried to think of a subject, something to talk about. But I got nothing. Me and Misa had never been friends, exactly. She had been in my life and that was it. I did sort of like her now, she annoyed me much less, though it did not seem like her personality had changed. And despite the fact that Light had tricked her, she never seemed to blame anyone. Which was admirable.

'Are you okay, Misa?' I asked through all of her questions I did not know how to answer.

Her word-vomit stopped and she looked at me with big eyes. Then I spotted it, behind those eyes. Grief, sadness, loneliness, fear. But she pulled up another one of her smiles and gave me a wink. 'I will be _fine_ , Olivia. And besides, people _love_ me here! I even get to perform in public areas every now and then. I think I am exactly where I want to be.'

That last sentence made me frown. I analysed her face, but could not spot it. I knew that the last sentence meant something, something important. But I did not grasp it. 'And why do you think that?'

'Well, I am easy to find, of course,' Misa said simply, the dark dangerous secret now much closer to the surface. 'So if anyway wants to find me, it's not that hard and yet I will always be save. Did you see the security guards here?'

Yeah, I did. Scary dudes in white robes. The best bodyguards in the world, probably.

'Aren't they amazing? Quite sexy, too,' Misa then said, changing the topic ever so subtly.

The frown stayed on my face. 'Is there anything else you would like to tell me, Misa? Anything related to… the latest events?'

'Nope,' Misa said, too quickly. She caught on, looked at me with her eyebrows raised. _Got you._

I had to talk to Ryuzaki about this.

I sighed, decided that I shouldn't stay here _until_ I had talked to Ryuzaki about this. 'I have to get going,' I said as I stood from my chair.

Misa did not seem to mind much. Eagerly, she stood as well. 'Okay! Will you come visit me next time?'

I narrowed my eyes. There, that was it. That was odd. Not necessarily that she would ask me to come back, but the fact that she phrased it so awfully. 'I will be back. But I don't know when, I'm quite busy.'

'Oh. Okay,' she said with a big smile. 'That's alright. Don't feel the need to hurry, okay?'

Definitely suspicious. 'Alright,' I said slowly, unsure what anything she said really meant.

'Oh, and do give Ryuzaki my greetings,' she added as I was leaving.

I was too much in a hurry to realise she had no way of knowing I was still by his side until I was already back in the car.

* * *

XxX

I found Ryuzaki in his usual place in the old headquarters' main room when I got back. Eating snacks, staring at his screen. I was used to seeing Ryuzaki sit alone in a dark room and yet… seeing this place so empty again made my heart break a little.

'You can just ask Matsuda to come here after work hours, too, you know he'll love to,' I said as I slowly approached him.

Ryuzaki turned his chair to me. 'Why would I want that?' he asked, clearly confused, not getting the hidden meaning.

I rolled my eyes and walked towards the kitchen area of the room. 'No reason.'

'I did a background check on Masayuki Arai,' Ryuzaki told me.

I opened the fridge with a frown. Only cake and other stuff that wouldn't suffice as dinner. Great. 'And?' I asked, not sure if I was interested in that man or not. Everyone in the Task Force sort of blended together after a while. Except for Mishima. But that was because I found him exceptionally annoying sometimes.

'Nothing yet,' Ryuzaki replied. Which _did_ spark my attention.

'What?' I said, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl before walking over to him. ' _You_ did not find anything about a certain someone? I thought it would take you – like – six minutes.'

'My thought exactly,' Ryuzaki replied honestly. 'But I don't know anything about him. I don't know his detective name, it's not the name he has given you, I am certain. The FBI don't know the name, so it's quite possible just one he made up for this case. I set Watari permanently on it, so you will be on your own during the Japanese Task Force meetings for now.'

'Oh, great,' I said sarcastically. 'Because I was so thoroughly enjoying myself before. Is it _really_ necessary to work with these people? Can't you just put a correspondent on it or something, I mean, we don't even know if the new Kira is in Japan or not.'

'Oh, he is in Japan,' Ryuzaki said casually, as if this was information I already knew.

I halted peeling the banana. 'What? Since when do you know that?'

'Since this little thing happened,' Ryuzaki said, pointing at one of the screens.

Frowning, I walked the last bit towards the screen and saw what he meant. 'What… what is this?' I asked, taking a step back as soon as I saw what it was.

A picture of Light Yagami was on the screen, his eyes masked off with a red line and the familiar font saying "KIRA" above it. Even with the eyes like that, it was clearly Light Yagami. It was clearly Kira.

Ryuzaki didn't noticed the impact it had on me and went on casually explaining. 'This is a virus. It hijacked computers and smartphones. The hackers method is called the Pacifist Hacker, it cyberattacks states who are not taking the right precautions regarding terrorism.'

'Is… Is there anything else?' I asked.

Ryuzaki frowned, finally noticing how much this effected me. 'Well, there's a message that comes with it, but the audio is completely distorted.' He pressed _play_ and indeed, a distorted piece of audio started playing.

' _I am Kira. I control the lives and deaths of all humans. I have the power. And to bring peace to this world I will eliminate all fools. Kira is needed to create a new world. I am Kira. And I will be the God of the New World.'_

'Okay, out, out. Stop.' I backed away from the screen, frustrated, scared. I knew the Death Notes were back, I did. When we arrived back in Japan, when I heard a new Kira, Neo Kira, had arisen, I had known. But I hadn't realised that we were back in the Kira-game until now. We were once again back, as if we never left. But now it was worse. Because now, we had all the context. And we could do nothing to stop it.

'I thought you knew,' Ryuzaki said and I heard a hint of sadness in his voice. 'I thought at the Task Force, you heard everything.'

'I left early,' I explained, putting a hand against my forehead, 'I went to visit Misa.'

'Oh,' Ryuzaki replied, uninterested. 'Good. We need to keep an eye on her. If the current Kira knew Light was involved, he must know about Misa, too.'

'But you don't think Neo Kira is Misa?' I asked, reminded of her strange behaviour earlier.

Ryuzaki slowly shook his head. 'No. I have asked the nurses to check all her belongings and I have let Watari keep an eye on her for a week or so. She is in the clear, for now. But you never know what might happen in the future.'

'Okay,' I said after a short thinking period. I was considering telling him about my visit, but then again, he didn't ask and it didn't seem that relevant. 'So. How _does_ Neo Kira know that Light Yagami was the original Kira?'

'Well, there has to be a leak, somehwere. The small group of the FBI that know about it can have slipped up, or a member of the Task Force.'

'Or Misa,' I reminded Ryuzaki.

He turned around in his chair to study my expression. 'For someone who seemed to be bound on vouching for Amane Misa before, you sure are not helping her case today. Did something happen? Did she perhaps say something to you or…?'

'Nothing happened,' I lied, to which Ryuzaki narrowed his eyes. He spotted my lies way too easily.

'Do you—' Ryuzaki begun, but he was interrupted when the door opened and Watari walked in, not a friendly smile on his face for once, but a worried look that I couldn't quite place. That and he was carrying his laptop, which made it very easy to spot that his hands were shaking.

'Ryuzaki,' Watari said, his voice steady.

'Yes, what is it, Watari?' Ryuzaki said, his focus still entirely on me. As if he would forget I was there if he broke eye contact.

'I have found something important regarding the detective you wanted me to research, Masayuki Arai,' he said, putting his laptop down on the table. 'And I have also found a lead in the ongoing Near-investigation.'

'Excellent work, Watari,' Ryuzaki said before breaking eye contact with me. I let out a relieved breath as Ryuzaki walked over to the table to talk to Watari in a more natural way than staring at me while doing so. 'What is it?' he asked.

'Well, I have scanned his profile and looked through several addresses, locations, identities and I found out who he is working for, in fact,' Watari explained, pointing at things on his screen. Things I couldn't identify because I was standing too far away.

'Well, this sure is surprising,' Ryuzaki suddenly said, sounding not that surprised at all.

Curious, I walked over to the table. 'What is it?'

'The connection…' Ryuzaki mumbled.

Frowning, I looked over at Watari. He was always more than willing to clarify, something I couldn't always say about Ryuzaki. 'What is it?' I repeated.

'The thing is,' Watari begun, clearing his throat before continuing, 'that those two assignments seemed to be connected.'

'Are you saying that…'

'Yes,' Ryuzaki interrupted me, stealing the explaining job from Watari. 'Masayuki Arai has a connection with the detective N. It's very likely Near is behind this.'

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I actually planned on leaving Arai – or "Ryuzaki" as he is mainly referred to in the movie – out of the story. But I realised he says a lot of things that neither Allison nor Ryuzaki would ever say, so I thought it would be interesting to keep him in for contrast. That and I also wanted to add someone who was a tad more normal, so this guy probably won't be accurate to the movie. I just felt like Ryuzaki becomes sort of normal if his only team players are Olivia and Watari, who have already accepted the weirdness of him.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **hpfan59: oooh, I get it! Yeah, I could do something like that, as an extra. Not sure when or how I will, though, so I won't make any promises, since I am so busy and I don't want to give anyone false hope. But that definitely goes on the list of things I might like to do.**

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 **XxX**


	6. Dead & Gone

**Who has two thumbs and is failing in both school** ** _and_** **updating? Me! Stuff is not going great for me, but I'm sure I will find a way to climb back up. There's this Dutch saying I don't know how to translate about how hope makes life or something I wouldn't know how to translate it, because very literally, it just becomes "hope does life" and that makes no sense at all, so there…** ** _When_** **did I decide to give you guys a Dutch lessons? I don't know, I'll stop.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **5\. Dead & Gone**

'Remember, come close, but not too close, he cannot suspect you too much, he is our only lead to finding Near.'

'And _why_ can't I just ask him? I mean, if I tell him I already know he works for N, than it wouldn't matter anymore, right?' I ask as Watari parks the car close to the Japanese Task Force building. I held my phone in my hand, on speaker, so that Watari could listen, too.

'If Near does not want to be found, letting him know we are still actively looking is not a smart idea,' Ryuzaki answered, clearly busy with something else entirely. I heard that he had his mouth full, but that was nothing new. But he also sounded like he was focused on something else.

And to be honest, I was having trouble focusing, too. 'You know, let's say you are right and forget everything I just said.'

Watari chuckled next to me before getting out of the now parked car, walking over to my side to open the door for me. Something I actually let him do after I protested for about an hour and not getting anywhere because Watari was more stubborn than on old tree. Well, Ryuzaki had to get it from somebody, I guess.

Me and Watari were normally quite early, but today we were kind of late. An early meeting had been arranged and for some reason, they decided to not tell us this until this morning. So we came in last, with the new detective again in the chair against the wall, almost laying on it as if he owned the place.

Chief Sugawara did not seem happy today. Probably had something to do with the virus-thing. 'Any ideas?' he asked kind of angrily.

'Well,' detective Arai said, jumping out of his chair. He walked up to the screen, Mishima's little toy, and walked in front of it as he spoke. 'The focus should be on who'd have Light's image. There aren't many people who know his actual identity. Five FBI agents in total, a few loose ex-Task Force members, and you.' He looked at us all, a look in his eyes I knew very well. I had seen multiple little oprhans with that look. I had seen _Ryuzaki_ with that look plenty of time. Not so much an accusation as much as a warning.

Nanase pulled her chair back a little and stared at the detective angrily. 'You doubt us?'

Masayuki Arai put his hands in the pockets of his long, dark coat and smiles devilishly at her. 'That's my job, isn't it?'

'We don't trust you, either,' Mishima said, standing up, looking royally pissed off. 'And we don't need your cooperation. Any of you.' He shot me a short glance. I had wanted to support his claim, but now, I couldn't. He had put me and detective Arai in one little box.

Instead of shutting up, detective Arai stepped closer to Mishima. 'Suits me. If I need you, I might put you to use.'

They were standing so close now. And I noticed for the first time just how tall Mishima was. Detective Arai looked so tiny in front of him.

'That's enough,' Chief Yagami said with a sigh and Mishima stepped away from the detective with an angry look on his face.

Detective Arai held Mishima's gaze for a moment longer, then looked away from a shrug. 'For all we know, this could actually be Light. Perhaps Light _is_ Neo Kira,' he said, as if it was completely logical.

'Bullshit,' I said, so sharply that everyone looked at me with a shocked expression. 'Light is dead. I was there the day he died. You must've read the report, you know I'm right.'

'Right,' he replied, but not in a way that made me feel like he was agreeing with me. 'In a world with Shinigami and killer notebooks, is there such a thing as death? How do we know that he is actually, truly, dead?'

I pressed my lips together and looked at him angrily, but I had no reply. I could hardly tell him that I had two Shinigami friends who said that wasn't the case.

Matsuda interpreted my silence as agreement. 'I see. So Light might actually be alive,' he mused with a vague smile on his face.

Detective Arai chuckled, pulling up an eyebrow. 'Don't be happy, idiot, we're still talking about a murderer here.'

Matsuda thought about that for a short while before looking down, embarrassed.

The detective sighed dramatically before talking again, pacing in front of the screen as he did so. 'The Kira virus was used to access the personal information of international VIP's, agents and their families.'

'So he can kill them at will,' Kuromoto said nervously, saying something out loud that we'd all realised.

'Yes,' detective Arai mused, 'so law enforcement agencies are immobilized. The FBI agents who knew about Light's identity are being protected, but more than that seems to be impossible at the moment.'

'But then…' Chief Sugawara looked at Chief Yagami with legit concern in his eyes. 'Is our Task Force alright?' Obviously, only concerned for himself.

Chief Yagami crossed his arms. 'I have only hired people without close family ties, so no officers in the Task Force have families. We put one of the best detectives and hackers in the world on making the untraceable and everyone here goes by pseudonyms.'

Everyone seemed to nod in agreement.

'That is,' I said slowly, 'everyone except myself, Matsuda, Chief Yagami… and you, Chief Sugawara.' I smiled innocently, but this little piece of information did humour me.

Chief Sugawara looked at me, completely shocked. Detective Arai laughed. 'Oh, your personal information might have been stolen, chief.'

Chief Sugawara looked at the smiling detective he hired, smiling because his boss might be in danger. I saw it in his eyes, the exact moment he regretting hiring the man. Chief Sugawara stood. 'Have the police servers checked. Everyone, dismissed.' He walked out of the room, so fast that no one had any chance to stop him.

Slowly, people started to collect their papers, moving back to their desks outside the meeting room. Everyone except for Mishima, me, Chief Yagami and Detective Arai. Mishima stayed because the meeting room _was_ his office, hence all the toys were his, I stayed because I had no office, so I usually just sat somewhere until I could be of any help. Why the other two stayed, I had no clue.

As some people were leaving, Detective Arai plopped in the chair that belonged to Chief Sugawara. 'Mishima,' he said, 'tell me more about Kira's accomplice, Misa Amane.'

I froze. Why did he ask Mishima about that? I was sitting right here, wasn't I?

'Don't order me around,' Mishima said almost automatically as he walked over to the pedestal with his laptop on it.

I grabbed my phone, to give me something to hide my emotions with, and said: 'She wasn't charged with any of the murders. Her memory was wiped when she gave up the Death Note and because of some special circumstances, she was rendered mentally unstable and has been in a psychiatric hospital ever since.'

The few people still in the room loitered in the room, wanting to eavesdrop on this conversation. Matsuda pretended he needed to order some papers, but I could tell they were all completely empty.

'Aren't you letting her off too easily?' Detective Arai said, almost sounding like a whining child.

'It's the law,' me and Mishima said at the same time. We looked at each other briefly then and I could see he hated it just as much as I did than we'd talk simultaneously.

'Light was the love of her life,' Matsuda said dreamily and I slapped him in response. He did not even seem too upset about it.

'I'm sure he used her,' Detective Arai replied.

'He did,' I said, looking at my telephone screen, sounding bored.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw detective Arai going through some papers. 'I read in a file that one of the FBI agents keeping an eye on her disappeared a while ago. Is anyone on that case?'

'I was,' Mishima replied.

I looked up from my phone for a second, only to see detective Arai pulling up his eyebrows. ' _Was?_ '

'The case has been put on hold when Kira returned,' Mishima said. When detective Arai just looked at him with his eyebrows pulled up, Mishima sighed and clicked on some keys on his laptop. A familiar file appeared on the screen. 'His car was found at the foot of Mount Kora. So far, we have found no further clues or evidence and the agent's replacements have found no odd behaviour from Misa Amane.'

'However,' I said slowly, realizing the importance of it now, 'I have known her for a little longer and I did find that she was acting… strangely when I visited her. It might not have anything to do with the Kira case, but she was definitely showing some out of character behaviour.'

'If it were a copycat,' chief Yagami said, then he shook his head, erasing the "if". 'Neo Kira nows Light Yagami was the first Kira,' he said without flinching, 'wouldn't it be natural to assume that Neo Kira knows about Misa Amane, too?'

'And knowing that, he might want to recruit her, to become even more like Light,' I said, frowning. 'We need more people on Misa-watch.'

'B-but there's no way she's involved, right?' Matsuda asked, clearly still a big fan of Misa.

'Involved or not,' said detective Arai, 'she is a lead.'

'Speaking about leads,' I said as I put my phone away and I knew Ryuzaki was turning away from his food and laptop now, frowning. Wondering just how stupid I was going to be. 'What is your view on the Neo Kira case so far, detective?' I leaned over the table a bit, closer to the detective in an attempt to make him feel more cornered.

Detective Arai smiled, clearly not feeling cornered. He leaned forward, pushing me back a bit. A frown appeared on my face as he showed me a childlike smile. 'That's a secret,' he whispered, before spinning out of the chair and walking out of the room, laughing as if someone had just told him a really funny joke.

'Um. What was that?' Matsuda asked, just as confused as I was.

'No clue,' I replied.

* * *

XxX

'Found anything?'

I asked Arma as she and Ico appeared in the kitchen. I got home about an hour ago, but Ryuzaki had been nowhere to be found. Watari told me he was in a meeting of some sorts, but I couldn't imagine what for. I thought I was supposed to handle all the social, human stuff, so that he could sit working at his laptop eating sweets all day.

'We found an owner,' Ico said, sounding way too proud. 'He works in a big building. We saw his Shinigami.'

'The one with all the feathers,' Arma said, as if that would help me. As if I knew any Shinigami's.

'She cannot do anything with that information, Arma,' said ico, poking the other Shinigami slightly. The serene calm Arma and upbeat, loud Ico did not seem to get along, but I think they had some sort of friendship? They did not seem to hate each other, let's keep it at that.

'Okay,' I said, nodding. 'Where do we find this man?'

'Ehh,' Ico said. 'I forgot the name of the company, but I remembered his name! But, anyway, Ryuzaki asked me to find a murder case to tie people we find to, right? I saw his Death Note. Haruna Kiyokawa will die of a heart attack tonight! It's the last one he wrote down, so with this information, we should be able to stop him!'

'But is it Neo Kira?' I asked, looking at Arma as I did so. I noticed Ico was only talking about one Death Note, so I guessed the answer already. So I wasn't surprised when Arma shook her head, confirming that she had not yet found her Death Note.

I sighed. 'Well, if we get him first thing in the morning tomorrow, that at least means one more worry for the Task Force.' I wrote down details Ico gave me on a small piece of paper, while Arma hovered awkwardly in the room, staring into space, eating grapes. When I got all the details I sighed. I wasn't sure what kind of sigh it was. 'You guys can go look further. I would like it if you'd keep an eye on Misa, I think Neo Kira might be easier to find if you keep watch over her.'

Ico saluted me clumsily. 'Roger, boss!' she said with a smile.

I rolled with my eyes and gave her a dry smile. 'Go,' I said.

The two Shinigami disappeared right before my eyes. I sighed again, grabbed my phone and texted Ryuzaki.

 _I am going to kill you if you don't explain to me where you are. Also, there's news. I will fill you in once you get back, okay?_

* * *

XxX

'According to her friends, Ms. Kiyokawa suddenly goaded Kira and then died,' Uragami said, him and Kuromoto being in charge of bringing in possible Death Note related accidents. I actually called Kuromoto this morning to confirm they were bringing this one up, but it was deemed unnecessary; they already had this case on the top of their list.

'Like she was hypnotized,' Kuromoto added.

A problem with having very specific tasks for every members, was that Mishima took all the tasks upon himself anyway. 'She has been an open supporter of Kira since the very beginning. There was much controversy around her, since she was a news anchor who openly supported Kira of TV. The channel fired her, but she quickly got hired by another company as soon as the Kira case closed.'

Neither Uragami nor Kuromoto seemed upset that Mishima just took their task away from them. I could not understand why.

'She hasn't talked about Kira on television since then,' Uragami sent on, taking the talking back from Mishima. 'But her friends told us she still openly supported Neo Kira outside of work.'

'Which means that she was killed by a Death Note holder who is against Neo Kira,' Mishima concluded.

'Or it was Neo Kira, who thought that she was no longer supporting him, since she wasn't supporting Kira on television anymore,' detective Arai said.

'Unlikely,' I shot back, not wanting to be on the wrong path. 'None of the other reporters, journalist or other people with a wide audience who used to support Kira have been targeted, and she is no special case. With the timing and choice of victim, I'd say Mishima is right. And I also say that this holder is probably choosing his victims online. There has been an article about her being a Neo Kira supporter and it was posted only yesterday morning. '

'Not a coincidence,' Chief Yagami agreed.

' _Miss?_ ' Watari said through my earpiece. He had dropped me off at the Task Force building and left, saying he had other business to take care of. ' _I thought you would like to know that Ryuzaki has returned. He is quite well, I assure you._ '

I looked down, covered my mouth with one hand. 'That's great,' I whispered, knowing he could hear me, 'thank you.' I checked my phone to see if Ryuzaki had replied, but there wasn't any response to the text I'd sent yesterday.

I put my phone away, accidently crossing eyes with detective Arai, who had once again taken over Mishima's spot in front of the screen. 'Everything okay, miss?' he asked mockingly. 'Do you and your phone need a minute?'

I gave him a mocking smile back. 'If you want me to pay attention to you, you should say something interesting.'

'I bet you say that to your boss an awful lot,' he joked, before turning back to the screen as if I would let a remark like that stand.

'You don't even know him!' I said, standing.

'I know enough!' he shot back, sounding more frustrated than I'd imagined he would be.

I rolled my eyes. 'What's that supposed to mean? You know jack all about my boss!'

'Please don't fight,' Matsuda whispered.

Detective Arai looked like he was going to stick out his tongue to me like the child he seemed to be. 'You don't know anything about mine, either!'

'Ha! I know much more about that little albino boy than you might think!'

'ENOUGH!'

Just as Chief Yagami stopped us, me and Masayuki Arai made a connection for the first time. I saw it in his eyes, he _knew_ what Near looked like. He knew exactly who I meant. And now he also knew that _I_ knew Near and that he was working for him. And that I knew more than he might think, more than he knew, probably. Knowing the orphanage and the way they had raised him. Knowing Ryuzaki with all his secrecy.

Chief Yagami hadn't noticed, hadn't realized the non-verbal conversation detective Arai and I were having. 'I don't want _any_ fighting in the meeting room, alright? If you want to shout at each other, do it on the streets. And no shouting case related information, alright?' Chief Yagami's stern voice when he was angry was all too familiar. It was the voice of a father.

'I am so very sorry,' detective Arai mused after a long silence, bowing cheekily in an attempt at an apology. 'Do forgive me, miss Upson.'

I had completely forgotten what I was doing here, what my angle was, my purpose. Who we were supposed to be after. Slowly, as everyone stared at me, I sat down. 'Pardon me,' I said, 'I seemed to have lost my temper for a moment.' Then I cleared my throat and said: 'I believe our main suspect for this Death Note holder would be Kenichi Mikuriya. He is a judge who has stated multiple times that he would kill Kira if he had the chance. Not only that, but he's on twitter, too. He used to tweet about how much he despised Kira all the time. But, around the time Neo Kira rose, he suddenly stopped.'

Chief Yagami and the other seemed to think about this for a while. Mishima decided to support me for once and I could see that my little argument with detective Arai had surprised him, too. 'I also found Kenichi Mikuriya during my research and wanted to say the same thing. He seems to be the most likely right now.'

'Right,' Chief Yagami said with a sigh. 'Let's sent a team to investigate.'

'Judge Kenichi Mikuriya?' Nanase repeated, frowning. 'I… I just got a call from the reception downstairs,' she says, tapping the earpiece in her ear. 'They told me he was here and wanted to talk to someone on the Task Force. She told him to wait until the meeting was over.'

Detective Arai jumped on the table, so suddenly that we all shot back a bit, and pressed his nose to close to Nanase's face that she looked uncomfortable. 'Why did you only tell this now?'

'People have questions and visit us all the time, it didn't seem important!' she said.

Detective Arai jumped down again. 'Well,' he said, adjusting his coat. 'Let's go ask our little judge what he wants then.'

Just then, someone came running into the office. A younger officer, an assistant from the Task Force, was panting heavily and speaking quickly as she said: 'A man with a knife is walking towards the stairs with a knife!'

Mishima was the first out of his chair and after the assistant, but I was a pretty close second. Followed by all the other members, we ran down the hall to the stairs. I caught up to Mishima at the balcony, where he stopped to look down. A great number of police officers were standing, guns raised, on the top of the stairs, shouting words of halt to none other than Kenischi Mikuriya. He had indeed a knife, which was pointed up and forward a bit, but not too threatening. His eyes were glazed over, as if hypnotized.

 _Neo Kira got to him first_.

Mishima was already running again, so I shot after him. As soon as we – members of the Task Force – came on scene, Mishima and the others hiding their faces just how they learned to do it – the other police officers gave us space. This was something for the Task Force, not the regular cops.

Kenichi walked to slowly, so nonthreateningly that no one had much reason to shoot. He looked at us with dead eyes. 'I am looking for L,' he said, as if that was a normal thing to say. I felt shivers down my spine, though I did not quite understand why.

'Drop it,' Mishima ordered Kenichi, as if that made any difference. The other members of the Task Force formed a perfect triangle, clearly perfectly trained. I hovered somewhere next to Mishima, face uncovered and the gun in my hand already down. For I was not in danger and there were many, many guns pointed at him.

'Drop the knife!' Mishima repeated frustrated, clearly.

But Kenichi Mikuriya sounded so calm when he said: 'I have a message for L. Kira has already eliminated 3 Death Note holders. Now, it's the fourth ones turn.' Kenichi Mikuriya raised the knife and pointed it at Mishima, but he wasn't moving forward anymore. He just stood there on the top of the stairs, dead though still alive. For now.

'Kira is God,' he went on, sounding like a robot. He put both hands on the knife now and slowly started to move it towards his own neck. 'Humans can not defy God.'

And as the whole Task Force watched, Judge Kenischi Mikuriya stabbed the knife in his own neck.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I tried** ** _so_** **hard to make the last scene tense and I just could not find a way to do it. I guess the music really does help, which is something I can't achieve in a story.**

 **Anyway, that's it for this week. I certainly won't be able to update next week, but perhaps the week after that? I think that will work. Anyway, goodbye for now, thank you for reading, I am very hungry and very tired, so I'm going to eat and sleep and then back to school on Monday, yayy! I really do get way too chatty in these parts of the chapter sometimes. I should** ** _really_** **learn how to control myself. Oh well.**

 **Until next time!**

* * *

 **XxX**


	7. Blame

**WAUW I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG. I had a film festival and a close friend of the family is very ill and everything is busy and stuff and UGH I am sorry. But I am here now. So let's get this chapter started before something else happens and I won't be able to update for another 20 years.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **6\. Blame**

There is this thing Matsuda used to say whenever we saw death bodies, way back when I first joined the Japanese police force. He'd say: 'Let's suspend this moment for you, because, once you see this, you can never go back.'

I had seen pictures before, so I wasn't sure what it mattered. I had seen things when I was younger, too. Criminals weren't too afraid to get their hands dirty. But the first corpse I ever really saw, with my own two eyes, for real, was a young woman whose throat was cut from ear to ear. And although I had seen so much, so many things, that would always stay with me.

When Kenichi Mikuriya fell down in a pool of blood, his own throat stabbed, not cut, I could only see her, lying on the ground, staring at me. Almost as if she was blaming me for not stopping it. For being alive still.

 _If we had been faster, we could have prevented this_ , was what I thought. But deep down, I knew _I_ was the only one who should've worked faster. No one else was to blame.

'Don't do that.'

I had been standing completely frozen on the balustrade as other cops examined the corpse. Chief Yagami was standing next to me now, his expression stern.

'Don't do… what?' I asked, tilted my head to the side slightly as I looked at him.

'I have been a policeman long enough to recognise that face,' he said, looking down at the corpse before looking back at me. 'Don't blame yourself, Upson. It's good right and it's not good for your mental condition.'

I hid a sad smile. Spoken like a man who knew what he was talking about. Someone who still blamed himself every single day.

'Are you alright, chief?' I asked, seemingly out of nowhere. 'Is there anything else I could do to help?'

'Well,' he said, a bit more casually, 'I would appreciate it if you'd stop arguing with your co-workers.'

'But detective Arai-' I began, but Chief Yagami stopped me before I could continue.

'I was actually talking about Mishima,' he said, looking down on me with that fatherly look of his. 'He has done nothing wrong necessarily, right?'

Well, yeah, he kind of had a point. I sighed. 'Remember how much Matsuda used to annoy Ryuzaki during the first Kira case?' I asked.

Chief Yagami seemed confused by this question, but played along and asked: 'Yes. What about it?'

I sighed again and looked down on the corpse, scanning and finding Mishima in a corner, making stupid notes in his stupid notebook. 'I have a feeling that Mishima might be my Matsuda.'

Chief Yagami decided not to respond to that.

* * *

XxX

I walked into the main room of the old Task Force building, looking down on the screens and his chair. Not empty this time.

'You're back?' I said as I walked down the stairs, my voice echoing through the big space. 'I hope you have some really, really good explanation for why you were gone yesterday and I hope you are prepared to face a very—'

Ryuzaki turned around in his chair. He had a muffin in his hand and looked at me innocently. 'You're here already?'

'Y-you! Where were you?' I asked, crossing my arms.

'My, my, I see you do not lose the dramatic touch after work.'

I froze before slowly turning around. Masayuki Arai was standing there, leaning against the conference table, an arrogant smile on his face. It took a while before I could even speak a word. 'What is…'

'Good to see that you still have an unusual temper,' someone else said.

From the darkness of the room doomed a figure that was familiar as well as completely unfamiliar. He was taller than when I'd last seen him, his eyes seemed smaller, the markings under his eyes mimicked the once on Ryuzaki's face. And he smiled at me, a smile I had never seen him smile before. Innocent, but deadly. As if he was the only one in the room who knew a dangerous secret.

'Near,' I breathed, the word so soft and hesitant that it did not even sound like a word.

'Miss Upson,' he said simply, twirling one strand of his curly hair around one of his fingers. 'Are you trying to catch fish? Your mouth is hanging open.'

My brain was too confused, too much feelings at once. There was that part of me, the one always there, always asking for attention, that just wanted to scream. At Ryuzaki, at Detective Arai, at Near. At Mishima. But there was another part now, amongst the familiar feelings. I felt… betrayed. Because, they were all here. In their secret little circle.

And I had been completely left out.

Ryuzaki had just left. Only to return with Near and detective Arai, who he suddenly seemed to trust. Was there really any reason for me to keep buying into this bullshit?

I wasn't sure why no one said anything as I went still. So very still. From looking angry, to looking shocked. And now I was standing still, pressing my mouth shut, tears willing up.

I was standing with my back turned to Ryuzaki, but I doubted he would've noticed anyway. Near did not even seem to notice; or mind. The only one who did, was Detective Arai.

And he looked downright shocked.

With one step towards me, he reached, as if he wanted to reach for me, comfort me. As if he had the power to. 'Miss—'

No. Stop the time. Stop the endless feeling of being left out. Stop feeling lonely. And _stop crying_.

I wasn't crying. But if the only one in the room who was willing to comfort me turned out to be a detective I did not even like, I certainly would. So I did what I felt like I had to. With my mouth still clenched shut, I turned to Ryuzaki, showed him how upset him was, willing him to notice his actions.

His expression was almost an exact replica of Near's.

And then I was running.

* * *

XxX

I ran outside. Didn't stop. I kept walking, running, crying. I blamed the cold wind burning my eyes, although I knew that could not be the only reason.

I ran until I felt like I couldn't anymore and sat down on the bench of a bus stop. Only to then realise I had no energy to run back. And no money to take the bus. And I was _not_ going to call Ryuzaki for help. I could call Watari, surely, but calling him would be almost the same thing as calling Ryuzaki. So I did not call. I just sat on the bench and looked around me.

I shouldn't have run. I _wanted_ an explanation. Now that we had found Near, we had a bigger team. They were probably talking right now, planning, thinking. And I wasn't there. This time, I had excluded myself.

But all the other times, it had been Ryuzaki.

I knew I wasn't as smart as him, or as Near, for that matter. But why did I still feel like he treated me like a nuisance sometimes? When had I become his Matsuda?

Taking over Watari's job once he got too old? I doubted Ryuzaki would let me. I doubted Ryuzaki even thought I was worthy. Of the job. Of him.

I used my sweater to wipe away some tears, along with some make-up. I wasn't even sure why I was wearing make-up. Why I was trying. My feelings for Ryuzaki would never change. But if Ryuzaki did not change, I wasn't sure I could live like that.

It was already dark. No Ico or Arma to be found and no black car with a friendly Watari who would offer me wise words of comfort. The problem with Watari was that he still stood behind L, no matter what. So his words of comfort were only that. Words.

So I did grab my phone, but I dialled Chief Yagami, secretly hoping he wouldn't answer, because he needed his sleep. His phone wasn't off, but no one picked up. Although I said I hoped he wouldn't answer, I felt kind of desperate when I hung up without leaving a voice mail.

Next option would have been Sanami, but she was currently filming a movie in Spain, so there went that plan. If only I'd kept a key to the apartment. So I called Matsuda. Only to be met with one of the most hilariously awful voice mails ever: ' _Hello! Eh… This is me! Wait. No! It's not me. I am not on the phone right now. How do I reset this? Eh…_ '

'Idiot,' I said into the phone, my voice too weak for the word I was spitting out. 'Why aren't you picking up?' I was starting to sound desperate now, so I hung up. 'The universe hates me,' I whined then, to no one in particular.

It was then that it started to rain. I hoped I would be try on his bus stop in the middle of nowhere, but the small roof was old and full of holes. I didn't try to shelter from the rain, it was no use. I just let myself become cold and lonely and wet. A mess. A true mess. Who wouldn't help such a mess, no matter how annoying one might find that certain person?

With a sigh so deep I felt it in my bones, I dialed a third number.

* * *

XxX

When the black car finally stopped at the side of the road, I was already so drenched that my hair was glued to my face and I could not feel my legs anymore. I had put my hands in the pocket of my sweater, but it was wet and cold now, so my fingers felt like they were about to fall off every second now.

My phone had died. At first I felt worried because this meant that Ryuzaki could not call me. Then I felt numb because Ryuzaki had not called me. And he would not call me. And then I wanted to slap myself for being so dramatic and weak.

Mishima stepped out of his car when I did not stand to approach him and when I looked up, I saw that he wanted to lecture me. But then he looked, _really_ looked, and shut his mouth for a while, the rain slowly soaking him as well.

Then he asked me: 'Can you stand?'

I just looked at him. I knew I probably looked like a trashpanda or something along those lines because of my make-up, but he did not look disgusted or like he wanted to laugh at me.

'Can you stand?' he repeated, harder this time.

I nodded, slowly, and finally moved my numb legs as I tried to stand. I saw Mishima reaching for me with his hands, but then changing his mind about it. I saw he was still wearing the suit he wore at work.

Mishima sighed as he looked at, just standing in front of him. 'Just… get in the car, I think I have a towel in the trunk.'

He did have a towel. And he put it on the sweat next to the driver's seat before guiding me to sit there. Without saying anything, he walked over to his side, sat down and put his seatbelt on. Mine was not on. Not that I did not appreciate safety, but I was unsure about how to move my fingers at this point.

With another sigh, Mishima leaned over me to put my seatbelt on. I saw staring down at him as he did so, but he seemed to completely ignore me. Until he pulled away. Our eyes crossed and I saw something in his that I had never seen, that I had never expected to see.

Pity.

How disgusting.

Mishima started the car and started driving then, not saying anything. Not asking any questions. When he noticed I was trembling, he cranked up the heat of the car, still not speaking. Why was he not speaking? Why did he not ask questions? Why was he being so… nice?

'Thank you,' I said when we had already been driving for a long time.

I saw he was surprised and unsure how to answer. After a while, he said: 'No problem.'

It _almost_ sounded genuine. But not quite. Because, let's face it, for Mishima, it _was_ a problem. He was pretty much the control freak of the Task Force. That was one of the reasons Ryuzaki always said that if any of the Task Force members _was_ Neo Kira, it was probably Mishima. I had joked, said that it could also be Matsuda. Ryuzaki had not really cared much for that joke.

'I will not ask you what happened,' Mishima said then, looking at the road with an intense amount of focus as he spoke, 'because it's none of my business and I do not particularly care. But… you _can_ tell me if you want to. And…' He shrugged then, as if he was about so said something normal. 'If it was something illegal, you should report it.'

I was not quite sure what he was aiming at, but I did not like the guesses I came up with, so I decided to completely ignore his words and just stared out of the window, trying to find a way to make this less awkward as my body started to tingle from being in the cold for so long.

'Can I ask one question, though?' Mishima asked, his voice much more soft now that he wasn't nagging or being an utter ass.

'Hm?' I said, looking at his reflection in the window instead of directly at him.

'Are you alright?' he then asked, surprising me. I thought, surely, it would be about the Death Note. About Kira. About L. But it was a question that a normal person would have asked. A nice person. And that made me think that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't Mishima who was the one acting weird. Perhaps… perhaps it had been me.

'I don't know,' I honestly replied and Mishima thought that was answer enough apparently, because he did not speak again for the remaining of the ride.

* * *

XxX

Mishima his apartment was incredibly small.

Like actually _really_ small. He had this small office with a couch and a desk and a bookcase, you could barely walk in that room. His kitchen was also his dining _and_ living room, but not big enough to be either of those three. It was just a sad square table and something pretending to be a kitchen. The bathroom as about the size of the kitchen table and his room was about as big as the office, so it was _really_ small.

Mishima cleared his throat as I looked around his tiny apartment. 'I will get you a towel,' he said, probably because he expected I wanted a shower. He was right, of course, but it did make the whole situation only more awkward.

The funny thing about the tiny apartment was that I immediately knew I would be sleeping on the couch in his office. There were no other options, there was nothing else. So when he handed me a towel and a really oversized shirt that even he wouldn't fit, and he told me: 'I will make up the bed for you, so you can sleep right after getting out of the shower,' I already knew he was talking about the couch.

So I stepped under his incredibly small shower, did not use any of his shampoo or soap, because the scent reminded me too much of him and I was afraid it would annoy me all night, so I just showered to warm up before pulling my fingers through my hair in an attempt to brush it and walked outside with my wet clothes in my hand and the towel around my head.

Mishima was standing by the kitchen counter, looking about as awkward as I felt. When he saw the wet clothes I was holding, he shot into action, desperate to _do_ something. 'I will put these on the heater, then they will be dry tomorrow.'

I handed him my clothes and he walked over, his movements, so stern and precise, yet tired. He seemed to tired.

'Thank you,' I said again, mostly because I did not know what else to say.

Mishima did not seem to know how to respond to that, so he just said: 'I made the bed in my room, clean pillow case and everything. The heater is on, too, so it should not be too cold. You can go to sleep if you want, I'll finish up some things and sleep on the couch in my office.'

I was surprised. This man had barely nothing and he would give _me_ , a person he hated, give what little he had? 'Are… are you sure?' I asked, not used to kindness displayed in such a way. I always had to look so hard to see Ryuzaki's kindness. Not because it was not there, but because he had an odd way of displaying kindness. This almost… common way of kindness had me stunned.

'Of course,' he replied as he stood at the other side of the kitchen table. 'I can't make a young woman sleep on a crappy couch in my office now, could I?'

'Thank you,' I said again, this time it sounded even more genuine.

Mishima noticed too. His eyes widened. 'No problem,' he said again and this time, it sounded more genuine as well.

There followed an awkward silence that I did not know how to bridge. So I simply forced a smile that was probably even more awkward and said: 'I'm exhausted.'

'Yes, you should sleep,' he said, almost formally.

'Yes,' I agreed.

'Sleep tight,' he responded.

'Thanks, same to you,' I replied.

Only I did not move.

This was so awkward.

Perhaps should have just called Watari when I had the chance. Was Ryuzaki worried about me? Was he not worried at all?

'Well then,' I said as I felt my chest clench at the thought of Ryuzaki. I was already turned around and walking towards his open bedroom door when Mishima spoke again.

'If it's not too much trouble… could you perhaps take public transport to work tomorrow morning? I… I do not want to explain… this. People will…'

'People will have the wrong idea,' I said, knowing that I had no money for public transport. 'I promise you will not have to bring me to work by car.'

I could ask him if I could lend his phone in the morning. I could call Watari and he would pick me up. But Watari would probably ask questions.

And Mishima had not.

'Sleep tight, miss Upson,' he said again, bowing.

I bowed back. 'Thank you,' I said once again, 'you too.' And I meant it. Perhaps I had been wrong. Perhaps Mishima was not my Matsuda at all. Maybe, just maybe, he was my Light.

Which meant that he could be very dangerous and very unhealthy for everything I used to think and believe before.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Was this short? I felt like this was short. It was not meant to be, I promise!**

 **I had** ** _a lot_** **of ideas regarding Mishima, but because one movie with a big plot and a lot of characters is not really enough time to flesh a character out as well as in a long-running manga or anime series, so the character of Mishima kind of falls flat once I put him in new situations. I did my best, though.**

 **I hope you guys liked this chapter, even though not a lot happened regarding the Neo Kira-case. Arma and Ico will be back soon, though, so that will be fun. I really wish to write more Misa, too, but I do not want to overdo her if the plot does not require her. As one of my professor always says: 'If a scene does not end with the characters changed from when they entered the scene, the scene needs to be cut or changed.' That's kind of the deal right now, but with Misa. I hope I make sense. Do I make sense?**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading, sorry for not uploading and don't freak out if I don't update for longer periods than normally. Things happen. Like death and did I say that I friend of mine gave birth to a son, but he was born** ** _way_** **too early, so it's really scary. So yeah. Life is always tricky and scary and unpredictable. But I hope you guys will hang in there with me. Bye for now!**

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 **XxX**

 **Review reply**

 **hyperInsomniac: Wow. It's weird, I have been writing for a while, but I still am speechless when I read things like this. Thank you so much! To hear that people like what I do is what keeps me going every day, every week, every month. So thank you so much! And I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

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	8. Drama

**I'm sorry I have been gone for long so HAPPY 2018 EVERYBODY! A lot of drama's already happened, so this year is not off to a fantastic start, but I must say 2017 did not end that splendid for me, either, so it was not the great Christmas Break I was expecting and then I had a bunch of school stuff, because school wants to kill me. And I am kind of tired. And hungry. Yes, I should eat something.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **XxX**

 **7\. Drama**

If I thought sleeping in Mishima's apartment would be awkward, I really no idea what I was in for the next morning. Mishima's apartment seemed pretty cool and dandy compared to sitting in the car with Chief Yagami after the whole incident.

Mishima had woken me up late, right before leaving for work. Which meant I would be late. Normally, I would've thought that had been a trick, a way of messing with me, but his eyes were still filled with pity when he woke me. I was started to hate the new Mishima more, just because of the pity.

I wish I could tell you that Ryuzaki was overcome with worry and picked me up himself, before I even had the chance to call. But… Mishima had called Chief Yagami. And Yagami was already in his car in front of the apartment.

'I didn't know who else to call,' Mishima had admitted, 'and you had called Chief Yagami already, so it did not take much explaining…'

Mishima had not said much else or asked anything. I had no idea what he was thinking, to be honest, but I appreciated it.

Chief Yagami knew much more, of course, had way more context as to what might have happened. He did not know anything about Near, but he knew kind of what had happened between me and L.

Which made this certain car ride extremely awkward. 'I will not ask you what has happened,' he said, wiggling his nose as to readjust his glasses. 'But you must know that I am here to listen, if you want to talk to a… parental figure, of some sorts.'

I held in a groan and slid a bit back in the seat. Watari would probably have been better than this. 'I can handle it, Chief,' I assured him, still kind of embarrassed.

'Very well,' Yagami agreed. Then after not even a full minute of silence, he said: 'Are you sure? You two did not seem like the… type of people who would get in any sort of fights, let alone—'

'We did not fight,' I said, setting that straight right away. 'I just realised that I couldn't really do it anymore.'

Another moment of silence, but a loaded one. I knew he would not let it go like this. His fatherly instinct had already kicked in long before I even got into his car. 'Do what, anymore?'

I sighed. 'This… one-way thing. He does not explain himself or talk to me at all, really. He rarely lets me in on his plans, his secrets. I felt like… the moment I stopped talking to him, we would cease all conversation, just because I was the only one making any effort at all.'

'Hm,' was all Chief Yagami said, nothing else. As if to say "curious, but I do not know the answer". Well, that made two of us. But I knew as I said the words that they were true. I could not hold this relationship, whatever it was, on my own. I was not going back on my own. Ryuzaki needed to convince me that he was with me not only because I was offering myself, but because he was willing to put the effort in.

And there it came. The shame. How selfish I was during an important case and how selfishly I was making it more difficult for everyone involved. I should keep my relationships out of it. I was the one L communicated through, and that was it.

But he had Near now, hadn't he? He did not need me, he had Near and his own detective.

And there came the pain. Ryuzaki really did not need me much at all anymore. If it was not for my connection with Ico and Arma, I would be of no use. Useless. Useful. It seemed like Ryuzaki thought about me this way, even though I knew that must not be the case. But if that really was not the case, then where was he? Why wasn't he worried, why hadn't he called?

Mishima had charged my phone, but there had been no calls, no messages. I wasn't even worth the effort of a simple text.

Chief Yagami must have noticed the shift in my mood from embarrassed to hurt, because he did not speak again until we reached the police station. When I got out, I noticed Arma, not with Ico, but alone, standing at the other side of the street. She looked at me with a sad expression, but still that weirdly calm air she always seemed to have. Kind of like a caring mother without the ability to feel stressed.

'Chief, can you go on without me, I have to… do something,' I said and somehow he must've put a different meaning to it, because he nodded immediately and let me go.

Crossing the street without really paying attention (I found that the deal with the Shinigami King regarding my life span did make me a bit more brave than I was probably supposed to be) I reached Arma and gave her a frowning glance. 'What's wrong? Everything alright?'

'Time's running out,' she explained. 'I couldn't find you last night.'

I cringed, already my selfishness was taking a toll on others. 'I'm sorry,' I said, without really much else to say. 'Do you have something important?'

'Did L tell you about Neo Kira?' Arma asked.

'Well, depends on what you're talking about? Did something happen?' I asked, ignoring people who walked passed me and looked at me as if I were crazy. Probably because I was literally talking to a wall right now.

'L has estimated together with his small friend that Neo Kira has four of the six Death Notes,' she explained, looking down at me as she hovered in the air.

'And we having the other one in our possession…' I frowned. 'We have to find Neo Kira as quick as possible.' That was always the plan, of course, but I had always secretly hoped that Arma her Death Note would not be in Neo Kira's possession. It seemed like I was about to get used to the reality that Arma's Death Note probably was in his possession and that everything was coming together.

'But… Misa's Death Note. One of those does not even have its powers…' Which made it impossible for Neo Kira to find. So out of the five Death Notes that were still lost, only four of those mattered. 'So Neo Kira must have your Death Note, or you're dead either way,' I said, confirming what Arma already knew.

She looked at me with a sad, but still ever so calm, smile, and nodded. 'And just as I began to enjoy this world,' she added sadly, as if she'd already lost all hope. Before I could say anything else, she vanished.

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XxX

When I walked into the office, they were all gathered around the screen once more, all silent. Concentrating. Well, all except detective Arai, who gave me a big wink and flirty smile. He had managed to make me loathe him even more in less than thirty seconds.

I stood next to Matsuda who, thank god, filled me in on the situation. 'Kira released a media statement,' he whispered, way too loud of it to be called an actual whisper.

I looked at the screen, it was one of those talk-news-thingies. I noticed that it was Sakura TV once more. Why did Sakura TV come up so often? What had those flowers done to deserve such a bad rep?

'…which might be related to Kira,' finished the presenter, his face clearly hiding a great amount of fear. 'Today, a voice message from someone claiming to be Kira was sent to us anonymously. We'll play the unedited version.'

' _Crazy town_ ,' I muttered in English.

The screen became white, the four familiar letters appeared. I was getting so sick of seeing this font on screens and my recent… problems with L did not help that in the slightest. Then, the message begun. I had expected a warped voice, one which I could be able to tell if it was real or fake. Instead, the voice I heard was utter familiar. ' _Dear L_ ,' said the voice of Light Yagami.

The Chief inhaled sharply, Matsuda gasped and all the others when rigid when they noticed the reactions of the people that mattered most.

' _Have you learned nothing? You can't beat Kira. So don't interfere any further. Don't interfere with the creation of the New World. Go on the Daily News Show today on this channel. Reveal your name and face and do exactly as I say. Or there'll be a bloodbath._ '

Detective Arai chuckled. I would've glared at him if I wasn't totally entranced to the voice I was hearing. It did not sound one hundred percent believable, but it did not sound fake either. It _did_ sound like Light, but it did not have to be him. There were tricks. There _had_ to be tricks.

He repeated the specifics once more, then the message was over. Done. Like nothing had happened. Just like that, a familiar situation replayed itself, but this time, we had zero to no options. What could we do if this really was Light? What would happen then? Who would be sacrificed to save the lives of many?

* * *

XxX

I didn't like bailing my job halfway through the day, but I felt like it was justified enough.

Misa seemed to be doing better, if not a bit nervous as she walked towards the table I was sitting at. She did not hug me. She smiled and sat down.

'How are you doing?' I asked. Smiling.

'I'm fine,' she replied. Definitely nervous.

So I decided to start with the easy part of my business. Something I had only thought of while traveling here, when Sanami called me back, sounding worried as ever. Then she told me about a guy she'd been dating, an actor and singer called Ryuuga Hideki. Which made me request suddenly much harder. I did not want to ask her if I could move in with her again, she had offered up so much of her life just to help this relative she barely knew. I could not do it anymore.

And then I realised I had a friend with an apartment that was now sitting there with no one using it.

'Listen, Misa, I wanted to ask you—' I carefully watched her, her nervousness seemed to mix with fear, '—I mean… I have been living with Ryuzaki for a while now, but… Well, how do I explain.., it's kind of complicated, but...'

All nervousness and fear was instantly gone as she immediately seemed to understand. 'Oh my _god_ , did you guys have a fight? No way! I did not think you two were to type to fight!'

Second person to say that to me today. And what was that supposed to _mean_ , anyway?

'Eh… we did,' I said, but it came out like a question. 'And I wanted to… you know, take a break from it all, so I was wondering—'

'Say no more, Olly! Misa has got you covered!' she almost shouted. 'I will contact my agency, they have like security around my apartment and stuff, so they have a key and stuff. You can totally stay in Misa's apartment!'

'Great!' Now I had to consider if that was actually something I'd want to do. And it still felt weird, taking advantage of Misa like this. But I did really save her skin, didn't I? like, many times? So this was totally justified, right?

Who was I kidding, I was a selfish person and I should just hop back to L and focus on the Neo Kira case instead.

'Thank you so much,' I added to my "great" because I did not want to be too rude. Misa responded with something, but I was not really paying attention, because I was thinking of the best way to phrase what I was going to day next.

'I have another question for you, Misa,' I said and I saw how her smile faltered a little, how the nervousness kicked back in. 'If you knew something about the Neo Kira case that I might not know… would you tell me? I promise that whatever your answer, I will not ask you anything else today.'

Misa looked down at the table, pressed her lips together and looked up, determined. Then her mouth fell open and she looked down again, undecided. She repeated this a couple of times before she answered me, while looking down t the table. 'No,' was what she said.

I nodded. It was not much of a clue, but it did tell me something. Misa had been a Kira supporter, yes, but she had also been my friend. At least, I trusted on that. So if she was not telling me while knowing something, it might not have to do with Kira at all.

Perhaps, this was about Light all along.

* * *

XxX

I wished I could say that I was a great scandal that I'd left the Task Force and that everyone was worried when I got back, but that was not the case. Everyone was standing in the conference room, chatting with each other, deep in thought as they watched the screen. I checked the time. It was almost time for "L's television reveal". I had not texted or called him to ask about his plan. He had not informed me neither. Fighting with L really did seem to make me a complete outsider.

'After receiving Kira's message,' the same presenter from this morning said to the camera, 'the commander of the Task Force, L, has responded.'

I heard Chief Yagami scowl at the claim that L was the commander of the Task Force. I said nothing, because I was pretty sure the presenter had a point.

I was standing at the edge of a line of Task Force members, next to Nanase, who was standing next to Mishima.

'Will L appear on TV?' Nanase asked Mishima, watching the screen closely.

'He'd die, he knows better,' Mishima asked, his monotone voice has returned. I never thought I would miss that monotone tune, but it was a lot better than pity.

'But then there'll be a bloodbath!' Uragami countered loudly, despite the fact that he was standing at the other side of the line.

Matsuda, standing in the middle, seemed to be the centre of attention. Not odd. They hadn't noticed me yet and Chief Yagami was securing the Sakura TV studios. Matsuda was the only old Task Force member left to ask about L. Which was exactly what Kuromoto did, turning away from the screen so he could ask: 'What will L do?'

Even without looking I knew Matsuda looked perplexed. 'I… I'm not L.'

This whole conversation would normally be amusing, if it were not for the tension on the room. They'd spoken through the remainder of the presenter's announcement, but stopped talking when he concluded with: 'Here's the unedited message.'

What followed was a face I knew well enough to recognise. I face that should not be there. A face I had not expected to see.

Matsuda took a step forward, grabbed the nearest chair. 'It's not L,' he said.

He was right. It was not L. It was someone no one here knew. No one, except me.

The person on screen was Beyond Birthday.

* * *

XxX

It was a picture I had never seen before.

He stood in the middle of the screen, clearly still, a photograph. His eyes big and reddish brown, his hair a mess. Still, without the special make-up, he did not look much like Ryuzaki at all. Not unless you knew. The way he held his face was similar, but other than that… this was not L. Which made this message all the more confusing.

And then the lips started to move. ' _Hello. I am L._ '

The effects were laughably bad. In that moment, I regretted my own timing. I would have held back for a day or two if I had known this was coming. I wanted to know exactly what Ryuzaki was thinking when he decided that this was a perfectly good idea. Had he lost his mind?

The bad CG went on, only the lips moving, like a bad robot. ' _How have you been, Light? Here I am as you asked of me. I admire your pursuit of justice and a peaceful order, but your methods are completely wrong. Do not waste lives. You're not God. Let's meet and discuss it._ '

'Who is this?' Kuromoto asked.

'It's not L,' Matsuda said once more.

'What's he doing,' I muttered, hard enough for Nanase to finally notice me.

'Olivia!' she exclaimed and I jumped, just a bit.

And then Mishima started his usual complaining. 'What's the big deal here?' he asked me, clearly asking someone else for an explanation.

I crossed my arms, trying to hide. For some magical reason, Mishima had not guessed that yesterday had been about L, he still thought I was in on all his plans. And, for some reason, I really wanted to keep it that way. 'Why would L risk death by going on live TV? At least this guy's already dead,' I responded, nodding towards the screen.

The fake Beyond Birthday continued. ' _Log in from this URL. Your Reaper's name is the password._ '

Mishima did not look back at the screen and neither did I. With Nanase between us, we stared at each other and it seemed like, just like the night before, he suddenly seemed to see me for the first time. As if everything I had been through was suddenly written on my face and he knew every single detail.

'Olivia Upson,' he said slowly, speaking softly, almost whispering.

'What?' I asked, sounding way more defensive than I would have liked.

'We can trace the traffic!' Kuromoto realised only then as he hurried towards the hacker part of the Task Force, away from the conference room. Uragami was following quickly after that, shouting 'to the booth!'. Whether the others followed or not, I was not sure, since Mishima was still holding my gaze. I was starting to feel sorry for Nanase, awkwardly trapped between us two.

It was Detective Arai who broke our staring contest, but only because he put his hand on Mishima's shoulder. 'Shall we go, everyone?' he asked with a smile so innocent that it became insincere and unbelievable.

I took this moment to look around. Everyone had already left. Only me, Detective Arai, Mishima and Nanase remained. Nanase went after Detective Arai, clearly glad to have received a non-awkward way out. Mishima glanced at the door and I saw the conflict in his eyes. _Do I confront Olivia or do I join the Task Force?_

It took about three seconds, but it obsessive side won. Without saying anything else to me, he turned and ran after the others. And despite the fact that I really did not feel like doing so, after a few seconds more, I followed him and ran. Ryuzaki was not going to give me more information. I was an outsider now, just a normal Task Force members. So I was going to have to run to keep up with all the information.

Because my number one source and I had some unsolved problems we needed to work and with no time to work on them. So perhaps I should apologize and pause this fight until a more convenient time. Or I could, just for once, not just stand there and take it. Ryuzaki was not normal. He was L, special. I could not expect him to change for me.

But he could not expect me to always be the only one to change, either.

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 **XxX**

 **I was trying to find a good place to end it, but it felt like the story does not pause very often, so I guess here will have to do for now. Also, I feel like my English is worse when I'm tired, correct me if I'm wrong. That, and bad news about updating. I will actually try to update next weekend, but if I'm not able to, I might be gone for another three weeks. I know, I know! I'm sorry! Things were much easier back in High School, if only I'd known, then. Also, I am getting old! Well…** ** _old,_** **not really. But I was like… fifteen (?) when I started here and I am almost twenty know. Time flies.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for reading and I am so sorry for being a bad updater, I** ** _hate_** **it when others update slowly, so I know how frustrating it can be, but I will try to be better. Also, we are not even an hour into the movie, which is confusing, because it feels like I have been writing this for years now. I think it's because it's a sequel, I don't know. Anyway, I am being chatty again, so I'll stop. Goodbye for now!**

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 **ANOUNCEMENT THINGY**

 **Okay, I will for now reply to people who have asked me to grammar control / be editor or something and that is that I am very honoured that someone would even be willing to put the time in for me! But also that, after this story, I want to revisit my stories in order from old to new myself and rewrite stuff and try to revise the typos and so on, so** ** _then_** **I might go and look for an editor (so the people who are willing to wait, I would love it if you are willing to help me with that!). The thing is, if I am going to correct my stories, I would like to do that from the very beginning, so my first story (this is only my third story, so it's not** ** _that_** **much work) so when that is close to happening, I will let people know so they can tell me if they're interested. So that's that, I will let you guys know, for now, I will finish this story in my broken English. And maybe when I start my fourth story, I'll make sure I have an editor to correct my flawed English and stuff from the beginning. I am just never not socially awkward so I keep forgetting and shying away from it every time I start a new story. Well, this announcement thingy got long, but anyway, I hope you guys understand. Thank you for reading this and until next time!**

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 **REVIEW REPLIES**

 **Aurora: Haha, still love reading your reviews, whether you're signed in or not ;) And FIVE YEARS WHAT! I would die if any author I follow let me wait that long. That's one of the reasons I mostly read finished stories: I can't handle the stress! Anyway, thank you once again for reading and staying with me and good luck with everything! (life is busy, isn't it? I want to breathe sometimes, but it just won't let me) Hugs and until next time! – Sofia**

* * *

 **lunamoon531: I absolutely loved reading your reviews! I was stuck studying and interacting with family, so reading your reviews definitely made all of that a bit more fun. And thank you, my friend is doing better and the baby is doing great, too! And funny that you should mention Allison hitting L, I had actually planned that she would hit him at least once before fleeing, but I couldn't do it at that moment, I felt like it would be a bit too much, you know? And in terms of the timeline… the movie originally takes places 10 years after everything, but honestly, I cannot deal with Allison being (much) older than me, so I would think about three to six months after the closure of the previous story? I am not good with years and stuff, I usually think in terms of months or weeks. Anyway, that's kind of the timeline, I'm sorry if it's kind of confusing (I am often confused by the timeline and the numbers of Death Notes and the names and… I basically get confused a lot). And thank you for enjoying this story! I always feel like I lack some things because my English is not perfect, but it's really nice to hear! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and until next time! –Sofia (ps. Sorry, this reply got way longer than I expected it to be)**

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	9. Distorted Imagery

**And then I was gone for LITERALLY A MONTH WHAT THE HELL! Well, explanation time. First of, I had to go to a film festival for school, which meant movies from 9am 'til 11pm, so that was a blast. And then my dad got fired, so we have been having a situation and I moved, because complicated things, anyway, I still am not done moving all my stuff and it has been hectic and now I have an assignment for school where I have to film a documentary and I literally do not know how to do that, so that's all fun and good and stuff. Anyway, here is a very late chapter, I am sorry.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **8\. Distorted Imagery**

When I reached the booth, everyone was already there, cramming around the computer to see the screen. Of course detective Arai was the one _at_ the computer, though Mishima looked at the screen with hungry eyes. I think it came automatic for the others, to make way for me so that I could see the screen. I wondered how many days with detective Arai it took for that to change.

'It's him!' detective Arai said smugly.

'Trace him!' Mishima said to Nanase

'On it!' she replied dutifully, already fluttering away to another computer.

The chat service appeared on screen, with the Neo Kira starting the conversation: _This is Kira._

Detective Arai immediately started typing, his hand movements seemed alarmingly gleeful. _You must like me!_ he typed.

I knew everyone was frowning without even looking. I frowned, too, but for other reasons. This did not really seem like a L-tactic. But… It seemed like something Near would say. So, he probably had already discussed this with Near and L and knew exactly what he had to do and say…

The reply came. _Don't be arrogant. Kira is God, you can't win._

Detective Arai: _It's just the Shinigami's power._

'Drag it out as long as you can!' Nanase shouted from the other computer.

Detective Arai nodded and started typing again. When Nanase did not get an actual reply, I looked over at her and nodded before looking at the screen to see what Detective Arai had said. _Why don't we switch to voice?_

I took in a sharp breath as no reply came. Silence. I think detective Arai might've stopped breathing.

And then, finally, a response came. _OK._

'Gotcha!' detective Arai exclaimed as other Task Force members started handing him a headset with microphone as Mishima took over de keyboard to turn the audio on.

'On speaker,' he said as the beeping started, telling us it was connecting.

The beeping stopped. Detective Arai seemed almost bored when he said: 'Can you hear me?'

Did he not realise the information he was giving away, the danger he was in? How in the hell did they convince him to put himself in danger like this?

' _Yes,_ ' a warped voice said.

I immediately began analysing, it was something that came naturally to me. It was a strange middle ground, this voice. Which probably meant that it was either a male with a higher voice or a female with a lower voice.

'What the…' Detective Arai said, sounding disappointed.

'Is it him?' Matsuda asked, as if anyone could tell by that one word.

'It's filtered,' Kuromoto said, sounding disappointed as well.

'Or synthesized,' Mishima said at the same time I said, 'manually distorted.'

'Can you analyse anything?' Uragami asked me.

Before I could respond, Nanase stood from her chair and shouted: 'I located him! Metro Tokyo! It's not even five minutes away!'

'We got him!' Kuromoto cheered.

'Surround the area!' Mishima added.

As soon as the Task Force began making plans and getting into gear, running towards the exit with full force, I met Detective Arai's eyes. We barely knew each other, were not friends, nor colleagues, really. But as we looked at each other, I could tell that he thought the same thing I was thinking.

 _It's a trap._

'It's a trap,' Arma said, so suddenly appearing behind me that I jumped. 'I found him.'

' _Him?_ ' I said, not sure who she was aiming at. I felt detective Arai observing me as I spoke, but I cared too much about the lives of these people to bother with explaining, or going to a place more private.

'Ryuk,' she responded. 'I was looking around Misa's apartment, because you said you'd be staying there for a while.'

I had not even realised she'd been there. Following me, apparently. How could I not have noticed?

'So I was there and there was this guy in a white coat and… there was Ryuk, just… hovering behind him, smiling.' She shivered as if the idea of anyone enjoying this situation frightened her. 'I did not want Ryuk seeing me, so I kept my distance, but… This is definitely a trap. The man in the white coat was plotting while grinning.'

'What do you want?' detective Arai asked Neo Kira, probably to avoid suspicion. But his focused remained on me. I wondered if he knew anything about me, about my deal with the Shinigami King. About Arma. Had Ryuzaki told him anything?

' _You know what I want. I want the Death Notes,'_ Neo Kira responded.

'And what if I don't give it to you?' he asked and then he smiled.

He knew. He knew it was a trap. And he was doing nothing to stop it.

I grabbed my phone, and tried calling Chief Yagami, who of course did not pick up his phone, so I immediately resorted to plan D, since I knew he was too stubborn to not answer his phone. 'Mishima,' I said as soon as he picked up.

He, of course, sounded annoyed. ' _Wha—Upson! We are in the middle of an ambush right no—_ '

'Don't go in. It's a trap.'

' _What are you talking abo—_ '

I had no time for this. At all. 'I _know_ you don't trust me, I know, but right now, I need you to trust me anyway. Trust me that I know something you don't. Trust me that I know for sure that this is a trap.'

Neo Kira answered detective Arai's question. ' _Then Tokyo will be piled with corpses. Innocent people will die in the streets._ '

On the other side of the line, Mishima was silent for a while. Then: ' _And what if I don't trust you? What if we are better than you think? What if we manage to catch Neo Kira right now?_ '

'You'll bring everyone in danger, Mishima! Please—'

' _What does your boyfriend have to say about this?_ '

Boyfriend. Had he… He'd managed to figure it out. How? What had given it away? I thought Mishima had been completely ignorant. 'Does it matter? It's a _trap,_ Mishima!'

' _Yeah, right_ ,' he said before hanging up.

And detective Arai was still grinning at me. 'Give me the headset,' I ordered.

He pulled his eyebrows up.

'I need to talk to Nanase, so Matsuda, to _anyone!_ Please!' I begged, almost climbing on his lap to take them from him.

'But you would do that even if I complied wouldn't you?' Arai asked Neo Kira, holding me off with seemingly no effort at all. 'You can't have it,' he replied to both me and Neo Kira.

And then, suddenly, I was rushed backwards in time. To the moment that Matt, no not Matt, Beyond Birthday disguised as Matt, had given me a knowing smile as he said: 'I consider Near worse. L doesn't know how to handle people. Near does, but he likes to behave like he does not.'

'Well, is that bad? If he doesn't like people, isn't that better?' I had responded.

'Yes, it would be, but that's not the point. Near cheats.'

 _Near cheats._ This was not L's doing. This is was L's plan. It was _Near's_.

And for some reason, that really, really frightened me.

I stopped fighting. Detective Arai frowned as he observed me standing up, readjusting my clothes.

And then I turned and started running.

* * *

XxX

It was a good thing that the other employees of the Japanse Task Force knew little about me, only that even the Chief listened to me. So when I ordered one of them to bring me to a condo in Minato Ward, they actually listened to me. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do, but I knew I would be saver there than any of the other Task Force members, mask or no mask.

When we reached the condo, most of the officers were already inside, except the few who were left behind securing the exits. These, too, were officers who did not really know me, so they let me in without much objection.

'Elevator or stairs,' I muttered as I halted in the hallway. 'Which floor?' I asked Arma then, raising my voice just a tiny bit. I had already pressed the button for the elevator just in case.

'Sixteenth, but I think stairs would be quicker,' she replied.

I gave her a tired glance.

'If you run,' she added.

Well, there was proof that I needed to work out more. But I did as she said, running up the stairs like a maniac. By the time I reached the fourth floor, I was already exhausted, but I really could not stop now. _Matsuda,_ I reminded myself, _Matsuda and Chief Yagami, they are both in danger_.

I reached the twelfth floor. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, but kept running anyway. By the time we did reach the sixteenth floor I was so far gone that I hadn't even noticed until Arma said: 'We're here.'

'Which way?' I asked, my breathing so irregular that I was surprised when she understood me and answered: 'Left.'

But before I could turn left in the hallway, someone grabbed me from behind, putting a hand over my mouth and pulled me backwards, back into the staircase, where the figure pressed me against the banisters.

'Ryu—' I said, but my voice was muffled by his hand and my own irregular breathing.

' _What do you think you are doing?!_ ' he asked me, looking more angry than I'd seen him in _years_. He took his hand off my mouth to enable me to speak.

'It's a trap,' I said, still trying to catch my breath.

'I was aware,' he said, still sounding angry. 'Which is why I came here.' He took a step away from me, apparently confident that I would not try to escape. 'It had been our idea, Near's and mine, to use Beyond Birthday. It would hold Neo Kira off as he tried to think of a plan B. I did not know… I had not realised Near would encode the site like that and give orders like that. I never would have instructed anyone to come here.'

Remembering Beyond Birthday's words, I said: 'But Near did not care if he brought so many officers in danger if there was even a small chance of catching Neo Kira.'

'Correct,' Ryuzaki said, not sounding as defeated as I would have expected. 'They do not know my face, so they won't listen to me. And I heard your phone conversation with Mishima, so I already figured that was hopeless.'

'I _knew_ you were still wiring my phone,' I said with a sigh. 'So, what did you do, then? How are we going to save them?'

'I'm not,' Ryuzaki responded.

'I'm sorry, what?' I asked, completely baffled.

'Whatever Neo Kira is planning, it's already too late to stop it. I only came here to save you, since I knew there was a chance you'd be coming.'

'That's… ridiculous. Death Notes cannot even kill me!'

'True as that may be, a gun or knife still can. And who says Neo Kira will not fight dirty?'

'You are honestly telling me that you are going to let those officers die without doing anything at all? What the actual _fuck,_ Ryuzaki!'

Ryuzaki cringed, but did not reply.

'People are going to _die_ today, Ryuzaki. Because of _this!_ '

'Yes,' he admitted, avoiding eye contact. 'But not you.'

I ignored him completely. 'And all because you just decided to work together with Near without consulting me, or Watari or _anyone_! You honestly believe that as long as you do everything yourself, there will be no mistakes, but guess what, Ryuzaki? You are human, too! We are all just bound to make mistakes! Now, go back to your little sweets cave and let me at least Now, go back to your little sweets cave and let me at least _try_ to help the team who was done nothing to deserve abandonment.'

I stepped forward, to the door. Ryuzaki did not stop me. As I started running again, I knew he would not come after me.

'I'm sorry,' Arma said, who had been quiet up until now.

I did not feel like answering.

* * *

XxX

Stop.

Stop everything in this moment. The origami on the tables, the darkness in the rooms. The sad looks on everyone's faces as I entered.

 _Worse_. The look of defeat on Mishima's face, the look that told me I had been right and he partly blamed himself for this. Because I had told him, and he did not listen. Nanase grabbed my hand as I passed her, her look almost pleading. As if to say _look away_. As if to say _run_. But I did not. And her hand slid away from mine as I walked closer and closer to the open door.

I _should_ have ran. I should have stopped. But I kept walking. And walking. Until I saw the two corpses on the small bathroom floor.

And then I started screaming.

* * *

XxX

They had given me a shock blanket. As if that would help. As if I was in shock. The forensics' team as well as the other Task Force officers were quiet, silent, especially around me. They thought my silence, my numbness, came from shock. It was not shock. It was horror. Horror and guilt.

I had stayed by L's side through nearly everything. And the very second that I don't, everything went to hell. Was I blame? Could I have seen what Near had been scheming if I had been there?

Arma told me she was going to look for Ryuk and Neo Kira before exciting and disappearing, clearly not used to this kind of loss and sadness. Ico was nowhere to be found, but I knew she'd rather not be present for anything like this, either. She was more of a happy type. A Ryuk type.

'I'm sorry,' Mishima said on the way back. He had insisted on driving me alone and only we knew why. He did not want to tell the Task Force that I had known and tried to warn him. He did not want to be one of the bad guys. 'I should just have listened to you and I am sorry that I believed following Detective Arai's orders would be a better idea. But… How could I have known? Chief Yagami…' he stopped, the name stuck in his throat.

Mishima was not the bad guy. At this point, no one was. Detective Arai pretended not to know and I had been "in shock" so they did not dare to ask me any questions, or think that I was to blame in any sort of way. But I totally was. This was all my fault.

'It's not your fault,' I told Mishima.

'I'm at least partly guilty,' he countered.

'You're not. Neo Kira had written their names in his note long before you guys even entered that room,' I explained, closing my eyes. I knew L had been right, of course. I'd probably even known it when he explained himself to me, but I dared not admit that there had been nothing I could do to save them.

 _Them_.

They had been the obvious casualties. The names anyone would be able to find. Father of the first Kira and the one who forgot to change his name. Right now, I refused to think their names. I would dream about their faces for the rest of my life, feeling that guilt on my shoulders for as long as I lived. And going back to Misa's apartment right now felt dirty. Almost as dirty as going back to L. I would never be able to look Near in his eyes again, I would never be able to forgive him for this. Beyond had known. He had seen what me and Ryuzaki had not seen. Near had the potential to be great, but he had also the potential to become fatal. I should have seen that. I should have stopped it.

'If anyone's guilty, I am. I was stupid and stubborn and I killed them,' I said as tears started leaking out from my eyes, drippling down the blanket.

Mishima did not speak, did not say anything. And in that strange, loaded, sad silence, we reached something that might have resembled a friendship.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Well, that was sad. I actually ate an entire package of marshmallows while writing this, I think I was trying to eat the sadness away.**

 **I was actually surprised to find that this chapter is rather short for my doing, I thought it would be pretty long already, but that does not appear to be the case. But I promise I will try to update again next week to make up for all the lost time, so hopefully, there will be a new chapter then!**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Review Replies**

 **lunamoon531: PE on a Monday morning? I would literally sue my school if that ever happened to me. And thank you for saying I portrayed her like a human being! I try very hard, but I myself am not very good at being human all the time, so it can be difficult for me. And never worry that reviews are too long, I like reading them, so no worries. Thank you for reading and sorry about the wait!**

 **sibunasiren10: Aww, thank you, and sorry for the long wait… I am indeed a college student and life has not allowed me any breaks. Bad English… Oh well, let's move on. THANK YOU for reviewing, I love being encouraged, I sometimes do need it, since I am so busy and I sometimes lose sight of what I am doing and for what reason. But it's wonderful to know that you're enjoying it! I will try to update more often, I promise, but thank you for your patience and sweet review!**

 **AuroraStargazers: Hahaha, honestly, it's the drama I live for, too. Sometimes I get so lost in Allison's head that I forget that she has strength, too,** ** _she_** **can make her own decisions every once in a while without me pulling the strings. Hope the plot line did not get too dark for you, I was surprised at myself that I even dared to write it… And oh, don't I get being busy! Daily checklists used to be like 1) go to school and that would be it! Now the checklists just get longer and longer and it's like time is slipping from your grasp. I hope you don't stress too much and sleep more, too! I think a lot of people on the internet should sleep more ;) Anyway, thank you and good luck with everything!**

* * *

 **XxX**


	10. Over

**I noticed something odd today. We're like already at the halfway point? Of the movie, at least, but that's so weird! I feel like it has just started and gotten nowhere yet. I am also surprised to find that I am still pretty loyal to the movie, despite all the changes I have made. It's odd. This whole thing is odd. I feel odd.**

 **DISCLAIMER: yup, I checked. Definitely do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine, so yay, I guess. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **9\. Over**

'I… I never told Matsuda my real name,' Nanase said, staring at the table were the classified belongings of the two people we'd lost were laying. 'I had not told the Chief, either, but… Matsuda was my friend. He had a right to know.'

Kuromoto took a step towards her and lay his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it. I was the only one in the room who was sitting, in a corner, wrapped in someone's coat.

'Damn Kira!' Nanase said, her tears slipping from her eyes again. She had only just stopped crying. 'When my brother—'

'Don't,' Mishima said coldly, staring at the table as well.

Everyone looked up to stare at him, but he met no one's glare. Instead of the others, I found myself looking away, to the ground. All our shoes were so clean. But what about our hands. Whose blood did we carry with us, whose blood got stuck on our hands, under our nails?

'We remain anonymous,' Mishima added. I now realised it was not cold. It was monotone because of all the emotions he was trying to keep in, the blood he was trying to hide. 'That is our rule.'

'I know…' Nanase said, her tears already drying again. She had already cried so, so much. Still, her words held something of her stubbornness, her unwillingness to except the situation. The rules.

'Being anonymous… protects you, protects _us_ , during the Death Note investigation,' Kuromoto said softly.

'It can't be helped,' Uragami added.

The silence lasted as we all waited for Nanase to accept the harsh reality. But when she spoke, she still sounded stubborn. Stubborn, but strong. Determined. 'When the Notes are contained and all of this is over,' she said, 'I want to call all of you by your real names.'

Another silence. Another hit for me as I realised that would never happen to me. Not as long as I decided to still help L, be his new Watari. But after all this… I wasn't sure if I could anymore. How many people had I lost since meeting him? How many of it had been his fault? How many had been _mine_?

'We will secure all the Death Notes,' Mishima said, copying Nanase's determination. 'We will put an end to this.'

Detective Arai said down in the chair next to me with a sigh, just as the sound of people came from the hallway, the footsteps getting louder as they approached the meeting room.

Chief Sugawara came in, followed by a horde of police officers, all familiar yet strange faces. 'You failed big time,' he announced, not seeming too bothered by the loss, only by our failure. Every single one of us seemed to cringe as he said that, even detective Arai. 'I will supervise the Death Note investigation from now on. The Task Force is decommissioned.'

'But!' Mishima begun, clearly angry about this.

But there was nothing to say. For our leader was dead.

'It's out of your hands, officers,' Chief Sugawara said, pity in his voice. Pity and shame. For he had failed, too. 'A Death Note can manipulate people. I never used a fake name. So what if one day I blow myself up and kill you all?'

Mishima had this weird habit when he got so angry that he couldn't control his voice. If he got really, _really_ angry, he seemed to be almost smiling. 'That won't happen,' he said, the smile in his voice as well, 'the Death Note rules dictate that deaths are one to one.'

'You, always talking about rules! Who the hell cares?!' Chief Sugawara shouted, filling the empty void that had been hanging around us. For the first time, he seemed genuinely upset. This was the first time he seemed… human. 'Forget the rules! We followed the rules and looked what happened!'

Mishima had nothing to say to that; this man was his superior after all. And he was not wrong. Still, when Chief Sugawara said: 'We will be securing the Death Note,' Mishima got angry once again: 'What the _hell_ does that _mean_?!'

'That's confidential!' Chief Sugawara shouted back. 'You are not part of this case anymore, Mishima.'

That fact seemed to register only now. Mishima his expression fell, as if he himself fell off a building and just realised that there was no way he was going to survive. Even Chief Sugawara could tell that Mishima had been defeated. 'Shut this down,' he said determinedly. As the officers he brought accepted his order and started emptying the office, he left. And we were just standing around our meeting room, watching our hard work being destroyed.

That is, until Mishima kicked a chair. And angrily hung over the table, seeming pissed. I had never seen him this passionate. It was kind of refreshing.

And then, for some reason, I was applauding.

It wasn't the good kind. It was the slow, cynical kind. 'Bravo,' I said, even my voice sounded numb. 'Mishima finally snapped, glad to have seen it at least once.'

He looked straight at me then. The anger still there. And then he stepped towards me, his face determined. He grabbed my sweater and pulled me up, hard and aggressively. 'You!' he said, spitting it out like a swearword.

'Mishima!' Nanase said, a warning in her voice.

'Do it,' I spat back as I read the intention in Mishima's eyes. 'Punch me in the face. Do it. Come on. I know you have been wanting it since the day I came walking in here.'

'Guys…' Kuromoto said.

'I never—' Mishima stopped himself. Then let me go. He had pulled me up so much that I suddenly felt tinier when my feet fully reached the ground again.

Mishima turned away from me, to his computer, ignoring the officers that were clearing the place out completely, like we all had. They seemed to be doing the exact same thing, after all.

I sighed, adjusted my clothes, when the truth came sinking in. Chief Sugawara had fired the task force, yes, but he had not been the one to hire me in the first place. 'Let me say this,' I said, my voice still sounding empty. 'I am not an official Task Force member, they cannot pull me off the case.' I stared at Nanase, still upset, than I looked over at Uragami and Kuromoto, both looking down at the ground. 'I will finish this,' I said, my years with L resonating in my voice. 'I will put an end to this. For Matsuda. For… Soichiro.'

* * *

XxX

When the officers had left, no one told us to leave the building, so I stayed. I tried to rummage through every computer and desk, searching for as much information I could gather. It was at this time that Arma appeared again, her dark eyes sad.

'Are you alright?' she asked me, clearly not worried about that currently.

'As long as I am keeping myself busy, I am fine,' I replied, focused on the computer screen in front of me. 'Have you found him yet?'

'I am afraid not. And now that we know he is, in fact, the current owner of my Note, we will need to agree and confirm something,' she explained, immediately getting down to business.

'About what, exactly?' I asked.

'About how I am to retrieve ownership over my Death Note,' she replied.

I frowned as I realised that yes, indeed, we had not a very clear plan for that. Killing him would be the easiest way, of course, but what if that was not an option? We could hardly force him to give up ownership, if he was anything like Light, he never would. 'Yeah, well, about that…'

'Are you talking to yourself?'

Arma disappeared before I could even stop her. I had been hunched over the screen, too restless to sit down, so I only had to turn to see Mishima standing in the doorway, looking at me with a slight frown on his face. He had changed his outfit, was no longer wearing the one he wore during… the incident. He was now wearing grey sweatpants and a dark blue sweatshirt. And his hair was damp, as if he had showered before coming here.

Which probably meant that he had. Which meant he had left… and came back. For what?

'What are you doing here?' I asked instead of answering his previous question.

Mishima dragged a hand through his hair, wiping it away from his face, and walking inside, clearly _trying_ to look casual while actively failing to do so. 'I… I thought about some things and I think… I think I am with you on this one.'

I must have shown an absolutely baffled expression, because Mishima's lingering frown deepened. 'What?' he asked.

'You said something nice to me,' was my response.

He tilted his head to the side and eyed the screens, probably realising what I had been up to. 'I do that more often than you seemed to realise,' he said, his eyebrows now pulled up, as if he realised he was frowning and wanted to change that habit.

I looked down without answering, knowing he was right. We had always been so focused on disliking each other that we had both been blind for the moments when we were actually sort of nice to each other. 'I am truly sorry, for what it matters,' Mishima said then, approaching until he was only one step away from me. 'You knew them better than any of us. I think you are probably having the hardest time right now.'

He put his hand in his neck, his expression suddenly becoming awkward. 'Also because of everything you have been going through with…' He stopped, closed his mouth. Opened it again, reconsidered. Then added: 'With… you know.'

'I do know,' I agreed, smiling unconvincingly. I wasn't used to it yet. Being nice to Mishima. Not that there was any reason so now. We wouldn't we working together anymore. I needed to contact Ico, come up with a plan. And I needed to decide for myself if I was going to finish this with or without L. As long as Near was there, I was not sure I _could_ do it with L. Ico and Arma… they were the only ones I had. Without them… I would be alone.

Just like Misa was alone without me. Without Light. Maybe she had not been acting weird. Maybe she'd just been lonely.

'Everything okay?' Mishima said when he noticed that I was staring off into space.

A very similar question to the one Arma asked me, just a few minutes ago. So why then, was talking with an anti-social Shinigami easier than talking with Mishima? What made him such an impossible creature to talk to? 'I am perfectly peachy,' I replied in English, because that was not awkward at all.

Lucky enough for me, Mishima knew enough English to understand that statement. Or he just pretended. Whatever it was, he was not going to ask about it and I suddenly wanted to leave very badly. Instead of thinking up an excuse, since I knew he would know my real reason, I just said: 'I will be leaving now.' I took the papers I had collected and my usb drive with me as I headed towards the door.

'Are you in love with him?'

I stopped. Froze. Dropped the papers. Dropped everything. Including my face I had kept in perfect shape until now. I felt red anger, sadness and pain on my face. I felt my eyes watering. I felt too much all at once and it did not seem right. Still, Mishima did not let it go.

Instead, he asked: 'Are you?'

It took a while before I could turn around to face him, I had to get some of my emotions under control first. Still, I knew I was blushing when I asked: 'And what if I was?'

'Well,' Mishima replied awkwardly, clearly not prepared for this response. 'I think you should not be.'

'Because?'

'It's not healthy.'

He had no idea how right he was. The image of Ryuzaki surrounded by sweets popped into my head, but for once, it did not make me smile. I was unsure if I would ever be able to sincerely smile again after all this. All my main expressions just felt… exhausted. Used. Empty.

'I'm sorry,' Mishima said when I did not responded to his last statement. 'I shouldn't have said anything, should I? I just made you uncomfortable.'

'Was that not your intention?' I asked, knowingly awkward and hurtful.

'For once, no,' he replied honestly. 'I have just been… worried about you, lately. That's all.'

I frowned. And was kind of glad I already dropped all of my thing. Because honestly, how else was I supposed to react? 'Worried,' I repeated, even the word sounded strange in this situation.

Mishima nodded.

'About me?' I asked, my voice becoming higher as my confusion got the better of me.

Mishima nodded once again.

' _Why_?' I then asked, sounding more like a damsel from one of those old movies than an actual person. Confusion mixed with exhaustion and a lot of emotions I did not know how to handle, probably. There was no other way to describe the sound that came from my mouth.

I was surprised that Mishima even understood the little word I managed to get out. 'I don't know, I just felt that way,' he said with a shrug.

I should not be _that_ surprised. He had picked me up with his car in the middle of a rainy night, he had seen me at a lot of bad moments the past few days. So, I should not be surprised. And yet I was. And as I stared at him in confusion, I realised there was something else, something _more_. Something incredibly dangerous.

So I immediately closed the drawer that Mishima had somehow managed to open and tried to forget that that drawer even existed. I _had_ to do that. 'So, why did you come back?' I asked again, not sure if I had gotten an answer already.

'At first I came back because I was angry,' he said, his tone once again monotone. 'Then I calmed down and walked in to gather as much information as possible to still continue something similar to an official investigation.' He had been looking at his feet more than at me when he spoke, but now he looked up, facing me. 'And when I saw you I came in because I wanted to help you.'

'With what?' I asked, the need to run away returning.

'You work with L, yes?'

I suppose that was not _wrong,_ but… 'Well, yes,' it sounded more like a question, though.

'But you are in love with him.' He'd said it as if it was a dirty, wrong thing. A mistake that I made.

' _And_ I am in love with him,' I corrected, now sure why I was defending myself. I already knew full well what it meant to be in love with Ryuzaki and honestly, was Mishima wrong that he said it as if it were a stupid, dumb thing?

I wasn't sure anymore.

'But he is not in love with you,' Mishima said, a question hidden in a statement, though the statement was not brought with a lot of confidence. As if he knew he had already lost and still went on fighting anyway.

'Maybe,' I responded with a sigh, not sure why I was actually having this conversation with my most hated co-worker. Probably because I did not know him well and we did now have any sort of relationship to speak of. I was not ruining anything, nor bringing anything in danger by talking to him like this.

And I had not talked to anyone who behaved like a human in what felt like _years_. It seemed like I kept surrounding myself with people so odd they might as well have been aliens. I live on earth, but amongst the aliens. That was what it felt like. The only question was, was I an alien, too, or not? Was I just pretending to be something I am not?

Mishima, all the while, seemed to be stressing over something I said. 'You mean that he _is_ in love with you?' he said, the surprise clearly in his voice, making it higher. I could almost imagine what he sounded like in his teenage years, cracking voice and all.

'Probably,' I answered, still not sure how I was supposed to answer that in a way that felt truthful enough. A simple "yes" or "no" did not fit the way Ryuzaki treated me at all.

Mishima was frowning now and I could almost see the wheels in his head turning and twisting as he was trying to think.

The drawer rumbled. And a smile escaped. 'Don't break your brain, Mishima,' I said, the smile in my voice. And then I caught myself. One of my hands slipped to my mouth, wiping the smile away.

It was only then that Mishima noticed all the papers on the floor. With a sigh, he stepped forward. 'Clumsy,' he said, his old manners shining through.

I knelt down along with him, picking up papers as he was doing it, too. And then it became a match. Before we knew it, we fell back in the old habit of competing. And we were silently fighting for who could pick up the most papers. In my head, I could see it in a television series, or romantic comedy. We would accidently pick up the last piece of paper at the same time and we would look and each other and know that the other had the power to change their life forever.

Only this was not a romantic comedy.

And I was already in love with someone else.

'Can I ask you something?' Mishima asked as he picked up the last pieces of paper, me having retracted my hands seconds before.

'Hm?' I asked, vaguely absent.

'If you had other options, would you consider it?' he asked, again falling back on trying to be casual. He actual managed better this time. Or maybe it was just my imagination.

'What are you talking about?' I asked, feigning innocence.

'Would you consider… me?' he then asked, his eyes meeting mine, our faces close together. My mind flickered back to the romantic comedy and I could picture it so clearly that I eyes hurt. We would work at the Japanese Police Force together. His dedication and my hard work would make us famous. We could not work together, of course, but even complete strangers would know about the legendary couple, the officers who got everything done. We could live in Mishima's tiny apartment, we working in the small living room, he in his own little office. We could get married in the little church Sanami took me to every Christmas and we could move to a safer village were we got kids. They would go to school and never even know all the trauma their mother went through. The misery would come to an end.

But… I did not deserve any of that. Me, who had protected and loved criminals and who had thought and done more than enough bad things… How could I ever deserve to live such a life. How could I ever _want_ to live such a live? I would never have a movie night with Ryuzaki, never see my children going off to school. I would probably be dead before anything like that could happened.

Small little specks of sorrow fell down on the papers in my hand as my shoulders started to tremble. As I realised that there was a part of me, however small it was, that _wanted_ that save and happy life. A part of me, a drawer, that wanted to take Mishima's hand and force the rest of my being into loving him. But that was not falling in love. That was pushing yourself into loving something because it was easier.

'Miss Upson?' Mishima said, clearly surprised by my upset reaction. And then panic came: 'What's going on?'

'What did you do to her?'

My shoulder stilled, my tears seemed to freeze on my face. A shadow from the hallway fell on the floor, the papers, us. Even without that shadow I knew who it was. For there was only one person that smelled like strawberry cake and chocolate sauce and cinnamon cookies.

'N-n-n-nothing!' Mishima sputtered, straightening himself. 'She just… she suddenly…'

A cold hand grabbed my upper arm and pulled me up, against him. My vision was blurry because of the tears, but I could tell that Ryuzaki's face looked like it was made of stone. Mishima seemed to realise only now that he had no idea who was standing in front of him. 'W-wait, but who are you…?'

Ryuzaki looked down at me, then said with an old yet familiar fake accent: 'I am Suzuki, head of the Kira Investigation public information division. And I will be taking miss Upson with me for an emergency meeting, so if you don't mind.' He grabbed the papers from Mishima, and the usb drive that was still laying on the floor. Looked back at Mishima, narrowed his eyes and pulled me with him, all the while I was standing there face flushed and tears in my eyes and Mishima was having a hard time not blinking.

Only when Ryuzaki had put me in the car, Watari behind the wheel, did I manage to blink enough times to clear my head. Anger arrived shortly after. 'How dare y—'

Ryuzaki pulled me against his shoulder, but only so he could keep me still and cover my mouth with his hand to keep it shut. 'To headquarters, Watari,' he ordered, his usual, casual tone had returned.

'Of course, sir,' Watari responded, surprisingly cool and calm considering the circumstances. I thought he would at least be more surprised.

I frowned angrily, completely bend on being difficult all the way through. But then I noticed Ryuzaki's face in the mirror and I realised… he looked everything but calm and casual. He looked… bothered. Like, really bothered. And then I knew that he had not just been asking Mishima what he had done to me. He had _known_. Because he had been there.

And he had heard everything.

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 **XxX**

 **I feel like I have been having phrasing issues for a while now. Also, this chapter took so long! I had planned it out completely and usually this means that it goes quickly, but I still had to spent** ** _a lot_** **of time on this. Maybe it's because I am still a bit tired and also still trying to get over a cold. Also, documentary deadlines are not fun.**

 **Another thing that I want to talk about is love triangles. This may be a bit spoilery, but I did not use Mishima to make a love triangle. I used him to make sure that when Allison chooses L, she chooses him because she wants to, not because there are no other options. A life with L is not normal, so I want her to choose that life while having an open alternative. That was sort of what I was doing with that, but it's up to you whether I succeeded or not (once the story's finished, of course).**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope I will be able to update sooner rather than later, but we'll have to wait and see.**

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 **XxX**

 **REVIEW REPLIES**

 **lunamoon531: Because I put the whole "Near cheats" thing in the previous story, it seemed unfair to just glance over it and not bring that back in some capacity. And whenever I have time, I am on this site a lot, too, so I get what you mean! I am always reading** ** _something_** **if I am not writing or working on school stuff. Thank you for reading once again and have a lovely week! Cheers!**

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	11. Time Bomb

**Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm stressed. Also, I have been gone for a while, sorry about that. I have actually been re-reading some of the chapters from Not a Piece of Cake, because I plan on re-writing that a bit after this is done. And now I am completely lost in this timeline and I need to read up on this. So, I made some stupid decisions and made it more difficult for myself. Yayy?**

 **The stupidest thing is I had most of this chapter already written… in my head. And then I didn't write for a few weeks and then the chapter inside my head was gone. So, f*ck myself, I guess.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I still do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **XxX**

 **10\. Time Bomb**

'Are you angry?'

Ryuzaki was staring in front of him, his thumb against his upper lip, which he usually did when he was thinking. The difference laid in his eyebrows, he almost seemed to be frowning.

He did not answer my question and I felt like that was answer enough, though not at all. I almost felt bad for Watari in the front seat, who probably felt the incredible awkwardness that hung around me and L.

'A car seems to be following us,' Watari then said.

Frowning, I turned around to look at the car. But I only saw a red car with an older woman, who seemed to be loudly singing along to the radio.

Ryuzaki was looking, too, but through mirrors. 'Where?'

'Black Ford Fiesta on the righter lane,' Watari replied, their usual quick communication at work.

I wish I had paid more attention during the lessons about car recognition, but honestly, I didn't, so I decided to just give up. A black car was hard enough to spot in the daylight, at night, I really did not feel up to it if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

'Leave it,' Ryuzaki then said, the anger from earlier returning. 'He can follow us if he wants to.'

I suddenly felt like I did not need to look at the car. I had a feeling I already knew full well who was in it.

So changing the subject suddenly felt like a wise thing to do. 'Did you know Sugawara was going to dismiss all of us?'

Despite my lack of hope, it actually worked. 'I knew it was a possibility.'

'How is Near?' I asked, the cynicism and anger in my voice now, too. Just because I couldn't help it. We were probably going to fight right here and now, with poor Watari having no choice but to listen. Perhaps it was good if he listened. Perhaps he could help and fix the mess this relationship had become, professional and otherwise.

Ryuzaki clearly avoided eye-contact as he spoke. 'I kicked him out. Along with his team, including detective Arai. They will no longer be working with us.'

I turned to look at Ryuzaki, frowning. 'You… kicked him out?'

'I did,' Ryuzaki responded soberly.

' _Why_?'

Ryuzaki looked out the window, into the night. 'I did not agree with his methods.'

'I don't agree with _your_ methods, sometimes,' I said, indirectly asking more information.

Instead, Ryuzaki finally turned to look at me, his expression guarded. 'And you left.'

'So you kicked him out because I left?' I asked, now profoundly lost. Yes, I left, but it had nothing to do with working together with Near. It had been about Ryuzaki always keeping me away, keeping things from me.

'No, it's– Our… cooperation just simply did not work out,' Ryuzaki said. I could not recall, but this seemed like the first time Ryuzaki seemed to be struggling with words surrounding a case.

'And you are not going to elaborate, are you?' I asked, my cynicism creeping back in.

Ryuzaki sighed. A rather deep sigh. 'Not right now, no.'

That answer, accompanied with the sigh, only made me angrier. 'And why not?'

'Because you are very clearly upset and have been through a lot these past several hours,' Ryuzaki responded, as if it was clearly logical and understandable and I was just the idiot who was always left behind.

Instead of acting like a respectful human being, I crossed my arms in a childish attempt to show off my anger.

Ryuzaki did not really react to this, actually, he did not react at all. He just averted his eyes again, possibly looking at the car following us. _I am not his priority_. I did not understand how I could keep forgetting that. Perhaps it was hope, the kind of hope that ruined minds and souls alike.

I had started to believe that most kind of hopes were false.

* * *

XxX

I am not really sure what I was expecting. It was not like I had been gone for that long, so of course nothing would have changed.

Ryuzaki hadn't lied. Near was gone, along with detective Arai. But other than that… everything was the same. Me leaving had changed nothing, accomplished nothing.

As soon as we entered the main room, Ryuzaki seemed to prepare himself for a fight, because he kept his bag turned to me until he was close to his computers. Then he took in a deep, sharp breath and turned to face me.

But I wasn't screaming.

I tried to reach it, to find it, the anger, the shouting, the screaming. But when I saw this, how me not being here changed nothing, I just… became empty. I didn't even know what I had expected, but I knew I had expected _something_. Maybe the chess pieces were not in place, or the bowls of food would not be cleaned, or there would be papers scattered all over the ground.

Nothing.

Like my entire existence was nothing.

It did not seem like Ryuzaki understood why I was silent, it looked more like he was still waiting for the storm to come. And oh, how I _wished_ that I had that storm in me right now, that I could burst. But there was no storm. My fire was out. My flame was dead.

'I can't do this anymore,' I said, voicing a thought I had been having for _weeks_. It was not only aimed at Ryuzaki. It was aimed at Arma, who had put her life in my hands. It was aimed at Near, who kept seeing everything as a game. Who kept _cheating_. It was aimed at Mishima, who was infuriatingly frustrating one moment and nicely frustrating the next. It was aimed at myself, who kept putting myself down. And I always put myself in situations in which I could easily get hurt.

'I _can't,_ Ryuzaki,' I said, looking up at him. I'd only now realised my eyes had sunken to the floor.

Ryuzaki looked at me with a neutral, though slightly pained, expression. And I could tell that he did not understand what I was talking about. Yet he did not ask. As if he knew that if he said the wrong thing now, gave the wrong answer, it would all be over.

I wished I had that same knowledge. 'I just… I _can't_!' I repeated and then I did not stop. 'I am just… following people around constantly, not thinking, not _doing_! I am doing what you ask me to do, and yet I still get hurt. I listened to Chief Yagami and he _died_. He _died_ , Ryuzaki! Arma is putting her life in my hands, _trusting_ me for God knows why, and I am contiuously letting her down by letting my stupid emotions get in the way! And even when I listen to Mishima – Mishima! – _nothing_ works out. What am I doing wrong, Ryuzaki, because this is clearly not working!'

'And you?' Ryuzaki then asked reserved.

'What?'

'What happens if you just listen to yourself, not to others?' Ryuzaki asked, clearly not having an answer himself. Clearly just… improvising.

'When has me listening to myself ever been profitable? Why would I listen to my damn mind when my mind does not even want to listen? Why would I listen to myself when I am surrounded by _smarter_ people, _older_ people?' My storm awoke. Ryuzaki seemed to be pretty good at that. 'Do you think I would listen to others if I could listen to myself? No! Because it freaking _sucks_ to have to listen to others and just swallow their decisions and choices like it does not matter to you. But how can I not? My way never worked, so why not follow others?'

'Because that would be like a prison of your own making,' Ryuzaki said.

'To hell with prison,' I said. 'I still make the decision to listen, right? To hell with how that makes me feel, I have to do what's best for _the world_ and _peace_ and genius L has once again solved a case all on his own, because that is what he is best at.'

'You know that's not true,' Ryuzaki intervened, now a bit more strength in his own voice as well.

'Oh, yeah, because you were so great in involving me in your cases. Tell me, when is it not your first instinct to _not_ tell me something? Do you like it, keeping secrets from me? Do you like not trusting me, even though _you_ were the one keeping me around?' For some reason, I could not seem to stop. I just… kept yelling. 'I bet you regret ever asking me to be here. I bet you just feel guilty that I ended up in this mess. What else is there? I understand that you are not good at acting like a human and treating others as such, but you are an overall decent human being!'

Ryuzaki took a step closer. 'O—'

'Not only that, you seem to me overall decent to everybody else! Watari, you treat well. Hell, even Near gets a better attitude from you than I do!'

'You left,' Ryuzaki stated.

'And Near didn't?! I would like to remind you that it took _years_ – years! – for my patience to run out! I am not asking you to change, Ryuzaki, am I just asking you to explain! Just explain to me what the hell I keep doing wrong! Why does this kind of stuff keep happening to me?!'

Then Ryuzaki crossed the last bit of distance between us, but only to cover my mouth. 'Listen, you are not thinking straight. Nothing is happening to you alone, everyone is in this. Together. Odds are not evenly split, nor is luck. But justice _will_ prevail. That is sadly the only comfort I can give you.'

Did he really think this was about Neo Kira? After everything I said? How was I supposed to communicate with him if he kept this notion that justice was the priority intact? This whole situation, this whole fight. None of it made any difference.

So I licked his hand.

But Ryuzaki did not pull away. But he did ask me: 'Did you just lick my hand?' It was clearly just a question out of curiosity, he was clearly not angry.

Which only frustrated me more, so I stared at him angrily and tried to bite. Something that was pretty hard to do when Ryuzaki held me in some sort of death-grip.

Ryuzaki sighed. 'You do realise that your tongue has been _in my mouth_ , right? Simply licking my hand will not drive me away,' he said before pulling his hand away.

'And you do realise that you rarely acknowledge that fact?' I shot back.

Ryuzaki did not get my remark. 'I'm sorry?'

As I talked I stepped away, towards the table, away from him. 'You, do you ever really acknowledge the fact that we are clearly not just co-workers, or even friends? Do you ever really talk about it? How am I supposed to know what to expect in the future, what our relationship will be, if you refuse to _communicate_ with me? I am not asking you to change, Ryuzaki, really, I'm not, but you have to _communicate_. I can't just be the string that ties us together on my own.'

I was surprised to find Ryuzaki really frowning now. 'Is that what you really think?'

'How can I _not_ think like that?' I asked, so frustrated, but very tired. The storm had come and gone like it was nothing. And I was unsure if I was ever able to feel that storm again, that was how tired I felt.

Ryuzaki stood still, like a statue, thinking in a panic. I frowned slightly, not sure what he was thinking so hard about, but then he suddenly walked over to me and grabbed my face, so unnaturally that I would've laughed had it been a lighter situation. 'Olivia,' he said, then cringed. ' _Allison_ , there is something you need to understand. You… You are my _everything_.'

My frown disappeared. Than reappeared, but probably ten times worse. But this time it was more because I was trying to keep tears from falling. Had Mishima hit me on the head and was I dead? What had I done to hear these words now, after everything that had happened, that had gone wrong?

'You are my everything,' Ryuzaki repeated, like a vow. 'But… You should not be. Because I am still L. Humanity should be my everything. Justice should be my everything. I cannot choose you simply because I want to. I need to be L, first. Everything else second. _You_ , second.'

'I get that,' I said, my voice almost a whisper. This was what I had guessed, yet feared. 'But don't you see how most of what I do in influenced by you? Can't you imagine how it makes me feel when you push my away, my presence away, because you are L?'

'So what do you suggest?' Ryuzaki asked me. 'Do you want to leave?'

I thought about that, while Ryuzaki drew lazy circles over my cheeks with her thumbs. It would be so easy to give in to it, to just move back. But… I just wasn't convinced anything would change if I crawled back now. 'I think…' I said, not sure how to finish the sentence.

'Hm?' Ryuzaki lazily asked.

'I think I need… time,' I finally responded. 'To think, I mean. I think it would be best if we finished this case… apart from each other.'

'Hm. Would you mind telling me why you think that?' Ryuzaki said, not loosening the grip he had on my face.

'I think that I… That we… Uhm. I think we fall into patterns were we forget the other is a human being. I think we need to look at our situation from a distance before we can find a sure way to fix it,' I explained awkwardly.

Ryuzaki seemed to think about it, but I was unsure, he could very well be pretending to be thinking. I knew he wasn't good with all the "human"-stuff. 'Where will you be staying?'

'Ah, Misa already told me I could lend her apartment. I haven't had the chance to receive a key yet, but I have the number of her agent and he has a spare key I'm allowed to use.' As I was speaking, I noticed Ryuzaki seemed to get sad. Not only that, but worried. I felt like I had seen that face a bit too much since the Neo Kira case. I wished there was a way to put an end to it forever. 'But I'll still be your Shinigami-consultant for the Neo Kira-case, so I will be in contact. And I will probably be here during working hours, because that seems like the most convenient thing to do.'

Ryuzaki's face seemed to light up a bit. Not like it was okay now, but definitely better. He let his arms drop, 'Have you heard anything from the Shinigami's as of late?'

Back to business. But now, strangely, I did not care. Maybe we both needed the distraction. 'Ehh, from what I could gather, Ico is either looking for or following Neo Kira or his accomplice and my last conversation with Arma was interrupted by Mishima.'

Should not have mentioned Mishima. Ryuzaki stepped further away. 'Do you think Mishima could be useful to our investigation?'

I frowned. 'Well, yeah, as useful as he can be. He does his homework, that's for sure. I'm pretty certain he is going to continue investigating on his own, anyway. Why do you ask?'

A sigh. 'Because Mishima followed us here. Watari is currently keeping him company in the black and brown kitchen.'

'Pardon?' The idea of Watari and Mishima drinking tea together or something of the kind seemed hilarious to me. 'Why did you let him in?'

'I wanted to ask him to join us,' Ryuzaki said, clearly taking my communication-rant to heart. 'And since you reacted so badly to my decisions before, I thought a warning would be in order.'

'Thank you,' I said, almost dreamingly, about us much touched by this as by his " _you're my everything_ ". Those words would certainly haunt me for the rest of my life, but for now, it seemed to be in the best way possible. 'I assume you do not want me to greet him before leaving, am I right?' I asked, almost teasingly. Secretly hoping he would be jealous.

And he seemed to be, because he shook his head decisively. 'No, I'd rather not. I'll show you out, though. Do you need anything from here? Clothes, food, something?'

Had not thought about that, to be honest. 'Yeah, perhaps a bag of clothes could come in handy,' I admitted, after which Ryuzaki gave me a short smile before escorting me to my old room.

* * *

XxX

Ryuzaki pressed that he wanted Watari to drop me off, but I was fine with taking the subway. When I was alone, I kept waiting for Arma to appear in front of me, but she never did. Maybe Arma had gone looking for Ico. Maybe Ico and Arma were both still looking for Neo Kira.

Like a true stalker, I had googled Misa's apartment before coming, so I knew exactly which apartment was hers. A personal assistant would be waiting by the door with the key. But as I walked towards the apartment complex, a familiar shape hovering in the air caught my attention.

'Huh?' Ico said. 'Hey! What are you doing here?'

I could answer her, simply for the fact that she was hovering over someone. A man dressed in white training bottoms and a dark blue sweater with white jacket. He looked like a wanna-be-gangster, honestly, and his hood was pulled up.

Because I had stopped walking to look at Ico, the boy stopped, too, eyeing me with surprisingly angry eyes.

Lucky enough for me, Ico was as talkative as ever. 'I think he's an accomplice of Neo Kira, that's why I'm following him. So far, he hasn't led me to anyone or anything, not even a Death Note and I haven't seen Ryuk, either, but it's definitely him.'

That information made me staring at him officially suspicious.

I gave him a nod and started walking faster toward the right door to get into the complex. As soon as I got in, out of his sight, I was running. Instead of the stairs, though, I got into the elevator this time, while trying to catch my breath. 'Oh, this is not fun,' I muttered to myself, leaning against the wall.

'Are you alright, miss?' the personal assistant asked me when I reached the right door.

My appearance must indeed not look that great, especially since I was still slightly out of breath, but I smiled nonetheless. 'Yes, of course, just a bit tired, thank you.'

Instead of opening the door for me, however, he handed me the key, said goodbye and left. I was not sure if I should find that rude or not, but it was already getting late and he surely had more important work to do, so I decided to not overthink it.

As I entered the… frankly, mess that was Misa's apartment, I wondered what Ico must've thought when she saw me. Our conversation had been so short, not even a conversation, really. She must've understood though. And we couldn't risk losing the lead, so it was probably better this way. I would tell Arma to look for her next time she showed up.

And then I found myself wondering what Neo Kira's accomplice was doing here, in this neighbourhood, so close to Misa's old apartment. That could not… That couldn't be coincidence, right? Tokyo was so big, what were the odds?

For a J-Pop star, Misa's apartment was fairly small. The kitchen connected to the living room, with a bedroom, a bathroom and a small guest room at the right. When I entered the bedroom, I was surprised to learn that she kept that room pretty neat in comparison to the rest of the apartment. That and she had big windows looking over de street.

With a slightly scared curiosity I stalked over to the window to look down at the street, only to find Ico there, still hovering at the other side of the road, clearly not seeing me. There was, however, someone there, on the other side of the road, we did see me.

It had not been a coincidence. This young man was an accomplice, if not, Neo Kira himself. Because he somehow knew this was Misa's apartment.

And he was staring right at me.

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 **XxX**

 **Ohh, this was a short chapter that took a really long time to write. I was seriously out of it, which it so frustrating! If any character, especially L seemed too OOC, you can blame me being out of it for that. Also, I am currently in the midst of a student group project and it's pretty tiring (and annoying, don't tell my classmates), so it could be that the next update won't be there for a while. Ahh well, I will do my best, I promise. Thank you for reading and until next time!**

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 **XxX**

 **REVIEW REPLIES**

 **lunamoon531: man, seriously, PE SUCKS! I am so happy I'll never have to get out of bed for PE. And thank you for loving it! It's kind of hard to create conflict when Allison always chooses L without much doubt, but I do my best. Without forcing, of course, because then my own OC would become OOC and that's so meta that I don't want to think about it. Anyway, have a great day/evening and I wish you good luck with PE.**

 **XxX**


	12. Do I Know You?

**Uhum. I have been gone for over a month. Yes. I am sorry. I honest to God do not know _how_ that happened, but I had to film, like, five movies, edit some of them, write a few scripts, see old movies, study for tests, go to a few concerts and before I knew it I happened updated in… forever! I am not really angry at myself, but I totally understand I did not have the time, but I'm sorry that I've been gone for so long and without warning, at that! But, here I am! Back and breathing and my heart still beating. Okay. That was cheesy. I'll stop.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I still do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

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 **XxX**

 **11\. Do I Know You?**

Ryuzaki should have been fairly impressed by the fact that Mishima had even thought about bringing a gun. But something about this man made Ryuzaki… not impressed. It was a feeling similar to boredom, only did boredom not have such a clear objective.

'I could ask you not to shoot, but I already know full well that you are not going to.'

'L,' he breathed, stating the obvious.

Ryuzaki turned his chair away from the screen and walked over to the glass table, files of the entire Kira Investigation team were laid out there, both new and old. ' _Ryo Nakagami_ ,' Ryuzaki read from the file he had already seen a couple of times. Out of curiosity. Because of Allison's particular dislike of this young man. 'I must admit, you have done fairly well. So young, yet pretty well informed regarding the Death Notes.'

Ryuzaki looked at his eyes for the first time then and saw that they weren't as determined as the rest of the man seemed to be. As if his whole body was made of stone, but his eyes, his eyes were glass.

Ryuzaki held up a hand. 'May I?'

It took a while for Mishima to register what Ryuzaki was asking. Then he handed Ryuzaki the gun, who lazily threw it across the room into a waste bin.

Immediately, Mishima began to protest. 'What do yo—'

'I want to ask you for your assistance, Mishima,' Ryuzaki interrupted.

Mishima blinked. 'Why?'

'Because you seem to me like a decently sharp human being,' Ryuzaki explain, sticking his hands in his pockets. 'Which also explains why you are here.'

'The site, with the hidden message. _We can end this together._ You can only finish a game if you have the last Death Note.'

'You see? Sharp.' Ryuzaki his eyes fell back to the file as he felt something similar to anger creep under his finger nails. 'Isn't that why you said that to her?'

When Ryuzaki looked up at Mishima, he was still blinking. As if he could blink the words into understanding. 'What?'

'Did you not offer to take my place in her life because you thought I was a traitor?'

'Well… I— No,' he replied, struggling for words. 'Though I do find it highly suspicious.'

The grin on Ryuzaki's face felt fake, even for him. 'But, you see, you are mistaken. I did not program the site. A… colleague of mine did. Who I fired for that little stunt, by the way.'

Mishima did not seem to understand. Or, if he did, he seemed to not believe a word Ryuzaki had said. 'What are you planning?'

'Cooperation, obviously.' Even though it failed miserably the first time he'd tried.

'Show me the Death Note,' Mishima ordered.

Ryuzaki his grin felt real now. 'No, I do not think that I will. It's not mine to show, anyhow.'

Mishima's face fell. And Ryuzaki saw, _saw_ , that he understood. He had been right, this man _was_ sharp. But only if it was about thing that he particularly cared about. Still, he asked: 'What do you mean?'

'I don't believe it matters much,' Ryuzaki said with a shrug, 'since we will not rely on any Death Note to solve the case. So it does not matter whether you see the Death Notes, or whether they are currently in my possession or not. As long as no one is using them to harm others. That is the only thing that matters.'

Mishima just stood there, without a gun, without a plan. Just staring at the greatest detective alive. Ryuzaki wondered, for a short while, about what that must feel like.

Then he got bored, and went on. 'Neo Kira won't still until he has all the Death Notes. We need to lure him with our Notes in order to get his. That's the only way we can secure all six of them.'

Mishima's forehead wrinkled as he frowned. 'But, in order for you to do that… You'll need the Death Note the police has.'

'I'm prepared to… borrow it from them because of the dire situation,' Ryuzaki admitted, though his head hurt thinking about resorting to such a low crime as stealing. 'I plan to do it tomorrow at noon.'

He wanted to shoot him. Ryuzaki could tell. Mishima gave a longing glance to the bin and Ryuzaki just knew that Mishima felt the urge to put his gun against Ryuzaki's head. Maybe not even shoot. Maybe just the fact that he could threaten L, have a little revenge. Maybe Mishima was more like other humans than he cared to admit.

After what felt like hours, Mishima took a ragged breath and said: 'I will trust L.' Then he looked back, his eyes now stone as his face had fallen. 'But I will be there _every step of the way_. Watching you.'

'That's fine,' Ryuzaki agreed as the phone in his pocket vibrated.

'And when are we going to—' Ryuzaki held up one finger to instruct Mishima to be silent and checked it.

Allison had sent a photo, with underneath a cryptic message. _Can you try to find any matches?_

 _I will try. Would you let me know why?_

 _Let's have a meeting tomorrow?_ The question mark in het response confused him. As if she needed to ask him if it was alright. As if he did not _want_ to meet her.

 _10:00,_ Ryuzaki sent, after which he put his phone away. Then he looked back at the young man, who had listened to silent his request remarkably well. Perhaps he really was more useful than Ryuzaki had realised. 'We will meet back here at ten, two hours before the mission. You don't need to bring a gun, I have one for you.' Ryuzaki nodded towards the bin. 'And don't tell anyone about your activities.'

* * *

XxX

I had a few options.

The first one was probably the most impulsive one and also, probably, the most stupid. I could run downstairs and try to catch him right now. I had not brought a gun with me, but maybe I would be able to tackle him or hold him long enough for someone to walk by and call the cops.

The second option was to just look, as to not raise suspicion, and try to describe his face to Ryuzaki when the time came. Probably the safest option, although not the most functional one.

The third option seemed to be a combination of the two previous options. And it was the one I went for. With my phone out of sight, I stared back at the man as I unlocked my phone and zoomed in. Then, when the camera on my phone was fully zoomed in, I pretended to quickly check it.

The moment his face came into view, I clicked.

And not even one second later, he was gone.

Would he find that suspicious? Surely, anyway as cornered as he was would see anything as suspicious.

As if I wasn't already suspicious in his eyes. I was suddenly staying in Misa's apartment. He had been keeping an idea on Misa's apartment.

What did that _mean_?

Misa had been strange when I saw him, clearly hiding something. Did this have anything to do with it? What would I do if I figured out that Misa was actually working with Neo Kira? Ryuzaki was not going to let her go twice, that was easy enough to guess. And I wasn't sure if I wanted her to get away a second time, either. If she really, _really_ , was helping Neo Kira, maybe she was too damaged. Beyond saving. Maybe Ryuzaki had been right from the start.

I shut my eyes and ripped the curtains closed, leaning against the soft fabric with my forehead. I wanted to slam my head through the wall. I had come here to think, not to find a new problem.

With a sigh I looked at the picture. His face was way too hidden to definitely determine who it was, but it was the best thing we had and it was pretty much a full on description of Neo Kira, or at least is accomplice. I sent the photo to Ryuzaki with as little information as possible, since we _were_ currently communicating over the phone and that wasn't always safe, not even for us.

 _Can you try to find any matches?_ I asked, the message along with the photo vague.

His answer came almost immediately. _I will try. Would you let me know why?_

 _"Would"_. Not _"will"_. That was a step forward. _Let's have a meeting tomorrow?_ I replied.

His only response was: _10:00_.

* * *

XxX

I wish I could say I slept amazing in Misa's gigantic bed and that I enjoyed the insanely equipped shower, but it would be a lie. I couldn't fall asleep and it took hours before I finally understood the actual shower. And I didn't even wanted to get _started_ on that kitchen, so I grabbed a coffee and a bagel from a coffeeshop instead.

I could ask Watari to take me to the headquarters, but since I had left way too early, too uncomfortable to stay in that apartment, I decided to take the underground. The large number of people also made me feel a bit less paranoid, since I still felt eyes on me, as if the man from yesterday never left.

Before I could reach the station, something appeared before me, pushing me back into a narrow alleyway. I hated admitting it, but I had nearly forgot about my last conversation with Arma and how we got interrupted. 'Do you have time to talk now?' she asked, an annoyed edge in her voice I had never heard before.

'Yes,' I said, a little breathless from shock. 'Go ahead.'

'My ownership,' she responded. 'I can only regain that if the current owner died. Until then, the note will belong to the human world.'

'I was aware,' I said, feeling myself slump. 'And I am sure that Ico can kill the owner when the time comes.'

'You don't know that,' Arma replied. 'You don't know how many lifespans she will save by doing so. A human needs to kill them. Otherwise it could mean death for Ico.'

And we both knew Ico would never risk her own life for someone else, not matter the reason. 'And the Shinigami King—'

'Will not interfere with the human world outside of the power of death he's been given,' Arma said, as if on auto-pilot.

And I knew then. What she was asking me. What she wanted to me to do. 'You're asking me to commit a murder.'

Arma looked down at the floor, as if she was shamed. I could tell that she wasn't. She was trying to soften the blow. For me. And then she nodded.

She _nodded_.

Because I had made this deal with her. Because it was my responsibility to save her. And because I would have to give up relatively close to nothing.

And I knew, I _knew_ , that any other would be able to accept it. For writing a name down seemed far less like murder than shooting someone through the head would. But just the idea of holding a note with the intent to kill… I felt my stomach twist and turn.

So I pushed the thought away. 'You need to find Ico. Ico has been tailing an accomplice of Neo Kira. Or maybe Neo Kira himself. I ran into her yesterday. I would recommend staying close to either Misa or her apartment. I have a weird feeling she has something to do with it.'

Arma knew Misa, of course, so she nodded, understood. Understood that murder was not something I could mentally deal with right now. Solving the case first. Offering up what was left of my goodness and innocence second.

'And could you check on the other members of the Task Force, see how they're doing? I'm worried about what they will do now that they have been sent home,' I admitted, not looking into those dark shiny eyes now that I knew what those were asking of me. What I needed to do to keep those eyes from seeing.

'I will,' Arma said, her tone light, but heavy with implications. Then, right before she disappeared, she muttered: 'I'm sorry.'

* * *

XxX

'Break in?' I repeated, utterly unsure in what kind of conversation I had landed. Usually, it had been me and Mishima always on the brink of a fight. Now I was just sitting behind a table, generally level headed and those two kept making an argument out of everything.

'Why would you break in to get that Death Note? It's not like Neo Kira _knows_ you don't have it,' I said when Mishima had asked why they could not just _ask_ for the goddamn notebook instead of breaking and entering. 'I'm quite sure everyone wants to be rid of it,' he'd said.

And Ryuzaki had basically laughed in his face.

'What is the problem with breaking in?' I asked when no one answered my previous question, trying to get Mishima to communicate in an effective way, since Ryuzaki was clearly not in the mood for communicating efficiently today.

'I… I could lose my job!' he admitted.

'Well, we need you for the security system,' I said, frowning slightly. Why was his job so damn important all the time?

'I could just take you hostage.'

'Hah?' me and Mishima said at the exact same time and the exact same tone. We both looked at Ryuzaki like he might have turned blue with green dots right there.

'Hostage,' Ryuzaki said simply, as if that would solve everything. 'He can get into the building before me, pretending to grab something or another and I will come in later, pretend to take him hostage and take the Death Note.'

'And police won't do anything, you think?' I asked cynically.

'Well, not if they do not know,' Ryuzaki said with a shrug. 'Since I have a very great hacker who can get into the police camera system and make sure that we are not seen.'

'Well then, why take him hostage at all?' I wondered.

'Because in case someone _does_ see us, he will not have to lose his job. People will know he was framed. For example, cameras outside won't show us entering together and it will show him getting into the car with a worried face,' Ryuzaki looked over at Mishima to make sure he got that instruction.

I sighed. 'Sounds like a lot of problems for a note we do not necessarily need.'

'We do,' Ryuzaki said with gleaming eyes. 'Because that is a place Neo Kira knows, too. And I don't trust the police enough to be content with letting it sit there.'

Well, that made sense. Though I could feel Mishima was once again irritated, probably because Ryuzaki spoke negatively about the police. With a sigh, I stood. I had already briefed everything about my situation. Ryuzaki had given me a lost list of files, people who might potentially be the one I was looking for. Still, it was probably smarter to just wait for news from Ico or Arma. But I didn't. Instead, I said: 'I will go and do something useful. If you two are done bickering, get going. We have no time to waste.'

As I walked out of the main room, I felt their eyes poking in my back. But, for some reason, I did not hate the feeling this time.

* * *

XxX

De-activating cameras was always something that was _supposed_ to be easy, yet, somehow, I had always been bad at it. But the police's headquarters' computer systems were so familiar, that even I could easily get into it. I replayed 10:00 to 11:00, the halls almost completely empty because of the fired Kira Task Force. Which meant I could not see what Ryuzaki and Mishima were doing. Not fighting, hopefully.

The files next to me on the table were a mess and I had already kind of given up. I needed to see Ico again and then _ask_ for his name. I believed she would give it to me, whether it was against the rules or not.

But since Ico was the only Shinigami following him, did that mean that the young man was not Kira? If he owned so many Death Notes, wasn't he supposed to be surrounded by Shinigami? What was that all about?

Or maybe the Shinigami had spotted Ico and were in hiding, just to keep the game going. Just to keep the fun and games for as long as possible.

I started to gain a severe hatred for most Shinigami.

Ryuzaki had told me that one hour was enough, but I felt like maybe it was too short, or maybe too long. If the security was just a tad bit too good they would see that someone had tinkered with it. And then… what _would_ happen? What identity did Ryuzaki have, what would happen if he were to be caught? What would happen to _me_?

If I were to murder someone, just to save Arma's life, even though I was in no danger. Even if Neo Kira was _surrendering_. I still would have to kill Neo Kira, for Arma. Would Ryuzaki arrest me? Would he be able to look me in the eye ever again?

I swallowed hard and tried to distract myself by looking at the wrong camera footage.

'Are you worried?'

Arma was hovering next to me, her black eyes calm, uncaring. Yet her voice was full of kindness. Kindness and worry.

I shook my head, but it was unconvincing.

'You know he has protection. That the Shinigami King maximized his lifespan,' she said softly in an attempt to easy my worry.

'I know,' I admitted, 'but… his maximum lifespan, I don't know what that _is_. Even if I wanted to, even if I _tried_ to check, I can't see it. His is stuck, like mine.'

Arma breathed in deep. 'I thought Ico had taught you how to block it out.'

'She did. But I can't stay away. I _want_ him so be safe and those numbers… I don't want to see them, but I _do_.' Ryuzaki hadn't asked me to look, nor did he ever ask anything much about my Shinigami eyes. Too afraid what it would do to me if I were to use them, I had guessed.

'How is the Task Force?' I asked Arma, my fingers at my temples, trying to massage the worry away.

'Ah, yes, speaking about that—'

Right then, Watari came in. 'I came to inform you that we have some guests,' he said, which made me turn around. He was smiling kindly, the kind of smile I had not seen in a long time.

And it made me frown. 'Guests? What are you talking about?'

Arma spoke before Watari could answer: 'They're here.'

But even though she answered before him, I only understood when Watari said: 'The Task Force.'

And just like that, the elevator opened. And Nanase, Kuromoto and Uragami came in, kind smiles on their faces, but sleepy eyes and a worn out look. 'You guys,' I said, slowly getting up from my chair, staring as if I hadn't seen them in months. It _felt_ like it, though it hadn't even been _days_. 'How did you—' I interrupted myself. And then everyone in the room said the same thing at the same time.

'L.'

* * *

 **XxX**

 **End of the chapter! It's a bit shorter, isn't it? Sorry about that. I will try to update next week, but otherwise, I think I'll be gone again for two/three. Hopefully not a month, though, that's _fairy_ bad, even for me.**

 **Anyway, thank you for reading! Sorry this story takes so long but student life is a bit busier than I expected.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **lunamoon531: running around the school… does not sound fun. My old high school had this thing were every summer we had to run a certain route around the school for an hour and your grade depended on how many laps you did. Yeah, I hated it a _lot_. I hope your French-thingy went well, I am horrible at French, so I'm not of any help at all, haha. And sorry that it took so long, hope you survived school, especially PE. Until next time!**

* * *

 **XxX**


	13. How Did We Miss It

**WAIT HOW LONG WAS I GONE? Honestly, I am not sure, I had like a ton of work to do, but I felt like I would be able to update earlier. Have I been gone for a month? I hope not, that would be terrible. I should just have kept the same "one chapter a week"-mentality that I had during the first story, it felt like giving myself freedom is not working out so good.**

 **Anyway, it is coming to a point where I have to deviate from the movie quite a bit, even though I was kind of doing it already, but I felt like I had something to hold on to and now I just kind of have to swim on my own more and more because of the changes I made before. I hope that there will be no plot holes or anything like that, but please feel free to inform me if there are any, so I can try to fix them. It really has something to do with being gone for too long, too, because I had to read up on my own freaking story. I am so stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, let's get this chapter started!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I still do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also, I am a typo manic, so I would not recommend my stories if you are against those.**

 **WARNING: This chapter includes some adult content. I don't think it goes too far or too adult to warrant an M-rating, but I wanted to warn the younglings nonetheless.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **12\. How Did We Miss It**

I didn't think I was the extremely sentimental type, but I found myself hugging my Task Force and being thankful to L for allowing them into his headquarters, his circle. We both weren't very social, but maybe we both saw that like this, we were losing. And Near wasn't going to be of much help, wherever he was now.

'Where's Mishima?' Nanase asked me, looking around the room.

I felt like a little deer then, trying to convince the bigger ones not to bully me. Not because I thought they would, but because I kind of felt like they should. 'Errhm, he is with L… stealing the Death Note from the police quarters.'

'I beg your pardon?!' Kuromoto said, his eyes wide.

'It seemed to be the only way to secure the Death Notes from neo Kira!' I stuttered, trying to explain fast enough as to not drive them away before I could explain. 'We aren't going to use them of course! We just need them to capture Neo Kira.'

Nanase already seemed to have accepted it, only the two men seemed unsure. 'How, exactly?' Uragami asked.

I frowned. 'What'd you mean?'

'How exactly are we going to use the Death Notes to capture Neo Kira?'

I couldn't help but smile. Because he had said _we_. 'Neo Kira will want to kill Ry—L and therefor he will need to meet L, see his face and, of course, learn his name. He wants the standoff equal to the original Kira and L, like a true copycat. L wants to use that to draw him out, on the pretence of the final battle, with all the Death Notes in place, of course. Then we will come in and save the day.'

'He'll know it's a trap,' Kuromoto said immediately.

'Of course.' I smiled once again. 'But as far as Neo Kira knows, the Task Force is no more. He will count on some sort of L-like trap, he will not be counting on us.'

I had not explained anything well enough; they all looked confused. 'Look, L isn't going to meet up with him. He is going to a location to drop of the Death Notes, but that will likely draw him out, don't you think? He or an accomplice will surely follow L. So some of us stay put at the location with the Death Notes, others will follow L. And we will see how the tale unfolds.'

I saw the doubt in their faces. And I agreed. It was not a great plan. Especially if Neo Kira had the eyes. But Ryuzaki had come up with the plan and if that was the plan he had, it probably was the best plan we got. 'I know it's not the great big masterplan that you were all expecting, but it's the only plan we have. Neo Kira already full well believes that he has won. We can use that against him.'

'We can turn his arrogance into a weapon.'

We all looked at the glass stairs, where, at the top, two familiar faces stood.

Well, two familiar faces to _me_. One of them was completely new for the others.

It was different this time then when Ryuzaki met us the first time, during the first Kira case. We had been cautious and surprised. Nervous. But there hung a sort of judgement on it, as if the Task Force was not only surprised, but confused by his looks.

Nothing of the sort was happening now. They didn't seem confused by his aged, or his looks. Maybe I made the difference. Maybe the way I looked and my age helped them shape a more accurate version in their head.

'Ah, now that you're all here, please call me "Ryuzaki" from now on. For security's sake.' Everyone was still silently staring at him as he walked down the stairs, Mishima following after him like a dog. I was surprised to find Mishima with the suitcase that probably held the note.

After that, it took the others not even ten seconds to completely recover. 'Alright, boss,' Kuromoto said. 'What do you want us to do?'

* * *

XxX

It had gone surprisingly smoothly. Ryuzaki and Mishima hadn't seen anyone, so they didn't feel at risk. Mishima was glad to discover that no one had changed the passwords to the vaults yet, so they could get in without any alarm bells going off.

I could tell Ryuzaki wanted to talk to me, but we were too busy with everything else. He had found no matches to the person and Arma had not found Ico yet. As if she disappeared. Another theory begun to form in the back of my mind, a more terrifying one. What if the one she was trailing _was_ following by Shinigami? And what if they held her hostage now, determined to see this game to the end?

Somewhere during planning and searching, I must have dozed off, because I awoke in my chair to find a completely different scene then when I was awake.

Sometime during the nap I took, Watari had brought sleeping bags. Uragami and Kuromoto were peacefully sleeping, Nanase was still working behind a laptop and softly speaking into her phone, which, surprisingly, Ryuzaki had not taken away. It sounded like she was making excuses to a friend of familiar member, which was odd, since one of the Task Force rules was that you could not have any direct family or close friends.

I found myself scanning the room for Ryuzaki, only to realise that he wasn't there. Watari was, sitting in the corner of the big desk with all the screens, working and probably watching over all of us like the father-figure he was. I could ask him where Ryuzaki was, of course, but I felt like I kind of knew where. Still, when I stood to find him, Watari said to me: 'He is upstairs, in case you were wondering.' The smile on his face was only vaguely tired.

I knew what he meant with 'upstairs'. 'Yeah,' I replied. 'I guessed. Thank you.' I looked around. 'Are you okay looking after them? I'm sure if you just leave food and water they'll be golden.'

Watari's smile wided as he shook his head. 'What kind of host would that make me?'

I found myself grinning as I headed towards the stairs, calling after Watari as I almost ran. 'Um, I don't know. The Ryuzaki-kind?'

Watari chuckled softly at that, a sound that faded once the elevator arrived and I got in, pressing the button for the highest floor the elevator could reach, planning on taking the last few floors up with the stairs, so I could reach the roof, thinking that that was where Ryuzaki was.

Only I was wrong, as I found him at the top of the last stairs, close to the roof, but not quite there.

'Hey,' I said slowly, my awkwardness so loud and clear that I cringed. 'What are you doing?'

'You look better,' he claimed, even though he wasn't looking at me. And he wasn't answering my question.

'No, I don't,' I replied honestly. 'I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages, your food supplies suck and stress is eating away at me.' I bit on my tongue, wondering why I said all this now. As if I was blaming him. I shook my head, shaking the thought away. 'You didn't answer my question.'

A small smile played on his lips. 'I didn't fail to notice,' was his response.

'Well. Are you going to answer it?'

He did not. Instead he said: 'Misa's gone.'

And I did not know how so react to that. It came out of nowhere. And Arma, who was supposed to keep an eye on her, why didn't she come to inform me? The confusion on my face must have been obvious, because Ryuzaki shook his head. 'The facilities does not know yet. She escaped while in isolation. She freaked out in the canteen not too long ago.'

I took a step back, down the stairs, gripping the railing as if my life depended on it. I noticed I was shaking, but I did not care enough to try and get it under control. 'H-h-how do you know all of this?'

Ryuzaki had his knees pulled up, but on the stairs, the position seemed even more unnatural. As if the way he put his hands on his knees and just stared in front of him, not focusing on anything. 'I had… I had someone on her. To follow her actions.'

'You had Misa followed? Since when?'

He blinked a few times before finally looking at me. His face held some confusion, which, in turn, confused me. 'Since you told me she behaved strangely.'

The words echoed through my head like a haunting spell. _Since you told me she behaved strangely_.

That was _weeks_ ago.

Ryuzaki stood then, putting his hands in his pockets. 'I'm sorry. This was still part of the 'not thoroughly communicating with you'-situation. I would have told you if it had come up in conversation.'

I held onto the railing and let myself slid down to the stairs. 'I…. I believe you,' I said and I meant it. I just had no idea what now. 'What do we do know?'

'Nothing,' Ryuzaki responded quickly. 'Someone is watching her so as long as nothing bad or too suspicious is happening, I guess we'll be alright. We can give her some freedom if that's what she wants… if that's what _you_ want.'

The double message was so obvious that I looked up. 'Is that what you think of me? As someone who escaped from you?'

Ryuzaki did not answer, but the way he stood, the way he looked, it told me enough.

'Being with you never felt like a punishment, Ryuzaki,' I said and in the moment I meant it. Even if I had felt like that. It did not feel like a lie. 'I will never regret being by your side.'

'But you still need time,' he said, speaking the words, but clearly not understanding them.

And I was starting to feel like I didn't understand them myself. 'Yes. I have to. Because if I am not going to take time to think about things, I would have to blame myself for putting myself through this all. Again and again. Because in the end, I am guilty of the choices that brought me here and I can not, _will_ not, let that get the better of me. I believe I deserve better than that.'

It was very easy to see that Ryuzaki did not completely understand, but that was fine. I didn't really completely get it either.

I stood. Immediately Ryuzaki seemed on guard, as if he was afraid I might slap him. As if I hadn't stopped doing that long ago. 'Can I hug you?' I asked.

Ryuzaki blinked. I did not get any more of a reaction, so I repeated the question. 'Can I hug you?'

Ryuzaki observed me then, as if he was trying to read my mind, scan the mood. And then he pulled his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms open, not much of an invitation, more an allowance.

I bridged the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him, my hands against his back and my cheek against his chest. And I stayed there, just listening to him breathing and his heart beating.

And then came the guilt. Because I was always pushing and pulling, it seemed. Even though Ryuzaki confused me, he was never really about the pushing and pulling. His problem was communicating and just… basic human instinct. I was much, much worse. And what was even worse, was that Ryuzaki felt like _he_ was the punishment.

 _No,_ I reminded myself, reigning it in before I let my insecurities destroy me. I had needed the time, yes, and Ryuzaki did need to think about my role in his life. We weren't officially broken off, especially since I wasn't sure if we'd ever really been together.

But then came the broken plea, whispered in my ear, and my guilt came rushing back: 'How can I ask you to stay?'

I wasn't sure how he meant that question. And I wasn't sure how to answer it. So I whispered: 'I am not going anywhere.'

I felt his hair tickle my neck when he shook his head, not dismissive, but like he didn't believe me. _Couldn't_ believe me. And the seemed much, much deeper than I could ever cut. 'Ryuzaki,' I then asked, my voice soft, but not a whisper. 'Are you ever going to tell me what happened to your parents?'

Ryuzaki grabbed my shoulders and pushed me off of him, wiping away something he did not want me to see. 'This plan will work, you'll see,' he told me. 'And when all of this is over, we can talk. You know, if we—' He stopped, looked away, starting walking down the stairs.

It took me way too long to finish his unfinished sentence in my head. _And when all of this is over, we can talk. You know, if we survive_.

No. No. I refused.

I ran after him, grabbed his wrist and turned him around. 'Marry me,' I said, my voice loud and clear. I saw the confusion hit, but I spoke before he could. 'When all of this is over. I won't run. I won't… I can help you. But I need to be safe and know that you will never leave me. Then I will stay. So. Promise me you will marry me after this is over. That you believe that there's a chance to do that once this is over.'

It was clear that I had surprised him more than I should have, I saw that he had a difficult time processing whatever it was I told him just now. Like the concept of anyone wanting to marry him seemed absurd to him.

' _Marry me,_ ' I repeated. 'If not directly after this, let's make it a promise for _someday_. Just believe that I _want_ to be by your side forever and treat me that way. And I _promise_ you I won't leave you. That will be my vow.'

'I-I don't-' as Ryuzaki spoke, he sounded breathless. _I had taken his breath away_.

'Marry me,' I said, as if it was the easy answer. I took his head in my hands. 'Marry me,' I said again. 'And never doubt that I would want to marry you.'

'You don't know what you're saying,' he said, 'it's a lot more paperwork than… adopting a dog or faking an ID or—'

I pressed my lips against his open mouth, shut him up before he could think of any more excuses. Even if it never happened, I never thought myself the marrying-type, he needed to know that I could. That I had no problem legally binding myself to him. That I would lose my future the moment he lost his.

I was surprised by the desperation in my actions and in the way he started to kiss me back. Even though we knew our lifespans were maximized, even if we knew we could win, even if we had friends on our side. There was an overwhelming sense of worry and desperation, like bottled of feelings from years and years ago. When he had left me, when he had feared he lost me.

He allowed me to push him against the wall next to the elevator door. I allowed him to slide his hands under my shirt.

He licked my lower lip and I may have moaned, loud enough to undo something in the both of us. With one quick movement he had turned us, put me against the wall as he seemingly tried to get as close to me as he could, while I tried to open my mouth wider and wider, tried to get as much of him inside of me as I could.

We only pulled away so I could pull of his sweater and he helped me with my shirt. My bra. His pants. Until there was nothing there, nothing, no death, no Kira, no Shinigami. Nothing but us two. And I felt something burning inside both of us, a growing believe and trust.

 _We will get through this_. _And we will stay together_.

I allowed this wish to become my truth as I allowed him to take me into his arms and drift away.

* * *

XxX

I awoke lying on the ground at the end of the elevator, lying on Ryuzaki's sweater while my own was draped over me like a blanket. I woke to a soft voice, speaking into the telephone, and only then realised that Ryuzaki was sitting beside me, stroking my hair, his pants already back on. And he did not look at me while he spoke.

'No, I agree… Yes, that would be great, keep the crime scene untouched until we arrive… I am there, and I will bring Nanase with us, too, I think she'll be of help… I know, I know. You couldn't have done anything. Maybe this was where she was meant to end up.'

I stared up at his face, so serious, almost scary. It felt like I had fallen down the stairs instead of lying beneath it and our earlier… activities had nothing to do with that. 'What going on?' I asked, my voice hoarse, as if I'd slept for years.

Ryuzaki looked down, but instead of answering, he looked at me while he spoke into the phone. 'She has woken up. I'll call you when we're on our way… Yes, thank you.' He hung up. And just stared at me with a saddened look that I didn't know how to place. I immediately wanted to blame myself for it, but I couldn't think of a why or a how or—

'What is going on, Ryuzaki?' My voice was high with panic.

'Sshh,' he said, the sadness clear in his voice now. He leaned forward to press a kiss against my cheek. And then used that nearness to softly whisper: 'It's about Misa.'

* * *

XxX

I somehow imagined me and Ryuzaki showering together before work, but that didn't happen. He was out of the shower and back in his clothes before I even got back into the room okay, only because I had to get dressed before taking the elevator downstairs.

Ryuzaki didn't say much about where we were going or why, which gave me some idea as to what was going on. She might have gotten into an accident. Maybe she connected with Neo Kira. We knew he liked to pretend to be the real deal. Maybe, just maybe, something worse happened. But I didn't dare to ask Ryuzaki about that and it didn't seem like he wanted to answer. It seemed like he wanted me to see it for myself.

At first, I thought nothing had changed. But small things here and there made me believe the opposite. When I got out of the shower, Ryuzaki kissed my fingers. When he walked to the car, he held my hand. Only to let it go once Nanase showed up. I wasn't sure why we were taking her with us.

I felt it, though, when we were close. I felt something burning behind my eyes, like a firing alarming me. Ico had taught me how to push it down, but I couldn't help but recognise the burning. The burning that alluded to the power of the Shinigami Realm.

I had somehow expected us to go to Misa's apartment, but when we got out, I saw the apartment complex Matsuda and Yagami had died in, and froze. I wasn't sure I could handle going back in there.

And it turned out I didn't how to. Ryuzaki led me away from the entrance, until a saw the familiar police tent where they hid victims from the sunlight. No, not victims. _Corpses_.

My stomach started to turn around the same time we were close enough to see her.

And then I started running.

She wasn't sitting on the wooding bench, but sitting beside it, her head leaning against the hard surface. Her eyes were open, but sad. Her make-up make a trail of tears that had already dried. And in her leather gloved hand, she held a single piece of paper.

I didn't ask permission as I grabbed it, took it out of her hands. My burning eyes told me enough about where the paper came from and I started sobbing without tears. The date was writing on the top of the page, followed by a single, heart-breaking sentence.

 _Misa Amane dies peacefully in Light Yagami's arms._

I think I may have started screaming.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **This was a chapter. Yeah. I don't have very much else to say (woah, great English…). I knew two things were going to happen in this chapter for certain, since that was in the notes I had for this story, but I hadn't really thought this one out the way I usually do, so I hope it didn't matter too much for the quality or the length, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.**

 **I don't know when I'll be able to update next and I think it's smart not to make any promises, so I won't. But I will try to update soon.**

 **ALSO, the end is nearing, _way_ faster than I thought it would. I would advise anyone who does not want to spoiled at this point to _not_ watch the movie now. If you have already seen it, you know why, but if I haven't, don't plan on it, it might spoil this story a little bit... if that makes sense. Does that make sense?**

 **Anyway, THANK YOU for reading and I hope to see you guys soon. Now I am going to start 13 Reasons Why season 2 and hating myself for watching it because it makes no sense to make a second season, but anyway. ADIEU!**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **sibunasiren10: Ahh, no reason to apologize, life is busy, believe me, I get it. I am sorry I haven't been updating much these last few months! Good to know my chapter still manage to make people happy! And thank you for people so nice and lovely, I wish you all the best, too! (sorry that there's not much Allison and Watari interactions in this chapter, I will work on that! It's always nice to hear feedback) Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing and I wish you good luck with midterms and finals and school and college and everything you are doing.**

* * *

 **XxX**


	14. Light is gone

**First things first: I am sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I thought I could keep a somewhat normal schedule, but that went out the window, so here are some reasons why:**

 **Number 1: I am currently moving. And we are almost done now, but it really takes up all the free time you have.**

 **Number 2: the end of the school year is near and I had to turn in like five million assignments and stuff and it was way more work than I thought so it resulted in a lot more stress than necessary.**

 **Another important thing is that I** ** _always finish stories, n_** **o matter how long it takes. BUT there is something that can literally prevent me from doing so. You see, I live in the Netherlands, and there's this law that the European Union is trying to pass which has something to do with copyright law. Anyway, if that law actually passes, it means that there's a big chance people in Europe will not be able to view or post anything on fanfiction sites etc or even access them at all. So that is awful, but that means that I will not be able to update the story, literally because the government will not let me.**

 **So there's that warning, I will try to warn people beforehand if that's happening, but if I suddenly completely disappear from the face of the earth (and by that I mean... this site), that's why.**

 **So… Sad time over, let's start this chapter!**

 **(I then proceeded to completely forget to actually post this chapter a week ago… wow, I suck…. Anyway, here it is.)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note or any of its original characters or plotlines. But my OC's are mine. Also a typo warning, because I am often too busy or read over them. English is also not my first language, so some mistakes are inescapable.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **13\. Light is gone**

Misa stood tall, despite knowing she was being followed. She didn't necessarily care anymore. She just felt empty.

It was almost time. If he wasn't coming now, it meant he would never come. Maybe he would come for her after?

She smiled. _Idiot_. _He didn't love you._ Doesn't. He doesn't love you. He would never. He was using you and abusing you and he would throw you away the moment he had the chance. She knew this. At least, she thought she knew this. And yet she couldn't bring herself to care enough, to _stop_ caring. She could lie to Olivia, but it never worked. She was in love with Light Yagami, whether he was here or gone.

She was wearing white. She never wore white. It didn't fit her image, and she thought the colour made her look too innocent. But, right now, it seemed to fit her. Like an angle with wings, like she could fly away.

Only four minutes left. And she was just standing there. The people following her weren't even moving. Not stopping her, not catching her so they could bring her back to that awful place were the had to smile and eat and pretend like everything was fine. Because she was Misa Amane and she was lovable and everyone was supposed to love her. Probably. Maybe.

Misa Amane didn't really feel loved. She wasn't sure what that felt like. But at least those men weren't trying to catch her, imprison her in a cell that was both too small to fit her and too big to fill the void inside.

So. Maybe they knew what she was doing. Why she was here. At such a busy street, she didn't think it mattered much.

'Misa Amane.'

Misa breathed in sharply. She would remember that voice. She would, she did. She knew this wasn't the voice she had been waiting for. Not the voice she heard in her dreams, in her nightmares. In her head when she was awake, silently coaxing her into saying things, doing things, that people didn't want her to do.

The people in her prison kept trying to feed her medicine. And the voice kept telling her to spit them out. And when she was friendly, it would tell her they didn't deserve it. _She_ didn't deserve it. Because she failed. She failed her mission, she failed her love. She failed _him_.

So when this voice, not _his_ voice, started to pull her away, she pulled herself free. For there was only one person that she would bend to. Only one person she would want to follow, only one voice she would want to listen to. Forever. 'Light is gone,' she whispered, the realisation hitting her harder than she thought it would. She felt it, her heart, dying a little more. She always thought her family had already destroyed her heart. She thought the love of adoring fans filled it again. She was wrong. She was wrong because her heart was still there. Because she could feel it breaking every second she became more certain that Light was never coming back for her. 'Light no longer exists.' The tears stayed away. She was staring at stones in the street now, unaware of the man looking at her with a frown. Her skin felt like ice, that melted into her skin and turned her blood stiff and cold.

The man just looked at her as she stood frozen. He didn't look angry. Nor did he stop her as she ran away. She did not want to fulfil her destiny, even after everything he had done. But now, it was fine. Because he believed her when she told him Light was gone. And he had already grabbed the notebook in her bag. So he did not feel the need to stop her, or convince her. Nor did he stay to watch how she collapsed in front of the building, holding her arms to her chest in the hope to see her angel again.

She herself looked like the angel, dressed in white, with the morning sun shining down on her lifeless body. She looked like the angel who would come to take you away when you died. But she was not. She was lying on the ground, waiting for her own angel to come, to take her into his arms and finally carry her away to a place she wouldn't feel the empty pain she felt every single day. But her angel never came. And her angel would never come.

The man started to walk away, opened the Death Note. Was happy to find Misa had given him one final present. A small map, with a red dot, leading exactly to where L was. Misa had forgotten everything when she gave up her notebook. She had almost been sane then. But when someone gifted her a new one, one for her alone, she couldn't take it. Her love for Light was her everything and Olivia and L had convinced her that it was better to forfeit it, to put it away. To put the fire that was once again burning in her chest out.

So she wrote the location of L's headquarters. Not for _him,_ but for her angel. A final tear escaped from the corner of her eye as she wished, in her final moments, that her angel would be proud of her.

* * *

XxX

I was sitting in an ambulance that smelled like a gym locker. Like a total idiot. I even had a shock blanket and everything. I would have been insulted if I had not felt so weak and tired and just… angry. Angry but too weak to vent.

It was the first time that I could very easily tell Ryuzaki had a hard time leaving me, I had never been good at catching the signs before. Normally, that would calm me, comfort me, but I didn't have the energy to care. And Ryuzaki had to work of course.

One of the agents trailing Misa had found her right before she met up with a hooded man. And I knew it was the same man I had seen outside her apartment, how could it be anyone else? He had been near her apartment, like he had been looking for her from the start. But the fact that they only met up then made me believe that Misa escaped the hospital herself. Like a fool. But I couldn't really blame her, could I? Did I not want to follow Ryuzaki wherever he went, too?

 _Maybe I just never really understood her_. The thought came and went with the same weak, numb feeling that was already overpowering me.

I knew I needed to speak to Ico. She was following the hooded man. She hadn't told me he was Neo Kira, so perhaps he wasn't, but I assumed he was more important than she thought. He was more important than she had been treating him. And Shimigami could just hide, right? The fact that she hadn't seen any didn't prove anything.

'You look pale.'

I froze and then frowned.

Near climbed inside the van, everyone around us too busy to notice. He was wearing sandals, big ones, feminine ones. I assumed A was to blame for that. 'Which, coming from me, is saying a lot, I presume.'

'That's not a presumption, asshole,' I managed to get out.

He didn't seem phased by it, even though we had been friends before. Like friendship meant nothing to him. Beyond's words once again echoed through my mind. _He cheats_.

Near grabbed a strand of his hair between two fingers and started twisting it as he spoke. 'L is probably going to keep it from you, so I decided to try and make it up to you by telling you in his stead.'

I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to react to that, but I assumed my face gave most of my thoughts away. Keep something from me? _Again_? Then again, I couldn't really trust Near now, could I? 'Telling me what?'

'Misa met up with a man before dying,' Near said, which I already knew. 'She had a Death Note, did you know? Ripped one page out. That man probably gave it to her. And came to take it back.'

I had assumed about the Death Note the moment I saw the paper in her hand, although Ryuzaki hadn't confirmed it. And even though I had already assumed something like this, I wasn't going to believe a single word Near told me as the absolute truth. 'Why would he do that?' I asked despite my doubts.

'Who knows?' Near replied, a shrug that he didn't give was hidden in his voice. He studied the hair in his hand for a while. He seemed bored by it, like he was disappointed that it hadn't surprised him. 'Maybe he got bored. Maybe he does not want to become like Kira after all. Maybe it was Misa Amane. Maybe she changed her mind.'

'I don't believe you,' I admitted.

'And you won't believe me when I say that this man has somehow acquired the location of the headquarters and is waiting outside with a gun and a couple of Death Notes?'

Anger flared. 'You—'

'I didn't. Me and L were already discussing a proper location to lure him to, and headquarters was never the option. We never discussed it. I presume because it cost him a lot of money and L didn't want to lose his come. So no, I didn't tell him. He went there all without my help. Probably to kill L. Maybe he wanted to make it a fair fight. It's not fair having to deal with two of them.' He licked his lower lip with a smile. Even though I still felt that motherly feeling while looking at him, I also felt sick and disgusted by the sight of him now. _He was actually putting him and L on the same level._

'Leave,' I said, my voice cold.

'Are you sure?' he responded, his eyebrows raised.

I looked up for a second, then down. Still cold. But with mercy nonetheless. 'You're still a child, Near. Maybe I will forgive you one day. I actually think that will be rather easy. But, right now, you need to leave me alone. This isn't about you and me.'

'You're right,' Near responded. 'Seeing how Watari and a few other members of your Task Force are inside the headquarters right now, this isn't about just you and me at all.' He jumped out of the van, started to walk away.

My eyes widened, the hairs on my arms stood straight. 'You asshole!'

Before Near could walk away, someone grabbed him. 'Oh, a reunion. I didn't know this was the time to start talking about our… creative differences.'

'Ryuzaki!' I said, almost running and falling out of the van. 'Watari— the Task Force… They— Did you—'

'For the record,' he said, holding up a hand. 'I did not know. Good thing I wired you.' He nodded to my neck.

My hand drifted away. Indeed, the strawberry necklace from so long ago hung around my neck. I had not noticed at all. When had he put it… Oh. _Oh_. Blood rushed to my cheeks when I remembered our… conversation from before. Everything I had pushed away immediately.

We shared a look that held so many secrets that I almost felt like smiling again. 'We need to go,' I then said, determined.

Ryuzaki gave me a grave nod, but answered with a small smile: 'So let's go.'

* * *

XxX

We stole a police car. Ryuzaki didn't like to call it stealing, but it was basically stealing.

'Is it stealing if I fully plan on returning it?'

'Not the point,' had been my response.

Near was quiet. I could tell he did not like it one bit that we put him in the backseat, especially since I decided it was a good idea to handcuff him to the door so that he couldn't leave. I asked if I should call A or something, but he did not feel the need to reply.

'Do you think they are in danger?' I asked Ryuzaki silently, my eyes fixed on the road. Watari had been teaching me how to drive, yes, but I didn't feel all that confident. And my driver's license was terribly fake.

'As long as none of them step outside, they should be fine. I instructed Watari already, they are aware of the situation.' From the mirror I could see Ryuzaki wasn't looking at me either. Not a good sign, I thought. 'The female tried to escape.'

I frowned. 'Nanase? Why?'

Ryuzaki looked at his hands, folded over his pulled up knees. 'I don't know. From what I could gather from Watari, she had seemed rather determined. Angry.'

Near sighed as if he had picked up on something that annoyed him. I gave him a frowning glance. 'Do you have something to say, little man?'

He did not like that nickname one bit. 'Funny,' he said. Then he decided to add: 'I can imagine you guys being parents. I am already feeling sorry for the poor child.'

Ryuzaki snarled, almost inhumane. I frowned. That joke hit a bit too close to home, especially since we hadn't really had time to… talk about it. I hadn't even had the time to fully process it myself, what had happened between us. What I had asked. I almost felt more scared to have a conversation with Ryuzaki about that in the future than the situation I was in now.

Near seemed to take our silence as an invitation. 'What? Did you think I didn't notice? I will have you know that I happen to know Olivia rather well. How she thinks, how she acts. How she react. How she normally smells.'

Ryuzaki put his legs down. Ryuzaki. Put. His. Legs. Down.

And turned around in his chair to fully face Near: 'You will not keep talking. You will _not_ continue this conversation. Understood?'

He almost sounded humane. It was… strange. And it made me smile without wanting to. I pushed the smile down. _Neo Kira, Neo Kira, Neo Kira._

That seemed to work. As did Ryuzaki's little… suggestion. Near folded his arms together and looked out of the window as if he hadn't spoken. Ryuzaki calmed and pulled up his knees again, this time hugging hem with his arms.

'Am I interrupting something?'

'Holy mother of—JESUS!' I had to get to the side of the road and hit the brakes. Arma had appeared in the middle of the car, just hovering in its place. 'What the _hell,_ Arma?!'

Both Ryuzaki and Near were smart enough to stay silent.

'The Death Notes,' she said, cutting straight to the chase. 'A man with all the Death notes. At Headquarters. Ico is there, too. I am sure there are others, but I think they are hiding and I think… I can't sense my Death Note…'

'Okay, okay, calm down, we already know this. We are on the way,' I tried to explain.

'But… You… You know what you need to do… right?' Arma asked, her expression pained.

I had been desperately trying to forget that, actually. 'I know. I will try. No. I will do it. I need to do it.' And Ryuzaki was going to hate me forever because of it. _I am already feeling sorry for the poor child._ Once all of this was over, would Ryuzaki still want to marry me? Would he even be able to stand the sight of me?

'You don't look sure,' Arma said, her voice so soft and kind.

'Well, you look awfully agitated for a Shinigami. I think you'll need a vacation. And then _I'll_ need one, too. A long one. Far away,' I said, trying to distract myself as I pulled back and started driving again.

Her response sent shivers down my spine. 'If things go wrong, you might get that wish granted.'

* * *

XxX

The hooded man stared at the Death Note in his hand, and then at the suitcase that stood on the ground at his feet. The gigantic base he arrived at was nothing he could've imagined. It had been hidden away in the woods, so well. He had not underestimated L's intellect, but he had surely underestimated his wealth.

'Zellogi,' the man said in a monotone voice, studying the notebook as he spoke.

One of the Shinigami hidden in the darkness stepped forward, the smile on his face the only feature that did not look bored. 'What?'

'Who owns this now?' the man wondered, not sounding curious in the slightest.

'You do,' the Shinigami answered. 'Because Misa Amane died.'

The hooded man dropped the note on the ground. 'I don't want it. Take it back.'

The Shinigami couldn't quite follow. 'Why?'

'The more Death Notes I have, the easier it will be to catch me,' the hooded man explained. 'I only need one in order to kill Kira.'

'What?'

Several Shinigami started whispering in the darkness.

The hooded man turned around, spoke to them all. 'You heard me. You have been lying to me. Neo Kira isn't Light. It is all fake. He does not deserve to take Light's place. So I will kill him. And live my life as Light's true successor.' The man turned back to the intimidating building, his smile genuine. 'Give me the Shinigami's eyes. First, I'll kill L, just as Neo Kira instructed. Then, finally, I will meet him. And drive him back into the ground.'

Above the trees somewhere, an innocent looking Shinigami shook her head. 'If this kid isn't Neo Kira, then who is?'

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Seriously, how close are we to the end already! I am just saying now that (obviously) it will not have the same ending as the movie, because I think that ending sucks. I actually have A LOT of problems with the movie, but when I watched it I just… wanted to tell it my way, you know? Anyway, I think I have said all of this before.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **sibunasiren10: You are entirely too sweet! And I had actually written a warning for the scene, but not actually put it in the chapter like an idiot, so as soon as I read your review, I fixed that, so thanks for that! I will try not to stress myself out too much, but I think it's pretty much my identity to be stressed, so we'll see how that goes. Have a lovely weekend and thank you for reading!**

* * *

 **lunamoon531: Naw, it's already to be late with reading the chapter, I have been late with updating them these last couple of… months. And I hope your exams went well! And Misa is** ** _so_** **heart wrenching! I actually spend a long time on the first part of this chapter, because I wanted to give her as much dignity as I could give her, you know? And, the way I saw it, she wrote in a Death Note that he would die in Light's arms, but because he is gone, that is not physically possible, so she just died alone. And yeah… My English can be very awkward from time to time… I should really spell-check better and more often... But thank you for telling me, I will try to make less awkward English mistakes xD Have a great weekend, thank you for reading and good luck with everything you need to do!**


	15. Neo

**This is truly becoming monthly story instead of a weekly one. Wow, bad English alert, anyway, I am sorry. BUT! I AM done moving AND the European Union decided to be smart for once and the law I was talking about is not happening! So woohoo!**

 **I am actually kind of reluctant to write. Not because of vacation or because I don't like to write, but because I am always very bad with endings. They take more time, they make me emotional and I never know how to tie every single knot. Or something. My brain is a bit fried these days and I noticed my English is getting worse because of it…**

 **I actually got very close to finish this chapter on Sunday, but then I was struggling with the ending of this chapter and I felt too tired and I couldn't sort my thoughts out, so decided to finish it Monday morning, hence the strange update… moment? Update… time? Jesus Christ, my English really is getting worse and worse…**

 **Anyway, let's get this party started!**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **14\. Neo**

I could tell Ryuzaki was thinking about something, but he wouldn't speak. Arma had disappeared ahead of us and Near was sulking, staring out the window with his arms as crossed as he could while being cuffed to the car door.

I truly think I was slowly turning in him to my enemy.

Not that I wanted to. Not that I felt the strange urge to hug him and keep him safe. Not that I wish I could shake him until I understood what was going on in that strange brain of his. That was another difference, I had noticed. Ryuzaki, although hard to figure out, wasn't impossible. Because he always followed a certain logic and when he didn't, it was because of people he held dear. But Near… Near didn't hold anyone dear. Nor did he seem like he followed a particular logic. It seemed like he had al different ways of thinking and he switched between them whenever he wanted to, whatever he needed to win. That was a difference. Ryuzaki had a set way of thinking, a set way of principals and morals and logic. It didn't see like Near had any of that, his way of thinking was like water, streaming every which way until it got somewhere.

Maybe I had been misunderstanding Beyond Birthday all this time. Maybe that was what he'd meant when he told me Near cheated. That would make sense, but it would also mean that I had given those words to much power. Power over Near, power that it didn't deserve to have. Still, Near his behaviour now seemed more like teenage angst. So, I probably would forgive him. _Will_ forgive him, someday. But I thought about what Ryuzaki had said before and he was right. This wasn't the time for a little family reunion.

Nor was it the time to be thinking about any of this. Right now, I had to think about how to get hold of a Death Note. I didn't think shooting Neo Kira would be something I could do, even trained officers only hit their targets at the intended spot twenty percent of the time. Also, the thought of shooting a person made me not only sick, but disgusted. The Death Notes did, too, for course, but I could understand the trap behind it. It was only writing something down. It seemed to natural, so normal. Shooting someone was something you could never shake, but writing someone's name? That was way easier to rationalize. To forget. Take a person just too curious and they would write. And then… well, who knew what happened once you started? Maybe it was addicting. Maybe it was a curse. And maybe, just maybe, it was all just a choice. But I couldn't believe that. Not after seeing Light. Like he was driven mad. And Misa never had any sort of murder or suicide tendencies before she gained – or re-gained – access to a Death Note.

'You're frowning,' Ryuzaki said, stating a fact, but also silently posing a question.

'I am concerned,' I admitted, though I would never exactly tell him why.

Ryuzaki put the nail of his thumb between his teeth. 'We are protected, you know that.'

If we weren't in a hurry, I would have pushed the brakes. 'You _know_ that's not how it works, you _know_ it! And even then, it's not an excuse! What if your time runs out today? We'll never know! And do you think I care about my godforsaken lifespan if you are not there? You began taking risks because I gave you a way out. I would blame myself even if you discredit everything I say right now.'

But he didn't. Instead, he looked down. 'You are planning on killing Neo Kira, aren't you?'

That leap was so big that I had no idea where we stood right now. 'What are you talking about?' I said, the question a bigger lie than anything else.

'Arma her Death Note can only be returned to her if the owner is dead. At least, that's what I predicted. She cannot kill the owner, she does not have a Death Note. Ico would never risk longing a lifespan by killing someone like him and dying herself. The only way out, is you.'

He was right, of course. Sharp as always. He probably already figured this out long ago. And I had no reply to give. No response. That seemed to unsettle him, just a bit. Near straightened himself a bit in the backseat, listening with a face full of childlike curiosity.

Ryuzaki his dark eyes were whirling like dark pools of ink. 'She has nothing, she hold nothing. She cannot do anything if you refuse. She _will_ not do anything if your refuse.'

'She will die,' I said softly.

'That's not your fault,' both Ryuzaki and Near argued with the same indifferent tone.

How could I explain to these geniuses that the way they thought about such things wasn't universal? 'You didn't feel guilty when Lind L. Tailor died, right?' I asked L, not Ryuzaki. I asked the detective L.

'He was already going to die. He had a death sentence.'

'Yes. But you changed the conditions, the timing. _You_ did that. So even if you are not responsible for his death, you are responsible for changing the way he died. Where he died. When. And how. There are people who will feel guilty for things like that.' I wasn't sure whether I was that person or not. But it was something to think about.

Ryuzaki did not seem to agree. 'That sort of thing does not matter. You die with what you have done in your life. My involvement had nothing to die with it. His own deeds brought him there.'

I wasn't even sure why I thought having this conversation would be helpful. 'Forget it, Ryuzaki, I already made a deal. The Shinigami King will only listen if we assist. We _have_ to find those Death Notes and return them to the realm. Do you truly think that will work if Neo Kira lives?'

Ryuzaki looked sad, but also thoughtful. 'I actually should say I have been holding back a theory of mine,' he then said, his voice calm.

'What?'

'Well, who Kira is. Since I wasn't certain, I had decided to keep it for myself. A tendency you possess as well,' he added when he saw I was getting upset. Then he went on: 'I think your opinion might change when you hear my theory.'

* * *

XxX

He had put them in his suitcase. All the Death Notes. Except one. One was hidden under his bullet proof vest. One, he still owned.

He straightened himself and grabbed something from his pocket. A small piece of paper and a pen. He smiled. It was all about to begin. 'I can't see Neo Kira's lifespan, can I?' he asked no Shinigami in particular.

Zellogi decided to be the one to answer. 'As long as Neo Kira owns a Death Note, you will not be able to see his lifespan.'

A frown played on the young man's face. 'Are you telling me Neo Kira does not own a Death Note at this point in time?'

None of the Shinigami felt inclined to answer.

Somewhere above the trees, Ico was playing with an apple, clearly bored and annoyed. Arma slowly doomed up behind her, watching the scene below play out. They both said nothing. Both felt this strange feeling, so familiar. The feeling of wanted to run away, of not wanting to be involved with humans.

Ico sighed and took a bite of the apple. Then frowned. She started to develop a severe hatred of the fruit.

When Arma spoke, it was that strange light tone that was impossible to understand. 'I think I might die soon,' was what she said, the words seeming so normal, so easy.

Yet Ico's frown only deepened. 'What got your hopes all down and droopy?'

Arma smiled that vague smile she always seemed to be smiling. Ico had no way of understanding. 'I don't necessarily think my hopes are down nor droopy.'

Ico wanted to open her mouth to complain, but was stopped by a female voice shooting through the woods. 'Neo Kira! I know you're out there! Come out! I dare you!'

Ico and Arma exchanged a glance. 'That's one of the co-workers, isn't it?' Arma wondered out loud.

Instead of wondering or guessing, Ico looked down. Floating numbers and characters were easier to read from a distance then one would expect. Maybe that was a Shinigami's special ability? ' _Ayana_ Shirato,' she read out loud. 'Hm, I don't know. That does not _sound_ familiar.'

From down below, the female kept shouting: 'I know you are here! You don't need to hide! Come out and face me, you coward!'

'You are kind of stupid,' Arma mused, clearly no insult intended. That did not stop Ico from feeling insulted anyway, but Arma clearly wasn't trying to insult her fellow Shinigami, only stating the facts. 'The Task Force all use fake names. She is in the team. _Sho Nanase_ I believe was her fake name.'

Ico looked at Arma, her eyebrows rising. 'Why do you even _know_ that?' she asked, insult clearly intended.

Arma did not take the insult. Nor did she seem to hear it. 'She seems angry, doesn't she?'

Ico crossed her arms. 'Well, she'll die at this point, if that boy gets the chance to see her name and write it down…'

'Nanase!' a voice shouted, familiar to both the Shinigami's.

They looked at each other one more time before heading to the playing ground of the final battle. And just like the Shinigami already down there, they felt curious and fascinated. They wanted to see the end. After all, humans were quite interesting.

* * *

XxX

I parked the car in the middle of the road and got out before anyone could stop me, leaving Near handcuffed to the door.

Nanase's shouts had been so loud, she couldn't have gone far. She had just escaped when Watari had called.

'Nanase!' I screamed, my voice high and raspy because of fear and worry. I was running towards the back of the building, not even heading towards the entrance as agreed with Ryuzaki earlier in the car.

Instead of Nanase, two familiar figures greeted me. 'Hey, little girl!' Ico said, clearly happy to see me. 'Long time no see!'

'Where's Nanase?' I asked them, hoping they knew her fake name, or at least had seen a female running through the woods and put two and two together.

'Somewhere out there,' Ico responded, almost dismissively. As if it was not important. As if she couldn't care less.

She probably couldn't, anyway. And I had no reason to hold that against her.

'Is he out there? Is she in danger?' I asked, hearing footsteps behind me and guessing that was Ryuzaki.

The lack of answer from either one send chills down my spine. 'Don't tell me he—' I cut myself off. It was easy enough to guess this Kira must've the Shinigami eyes. 'NANASE!'

I was running again and no one was answering me. Ryuzaki seemed to follow, but he wasn't shouting. He wasn't saying much of anything. He was just following me around. I wondered how annoyed Near was that we'd just left him there. I wonder if Watari had some spare keys for the cuffs I'd used, or some trick to open them. The keys were still in the pocket of my jeans.

I was working up another shout when I spotted her, the words stuck in my throat. I was so relieved I almost started crying as I ran towards her, grabbing her shoulders. 'Nanase! Didn't you hear me? I was worried sick! Do you have any idea how dangero—'

'He killed my brother,' she said, her voice icily, cold. Not like Nanase at all. 'Neo Kira killed my brother three months before his planned releasement.'

I wasn't sure what to say in response to that. I wasn't sure what to _think_. My mind went to all kinds of harrowing thoughts and I was wondering what he had done. Even Neo Kira did not kill that much pasty criminals. They were treaters, famous thieves, kidnappers, murderers.

Murderers.

I shook the thought away. 'And you think dying here will change that?'

Nanase shook her head. 'Of course not.' She raised her gun. 'But killing Neo Kira will at least avenge him.'

She wasn't running, but walking fast enough to an unknown target that I had to run to keep up with her. As I did, while trying to keep eye contact with her, I finally saw Ryuzaki in my field of vision, his phone at his hand as he seemed busy, almost stressed.

'Listen to me, Nanase, it will change nothing, he has the eyes, Neo Kira has the Shinigami eyes! Don't you understand, Neo Kira will kill you the moment he—'

But my words had no meaning. Because my words came way too late. Nanase froze. The gun fell from her hand first. Then she started shaking, and something seemed to come out of her mouth.

 _NO!_ The word was a soundless shout that felt like it would rip me apart as I grabbed Nanase and tried to keep her there, with me. But with the way she had been talking to me… she was already gone. And I couldn't fine her. Her eyes went glassy, dead, before I could even mutter another word, before I could apologize. Before I could learn her real name. Before she could learn mine.

What was worse was that I didn't try because of the fact that she was dead. Fear and paranoia stripped me bear and the tears just came as if I left the tap open. As if it was always just streaming unless I used my flawed strength to turn the tap off.

'Nanase,' I whispered softly, the fear setting in more and more with every passing second. With every passing thought. _I was holding a dead body in my arms_.

And then other footsteps rang in my ears. And the man stepped out of the shadows. ' _Neo Kira will kill you the moment he_ — What? The moment he sees you? Or perhaps, the moment he can see your name and numbers going down through the trees?'

The man smiled and flung with his Death Note as if it weighed nothing, meant nothing. The fear turned my stomach into cold stone. I heard Ryuzaki behind me holding his breathe, though I was not sure why.

'In case you were aiming for the last one, you were partly right, I suppose,' he said, stepping closer like a curious cat would step closer to a strange bowl of food. He wanted it, but he also did not want to be poisoned, or eat it if it tasted bad.

I stepped away so quickly that Nanase fell to the ground. The man, so young, I should probably call it a "boy" looked at her with fake remorse, but genuine amusement. His eyes seemed to sparkle. 'Though no matter what you say, there is one flaw in that sentence,' he went on, looking at Nanase as he spoke to me.

When he did look up, his eyes were dark pools of mystery and murder. 'I am not Neo Kira. So, Allison Severs. May I ask… are _you_ Neo Kira?'

 _P-Pardon?!_ 'Of course I am not!' He was Neo Kira, wasn't he? He could not _not_ be Neo Kira, right? Had we not already come to this conclusion.

Ryuzaki came closer. When he passed me, I noticed he had put his sweater up over his nose, leaving only his eyes and forehead full of hair visible. It seemed like a logical step when facing Kira, but it looked rather ridiculous. 'Are you suggesting you don't know who Neo Kira is?'

The boy did not respond.

Ryuzaki narrowed his eyes, clearly took the silence as a "yes". 'How interesting… even though you are his ally.'

'Oh, my god! Nanase!'

The Task Force came rushing in, all wearing black masks. Watari and Near were behind and – to my surprise – A as well. She cut her hair and she looked slightly disorientated, as if she had just gotten of off an airplane after a long flight.

The three men remaining in the Task Force all crowded around Nanase. Mishima went as far as to check her pulse, only to check what everyone already knew. Nanase was dead. Perhaps not because of us, but at least because we could not protect her from herself and her poisonous thoughts.

The man, _not_ Neo Kira, despite appearances, observed us with curious eyes. I just waited for him to speak and Ryuzaki seemed to do the exact same thing.

'Interesting…' he finally said, staring at both me and Ryuzaki while completely ignoring the entire scene happening in front of him. 'You both have strange timelines… But I don't think either of you is Neo Kira…'

He looked around, looking for Shinigami. Only then did I see them, far behind him, hidden within the trees. Shinigami. All different, all strange. All scary. Ryuk and Rem had been scary, but also vaguely similar and they both got less threatening real quick. Ico looked scarier than either of them, but her personality quickly dismissed any fear. Arma was more hauntingly pretty to look at than she was scary.

Most of these Shinigami, trapped in the darkness, almost out of sight, looked like completely different things. Like a different species, like monsters. And even though they did this probably for their own entertainment, most of them did not seem to be smiling. Not the ever present smile Ryuk had, nor the vaguely upbeat smile that Ico normally wore.

'Holy mother of all things— _Christ_ ,' I said, my voice barely a whisper.

Ryuzaki walked closer, standing next to me, looking at the same spectacle I was, but with completely different eyes. 'Since you are not Neo Kira,' Ryuzaki said, his voice loud and clear.

The other members of the Task Force finally looked up from Nanase, who I couldn't stand to look at right now. Kuromoto even looked up with tears in his eyes. And Mishima looked ready to kill someone.

Ryuzaki continued. 'Since you're not Neo Kira, I think it would be best to hand those Death Note over to us.'

 _What a stupid thing to say,_ was my first thought, but Ryuzaki looked so determined, even though his face was hidden. I then realised this wasn't an actual request, he wanted to hear what this young man was after. _If Ryuzaki gave away what it was he wanted, the young man could name the price._

And he did. 'Assuming by your name, I will make a guess an say you are L,' he said and then I was he held a gun behind his back and he was fidgeting with the trigger, even though it wasn't aimed. 'Which means you probably have all sorts of theories on who Neo Kira might be.'

He raised the pistol, but to the crowd, not towards anyone in particular. Because he did not know us and did not know who he had to hurt to get L to cooperate. Light had known. He had known full well what he'd have to do.

'You want me to point a finger?' Ryuzaki asked, his eyes dangerous.

'I want you to tell me who Neo Kira is,' was the response.

I was reminded of myself, how I used to keep theories hidden and stocked away in the hope that I would never make a mistake. But theories exists to be proven or disproven. But not like this. Never like this.

But I knew the theory now. I knew who the finger was pointed to. And maybe, maybe, now _had_ to be the time. Maybe we were in the end game and there was nothing we would do. 'Do it,' I said softly, only to Ryuzaki. 'Just… just tell him.' _And the others_.

Ryuzaki looked at me as if he thought I was mad. But as he looked, something softened and changed and I realised that he wanted to trust me. He _wanted_ to do what I asked, regardless of his morals or logic. Regardless of the outcome.

The weight sunk my whole body down, but it also seemed to lift me up. This was what I had wanted for a while now, but— Now, if this was a mistake, it would change everything we had. Or maybe… He trusted me, I trusted him. I grabbed his hand and I saw the boy's eyes getting big when he realised who he had to shoot to hurt L.

'He will tell you the theory if you drop your weapon,' I said as the boy pointed his gun at me, which resulted in everyone pointed their weapons at him. 'Drop your weapon and L will tell you what he thinks.'

Almost as if a machine given an order, the gun fell. No one felt particularly inclined to move their weapons, though, all still pointed at the accomplice who came here to kill L. 'Also,' I added. 'You will tell us exactly what your connection with Neo Kira is.'

The boy frowned. 'You are trapping me.'

'Perhaps we are,' I responded. 'But if you want to know, you will have to tell us anyway. Did Neo Kira command you to kill L? Was that your final task?'

'Take all the Death Notes, kill L. Then Zellogi would reveal his name and location.'

That was all he said. And it was clear he knew how to keep himself, his name, or any reverence to "me" or "I" out of it. Like he was not to blame. Like he wasn't involved.

'I take it Zellogi is a Shinigami,' Ryuzaki said, almost sounding bored. 'Well, I suppose that will do. You want me to pose a theory? It is quite simple really. There is only one person who could mimic Kira the way Neo Kira did. Only one person who could become like him, like an almost exact copy, and still think he can outsmart us, even when Light failed.'

Ryuzaki let go of my hand, stepped forward. And then he turned himself to the Task Force. 'Don't you agree, Mishima?'

* * *

 **XxX**

 **Is anyone surprised? I kind of feel like I made it too obvious Ryuzaki was suspecting him. Also, I really wanted to split it here, because Ryuzaki could still be completely wrong, of course and I like that sort of tension. Also, I think the past part of the movie is Arma, especially her design, but I kind of feel like my portrayal of her is lacking somewhat. Oh well, nothing to be done about it now…**

 **I don't know when I will be able to update, though I am done with moving, I am also on holiday right now, so we'll just have to see. Thank you for reading and until next time!**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **lunamoon531: oohhh, history and sociology! That's super fascinating! Even though I hated history in high school, I actually really like it now, so it was probably just my teacher who sucked. And thank you for liking the scene with Misa, I spend a lot of time on it! Also, the car scene went way further than I originally intended and ended up becoming way longer than it was supposed to be, but I must admit I quite like it, too ;D! Anyway, thank you for reading and have a lovely week/month (depending on when I update next… oops).**

 **sibunasiren10: Haha, I think stressing oneself out is a common thing these days. And as I said, thank** ** _god_** **the European Union decided against it, it's such a stupid law! I think it is because law enforcement is always years behind, like when they were trying to take away phones from teenagers. You can't reverse a massive cultural shift, you idiots. That's what I think, anyway. Thank you so much for liking the Misa-part, it was quite hard and took some time before I felt happy enough with it. And I think Near secretly feels kind of lonely. I mean Ryuzaki** ** _did_** **basically kick him out. Well deserved, but still. Thank you for reading and until next time!**

 **Fromashtree: yeah, I have a friend in Shanghai who suggested the same thing, thank you! Anyway, since Europe has decided against it, I won't have to worry about it (thank god). And I also think it's weird when people "do not allow" something to be written. It's really only a compliment and nothing else, right? It's not like someone pays us or something, we don't take money away from the original creators. Anyway, mini-rant over and thank you for your help and support!**

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 **XxX**


	16. Nakagami

**I always think I am addicted to the internet until I suddenly have no WiFi for a good three weeks and I actually realise I am moderately okay with it.**

 **So, the end is near, I am scared. And this is I think the toughest chapter of this story to write, since I kind of always had the movie (and the anime and the manga) to hold my hand throughout, but around the end it's always a point where the chances you make catch up to you. And I am now at that point and absolutely terrified that I will create five million plot holes because of it. May that be the case, then I apologize in advance. Let's roll!**

 ***I don't own Death Note or anything relating to its characters and/or storylines. I only own my original characters.**

* * *

 **XxX**

 **15\. Nakagami**

I think everyone was surprised. I was not. He had told me his theory before. And I understood perfectly. I did, but still…

 _'_ _You think Mishima is Neo Kira?'_

 _'_ _Well, I think he is a very likely suspect,' Ryuzaki clarified, his hand near his chin. 'If the Shinigami truly wanted a game, a new Kira, they would certainly look for someone who is ambitious, perhaps even obsessed with Kira. I read his application for the Task Force. It's easy to see how he made it. Even without all the classified information, he knew so much that it was almost scary. And after that, he seemed to have memorized every single bit of the classified information he could access. Too much, so detailed, that it would almost be easy to copy Light's methods.'_

 _Only then did he look at me, his eyes a different question than his mouth: 'Don't you agree?'_

'Hold on!' Kuromoto shouted in the forest, my eyes glued on Ryuzaki, 'Mishima can't be Neo Kira! He was at our side the whole time!'

'Well, then perhaps he has forgotten,' Ryuzaki stated. The man just watched this play out, his left hand on his right wrist. 'Maybe he gave up ownership of the Death Note.'

Mishima looked like someone hit him with a baseball bat. 'Eh?' The small sound was so full of confusion and denial that I felt for him. Even if he turned out to be Neo Kira.

'Well, wouldn't we all do the same, if an alley of L suddenly came over to your house?' L stated. 'From the day Olivia stayed over at your house, I have seen a small shift in personality. Rather than keeping clear of Olivia, you started pursuing her, almost as if the reason to keep her at a distance that vanished.'

That little bit of information, he hadn't told me. But it made sense. Before, Mishima was unkind to be, rude even and I responded accordingly. When I suddenly noticed that he was hardworking and kind of sweet, I thought I had just misunderstood him. But what if that wasn't it? What if it wasn't me who changed, but Mishima?

'How ridiculous!' Mishima managed to get out of his mouth, the words jangled and breathless.

'So you're Neo Kira?' the boy muttered.

It was only then that I saw it. The watch. Him fiddling with it. That was not something that should be trusted.

Without even thinking, I raised my gun and shot his wrist.

Whining, he dropped to the ground, grabbing his arm as if I had just amputated it. I looked away quickly, to Ryuzaki, who nodded, showing me I'd done the right thing, that he had noticed it, too.

It only took a moment for Ryuzaki to give a next command. 'Restrain him and bring me the briefcase.'

No one felt inclined to disagree. Kuromoto and Uragami left Nanase on the ground and even Watari stepped in to help. It seemed strange, how easy this seemed to be over, with so little sacrifice made. If he had given up ownership of the Death Notes in the suitcase, would that mean Arma could reclaim it? Or did the owner have to die? It still belonged to the human realm, after all.

When Ryuzaki had the briefcase, he tossed it over to Mishima, of all people, eyeing him closely. Mishima caught the briefcase with stiff motions, like a robot and he still looked more like a statue than a human being. 'Touch it,' Ryuzaki said, almost playfully, as if we were on the tennis field again, playing a game of wits with a familiar face and a familiar name.

Since when did blood and death become a familiar thing? Since when was the world so deadly?

Mishima dropped the briefcase like he'd burned himself. 'What?'

I shook my head, and pulled a glove out of the pocket of my jeans, the one Ryuzaki had given me in the car. I opened the case and saw more Death Notes than I'd ever thought I'd see together. All slightly different, all slightly the same. I tried to calm myself down, though I wasn't sure why I wasn't calm, my I couldn't seem to grasp my calm, and I took one of the Notes in my hand.

I hated the fact that this seemed familiar to me, too.

I stood, Mishima eyeing me with big, terrified eyes, and I raised my hand with the note. And I raised it some more, dangled it in front of his face. He didn't _look_ like Neo Kira right now, but all that could change in an instant. I had seen such a thing happen before. Even _that_ was a familiar sight to me.

I raised my arm a little bit more before dropping the note, it landing in Mishima's hand when he caught it automatically.

The entirely of the world suddenly seemed still.

* * *

XxX

Mishima held the note before he even realised what he was holding. Then he frowned and looked up. Olivia was staring back at him, her face a cold mask, her eyes cautious.

He was still there. Nothing had happened. Of course he wasn't Kira, how could he even doubt himself! This was just L, making a mistake. Even that happened. L couldn't always be right. 'Nothing happened!' he said, so breathless because he wanted to laugh.

But there was no one to reply.

Suddenly, there seemed to be no one at all.

The entire woods was empty. And then the trees, too, were gone. A small space built around him, a familiar space. Cracked white walls with a small window, a small desk and a bookcase full of Kira research. His computer was opened on a Kira page and his whiteboard was full of information.

A Kira fanboy. A Kira fanboy who happened to be part of the Police Force. Nothing more, nothing less.

A dark brown note with jagged letters across the front. He had never seen it before, but he grabbed it. Touched it. Stared at it. And then a Shinigami stared back. And the Shinigami whispered all the secrets in his ear.

Light Yagami. He knew the name, it was in one of his many folders, folded in between the others, as if he meant nothing. He should mean everything. Light Yagami killed felons and reduced crime, didn't he? Why should he be among the common folk? Wasn't he justice?

 _Wasn't he God?_

'Will you live as Light?' the Shinigami asked him. it seemed a foolish question. For how could he ever life as the God that came before him?

He would surpass him. One day, he _could_ surpass him. He was older, smarter, knew so much more. And he was already in the police force. He had everything. He had every single chess piece in the right place to win the game. He could stop wars, not just crimes.

'No,' he countered. 'I shall live as Kira. I only need… a cyberterrorist. Zellogi,' he said, addressing the Shinigami. 'Could you get your hands on another Death Note?'

The Shinigami grinned. 'What would you do with it?'

'A cyberterrorist. Find one, make a pact. Have him work for me, as a pawn with arms and feet. I need a pawn that can move without being caught.'

Zellogi disappeared. And went back to his realm for just a bit, just so he could find what he needed. Steal what he needed. From an innocent Shinigami that looked like a bird. And to brag to his friends, who then decided to go to the human realm to start games of their own.

Nakagami wrote names. Kira made the news. A new Task Force was installed. Nakagami was hired. And Ryo Nakagami became Tsukuru Mishima. A fake name for a real god. The world was becoming peaceful. L was joining the investigation. He met his ally. He stayed clear of the alley. Zellogi had found his pawn, his knight and nothing would go wrong. He could get to L through his alley. But to do that, Kira had to become Mishima. To do that, Mishima had to become Nakagami once more. A Death Note fanboy, nothing else. For he knew, even without memories, he could get close. And once he was close, his pawn would kill L. And Mishima would take L his place. In her heart, in the Task Force. In the world.

And then Kira and L would become one. One God to rule over all.

She called him first. Crying, in the rain. No one to turn to. Wasn't this the moment? Wasn't this the time to strike? 'Zellogi,' he said as he headed to his car. 'I think it's time to forfeit my ownership of the Death Note.'

* * *

XxX

At first, nothing seemed to change. I saw it, relief in his eyes, for a split second. But then he opened his mouth and… nothing came out.

His eyes shifted wildly while he began to tremble, slowly sinking to the ground, like all his strength was leaving him. And then, out of nowhere. He was screaming. Screaming for his life, for his past. For what he was seeing. The answer he was getting. Answer we might never even know.

His hands were in his hair, the Death Note in his lap. And behind him a saw a tall, grinning Shinigami with feathers in its hair. 'Nakagami,' it said, its teeth crackling as it spoke.

The only ones who could see Zellogi were me, Mishima and the boy. Mishima turned around ever so slowly. 'Zellogi,' he said, his voice a whisper.

'Long time no see,' Zellogi said, still grinning, but clearly not very amused. He must've wanted a more exciting game. Maybe he was regretting his choice of Kira. Or maybe he was just bored, which made me angry. How dare he make us suffer and then not even enjoy it? How could he be bored after the deaths he had caused?

With a numb feeling in my stomach, I raised my gun again, pointing it at Mishima's head, still on the floor. 'So you _are_ Neo Kira,' I said, the gun shaking in my hand.

I could do it. Kill him. I wasn't sure it would solve anyone's problem, and Arma and Ico both had been alarmingly quiet this entire time. What was this like for them? Even if it meant Arma's life, was this also just a game? Was that just Shinigami's nature?

'It _is_ you!' the boy scoffed. 'You are no God of mine!' he spat, angrily trying to free himself, but not having enough strength to pull free from the three people trying to keep him down. It almost looks like a wild dog trying to escape and once again I feel this soft feeling in my chest. Pity. Why was I always pitying people at a time like this?

Ryuzaki took a few steps toward me and I wasn't even sure what he was planning on doing, but halfway through, he suddenly stopped and frowned. 'Do you hear that?' he asked and then I did. The sound was so far away at first that I could place it, but then. Then it came close enough.

And I could hear it.

'Helicopters,' I said and then cursed under my breath. 'Is it the Chief?' I then asked, as if anyone could answer me.

Ryuzaki did feel inclined to give some sort of answer. 'I'd assume so, yes. Since we are technically illegally researching the Kira case.' He spoke calmly, but I saw the change of emotion behind his eyes, the slight panic hiding in the tips of his fingers.

Because he was L. Anonymity kept him alive.

He should not be caught by the police. If the government knew his identity…

I let my gun drop to the floor without even thinking, running and grabbing Ryuzaki as if my life depended on it. 'Screw this investigation! We need to get you out of here ASAP!'

I saw his eyes widen and then soften. 'Olivi—'

'Don't talk, come with me—'

I stopped when I heard more sounds. Agents running through the woods, the sounds of cars. They seemed to be everywhere, as if we were surrounded. As if this was the moment we would die. And then a voice spoke. Different from before. More different than I'd ever heard him: 'Well, I never expected my bad habits would come in handy today.'

Mishima stood, my gun in his hands, and he was folding his sleeves up like he had work to do. 'Who knew that reporting that the Task Force was secretly continuing would work to my advantage in the end?'

And only then I got what he was saying. Even before he touched the note, even when he wasn't Neo Kira, he had still betrayed all of us. 'You bastard!' I spat immaturely, after which I looked up at Arma and Ico. 'Get us out of here!'

Arma did not look convinced. 'But my note—'

'Please, Arma! I beg of you!' I looked at her with desperation, one I had not shown her before. Because how could I let Ryuzaki be caught? How could I lose him like this? Even if he wouldn't be killed, it would put L and everything he was in danger. How could I? I had to protect him.

To my surprise, conflict flickered in Arma her eyes as she was trying to think of something, something, anything. And I saw she didn't find it. Her shoulder sagged and she glanced at Mishima, at the boy, and then said: 'Ico, find a way out.'

'But Arma—'

'After Allison hands me the remaining Death Notes,' Arma continued, as if that was the way it was.

Ico still seemed confused. 'But they belong to the human realm still. You would have to—'

'I am aware I cannot claim ownership, nor lengthen my lifespan, but I can still write in it,' Arma said as I hastily tried to close the suitcase as Mishima and the other were watching me, scared and confused. I couldn't protect everyone. But maybe their sentence wouldn't be bad. If Ryuzaki, Watari and I managed to escape, they could put all the blame on us.

I threw the suitcase in the air and everyone saw how it was caught. 'Watari!' I said, my voice loud and commanding. He came immediately and Ico started to point to a the left of the building, leading the way.

As I started pulling Ryuzaki, I saw him looking at me with slightly surprised eyes, and clearly a little bit impressed.

'Olivia!' shouted Kuromoto, a clear shout through the noise.

'Don't follow!' I shouted back. 'The police won't hurt you! Tell them all you know! Blame me!'

That was all I managed to get out. And I knew even then that it was a mistake. A sea full of police officers, but only two Task Force members, and two Kira's. Even if most of the Death Notes were in Arma's hands now, that seemed like a dangerous gamble.

 _Ico could get them to safety,_ I told myself. _You could go back. You don't have more to lose than the others._

I halted in my tracks. 'Ico,' I ordered and she turned around, clearly very confused by everything. 'Let Ryuzaki touch your Death Note.'

Of course Ryuzaki already figured it out. 'Don't, Allison, please—'

'I wish I could've married you,' I said, no tears, no sadness. Only determination. 'I wish I could've and if we ever meet again, I still want to. But for now, you need to go. Hide. _Live._ I will come to find you.'

I kissed him once, quick, and darted back, his shouts already silenced and his tears already dried. I knew Ico would do what I asked her, I trusted her that much. She could lead them out of there. And even if I ended up in prison, I would find him. I would find him and love him and keep him by my side. I would make sure this never happens again.

Even if I had to die for it.

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I know it's not realistic to have everyone be so quiet during the last part, but I didn't want to make the situation any more confusing than it already was, so that's way I let Uragami and Kuromoto shut up for most of this chapter. More like they were watching it happen instead of engaging in the situation.**

 **School starts again next week, so I don't know when I'll be updating again, it really depends on something which is kind of hard to explain, but here's the thing: there's a 50% chance I will be very busy, but also a 50% chance I will not have anything to do. Also, I am sorry this chapter was short and if it was a bit loopy I am currently a bit sick and I wrote it with long pauses in between, so I felt like this chapter especially is not that strong. Sorry you had to wait so long for a mediocre chapter, but I hope to make it up to you guys soon. Bye-bye!**

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 **XxX**

 **JustaTurtleDuck: Thank you very much!**

* * *

 **lunamoon531: What's with history teachers being either really great or just a mess? Thank you again for reading and have a great week/month/ whenever I update!**

* * *

 **sibunasiren10: About Mishima being obvious… yeah, he really is. The only reason I let it slide was because it was really freaking obvious in the movie, too. L: Change the World is actually a different movie (a better one, actually…) and I never used it because things changed so drastically because of Olivia that it was almost impossible? So you can totally watch L:Change the World, it's adorable and kind of strange but also great in a strange sort of way. The movie this is based on is Death Note: Light up the New World. And boy, let me tell ya. There's some strange decisions that were made. Anyway, sorry for the insanely long reply, have a great day and thank you so much for reading!**

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 **XxX**


	17. My Heart is Someone Else's

**I have been gone for over a month. A lot has happened. This had to do both with this story and not with this story. First off, a friend of mine got ill and was in the hospital for a while, school started again and pulled no punches. But also, I realised how unnecessary the sequel actually was. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed writing this story** ** _a lot_** **, and I am happy to hear others are enjoying it, but I felt like it was an unnecessary addition to my previous story. I just missed these characters and there were some things I still wanted to explore, without really thinking whether it was actually necessary or not. So I will probably remove this story a few months after finishing it. I will give everyone a warning beforehand, because I think you can save a story or something? I am actually not sure, but I will give a heads up if that is actually going to happen. For now, I am just going to write!**

 ***I don't own Death Note or anything relating to its characters and/or storylines. I only own my original characters.**

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 **XxX**

 **16\. My Heart is Someone Else's**

I saw the boy before I saw anyone else.

I wasn't sure how he'd gotten away, or what he was planning on doing, but he held a gun in his hands. And pointed it at me as soon as he saw me. 'I thought you left.'

I wasn't sure what to respond to that. I lifted my hands and listened. The noises seemed to primarily come from one spot now, the idiots. It would only take a matter of minutes, though, before they would start searching the entire area thoroughly.

'Calm down,' I said softly, hands still in the air. 'What is your name?'

He seemed confused. Of course he did. He had never learned common distraction tactics during his education, nor had he learned how to deal with me. 'What does it matter to you? You're going to be dead either way.'

Yeah well, so was everybody. 'True, true,' I admitted. 'So does it really matter whether you tell me your name or not? I am just curious, is all.'

He seemed _really_ confused. _Really_ … out of it. Like a boy who had blown up his own house and then stood in the garden, looking at his completely trashed house, wondering why he'd done it in the first place.

He looked like someone who had lost his way. The wound on his wrist, my fault, I could've shot his entire hand off, was bleeding, dripping into the dirt. He didn't even seem to notice.

'Won't you tell me your name?' I repeated once more, trying to piece together what I was seeing and how I could use that. Arma was nowhere to be seen. I hoped she had her note. I hoped I wouldn't have to kill this boy, or see this boy being killed. He didn't seem completely out of reach. He seemed like someone who could be put back on the right track, if given the proper attention and effort.

That was only proven when he finally opened his mouth again. 'Yuki,' he managed to get out. He'd clearly meant to spit it out, but it sounded more like an angry teen cursing than harsh or threatening.

'Yuki,' I repeated, not sure what I was expecting. Why that somehow exceeded my expectations. And then I slipped. Maybe it was panic. Maybe it was lack of sleep. Maybe him telling me his name unravelled something inside of me, but I slipped.

For the first time in months, I slipped.

And then I saw it. Floating above his head, numbers and letters and things I did not want to know, thing I didn't want to _see_. But I couldn't help but look. He hadn't lied about his name. _Yuki Shien_. The letters so clearly above his head, engulfed in red energy that I had always seen as the colour of death.

And then I looked at the number.

Ico had once tried to explain to me how the numbers worked. It wasn't based on earthly times, but it deed seem to tick pretty regularly. She told me the numbers could change based on circumstances, that they were based on the most likely events. But that you had to be a very, very lucky bastard if your lifespan was ever lengthened.

I didn't know how to calculate the number back to real time. But I didn't have to. Even I could see that his time was all but up. There were only two numbers left and one of them was moving down in a fast pace, slowly taking the other with hem as well.

And then I frowned. While Yuki Shien just stared back at me, clearly just as confused. He was looking around and I could see he was planning on running away. But I didn't get it, because his number was moving so _fast_. And at this moment I had no intention of killing him. I didn't think I _could_ , even if I had wanted to. He just did not seem like someone who deserved it. Even after everything he had done.

And then he started running. Not away from the building, like I'd expected, but towards it. Passed me. I didn't even have time to think, let alone stop him, before a bulled hit him in the back. I think I might have shouted, but I do not think I made a sound. I don't think I even moved an inch.

Another shot. Another one. And another. As Mishima slowly stepped towards me, with a gun in his hand. He looked… like Mishima. Not so different that I couldn't see him anymore, like with Light. He wasn't the idiot Mishima, the shy Mishima, but he still looked like the Mishima who knew stuff and did his best. The Mishima who criticized me, but also picked me up when he knew I needed it.

'Where are the others?' I asked, slowly backed away as he re-aimed the gun, this time pointing at me.

'Indisposed. You should thank your Shingami friend for that one.' He said it casually. 'I did not expect she would write the Chief's name down to halt this entire thing, but I cannot say it was a stupid plan.' He seemed to shift a bit and I looked at his other hand. He held a small piece of paper in that hand. I knew what that was without asking.

'Why are you threatening to shoot me if you can just write my name down?' I asked, my voice bitter and angry.

He blinked, just once, and slowly lowered the gun, just a little bit. And I realised he hadn't even considered ending me with the tool he had been given. As if I didn't deserve it. No, that wasn't it. No. I realised, only then, what made Light Kira and Mishima Neo Kira. He really had only planned on killing criminals.

Light had always seemed in control. This was a man desperate to _be_ in control.

Since Arma had used the Death Note to control the Chief, I had no way of knowing how long that distraction was going to be. I didn't think the two remaining Task Force members could put two and two together, sorry, but it was the truth, but that didn't mean there wasn't a ticking clock.

There was one thing I did know now, though. Something that I wish I didn't, but I couldn't seem to slip back out. Mishima's name was Ryo Nakagami. And his lifespan was nowhere near being finished. 'Come on, Mishima, this will get you nowhere. Just… just drop the weapon, please. I am not your enemy.'

'Neither am I yours,' he responded. Then said: 'If you come with me.'

I wasn't quite sure I followed any of that. 'Excuse me?'

He seemed almost shy as he continued. Shy, but not humble. He meant what he said when he spoke: 'You can come with me. Be my hostage. And then, maybe after a long, long while. Be more than just my hostage. Be my accomplice maybe. Or… something more meaningful.'

I would be an idiot if I did not exactly understand what he meant by "something more meaningful". I felt the strange urge to vomit. 'You are insane.'

'Probably,' he admitted with a slight frown. 'But even if you would come with me just to spare everyone else… I would take it. Even if you were to be my hostage the rest of our lives… I will leave here. Perhaps consider sparing everyone. Perhaps even considering ending my destiny.'

'You have already lost!' I desperately tried to explain. 'We _know_ who you are now, Arma has the Death Notes and no one will ever, _ever,_ let you get away with it. L will—'

'Come after me?' he finished. 'Even if I have you as my hostage? Are you sure about that?'

'He will feel even more inclined to bring you down,' I responded and only as I said that out loud did I realise those words were true. Because now I believed it. That I was worth something, even if I wasn't useful or kind. I was worth something because… he loved me. Cared for me. Just as I loved and cared for him.

'So… suppose that we were to… disappear,' Mishima said, pausing often, like he was thinking of the plan as he was saying it. 'On the run. The two of us. I won't be Kira and you won't be L's little pet.'

Was he seriously not getting is. 'Are you delusional? What makes you think like I'd _want_ any of that? Even if I were to go with you right now, I would still be searching for a way to bring you to justice!'

Mishima really was not getting it. 'Why? Because of your dear L?'

'No! Because you are _wrong_. This is _wrong_!' I pointed all around us. 'Fuck the police and fuck the government, just from a _human_ standpoint, it's wrong! Is that so hard to understand? Why can't you understand?!'

'Because _you_ don't understand!' Mishima shot back. 'Crime was dropping. _Everything_ was getting better. Am I a murderer? Yes, I will not deny that. But I will gladly play a monster if that keeps others _human_. If that keeps other _alive_. I am _not_ Kira. But I am more than willing to be him if it means crime will cease to exist. Forever.'

Which was something that I did already sort of understand. But this did not seem like the moment to point that out. Instead, I sighed. 'I am not coming with you Mishima.'

He raised the gun again, pointing it at me with clearly no intention, no heart, to shoot me. Killing people with a notebook felt less… murder-y. Less direct. Shooting someone was something else, _no,_ it just felt like something else. At the end of the day, both methods were murder. 'Then you should die.'

'Allison?' I heard Arma shout, from above me. She looked terrified to see me. 'I thought you left!'

I frowned, opened my mouth. And then… realised Mishima was looking at her, too. _Seeing_ her. And… 'Mishima,' I said slowly, not even considering ever using his real name. 'How did you know what Arma did to the chief?'

Arma seemed to freeze, looking down. 'Excuse me?'

The eyes seemed darker, rounder. Stranger. He seemed otherworldly, almost. I took a step back. 'You are not Mishima, are you?'

'No, he is,' Arma said. 'I saw him running, but I was too busy getting the situation under control, I had been planning on…'

'Killing me, regaining the notebook, yada yada,' Mishima said, his gun still pointed to me. 'You don't mind me saying I have been able to see dear sweet Arma from the very start, do you? I mean, considering the Death Note I received was hers.'

My eyes widened. If the Death Note he received was hers and Arma's note was… 'The first note to be given to a human, this time,' Mishima confirmed. 'It's like art thieves trying to get rid of the stolen painting as quickly as possible. You don't want stolen goods in your possession for too long.'

'But you're not the owner _now,_ ' I argued, 'you have up the ownership.' But then he touched another Death Note.

And now we had no way of knowing which was which. And we didn't know who the owner was of the Death Note that once belonged to Arma. I didn't know the rules, but since Ico told Arma only a while ago that the Death Notes still belonged to the human realm… it really meant that giving up ownership wasn't enough. It meant that there had to be an owner, an owner who _died_ , thus carrying it back to the Land of the Dead.

Frowning, I looked up at Arma. 'Could you recognise it? Your own note?'

Arma seemed confused, like she didn't understand the question. 'Every note returns to the male form once owner switches. Only the ones who have magically altered their Death Notes have a different looking Death Note. And I… I never did any of that.'

But she was still here. And I noticed, as I thought about what to do next… that I wasn't so worried about her. I mean, she herself didn't seem worried. It was like she had more than enough time left.

Mishima stayed silent, gun pointed at me, eyes to Arma, as Arma studied my face. And I knew she could see my thoughts, like she was looking right through me. 'You are my friend, are you not?' she asked, after which she disappeared.

And with her disappearance, the case holding the Death Notes stumbled to the ground.

Unsure on what she meant, I looked at it. Mishima looked at it. But I could not make a run for it with a gun pointed at my face. Not if I thought Mishima would actually shoot me. Which I didn't.

So I took a step forward. 'You are not going to shoot me, are you, Mishima?' I said and I almost sounded like I was speaking to a child, or maybe even a dog. 'You will not shoot me.' The only reason I said it was because I believed it.

'Don't take another step,' he said, still pointing the gun at me. 'I will be forced to shoot you if you do.'

But I still didn't believe him. 'I don't believe you,' I admitted, and took another step.

He didn't shoot. But he did take a step. Towards me. 'Why?' he asked. 'Why won't you believe it? I have killed people before. I have shot people before.'

'But you haven't shot someone you cared about,' I shot back. 'Not really. So, no, I don't believe you will shoot me.'

'Your loss,' he said as he took another step towards me.

I was close to the Death Notes now, I could make a quick run for it. But, somewhere, deep inside, fear was swelling as my stonehard confidence was wavering. What if he _could_ shoot me? What if he _did_?

Then I saw him. Kuromoto, in the trees behind Mishima. Looking alarmed from me, to the case, to Mishima. He braced himself, clearly intending on doing something stupid, so I shook my head, just a little, as another plan began forming in my head. An insane plan. But Mishima seemed pretty insane at the moment, so maybe that was the kind of plan that was needed right now.

Mishima seemed to notice _something_ was going on behind him, but I raised my hands quickly, in an attempt to bring his attention back to me. 'Okay, okay, I won't move. But please… explain to me what your _plan_ is right now. Are you truly willing to give up your ambitions are Neo Kira?'

'I _can_ do it. If you come with me. If you give yourself to me,' he said.

'Myself?' I said, stepping closer to Mishima, away from the briefcase, trying to subtly nod towards it so that Kuromoto would notice it lying on the ground. 'Or my heart?'

I took another step. Mishima did not seem to plan on moving anytime soon. 'Because I can give myself. Be your hostage. Your prisoner. But I cannot give you my heart. It's someone else's.' I reached him without much problems, softy taking the hand with the gun. And he was not stopping me. 'But I can be your captor, if you want me to be.' I glanced towards Kuromoto. I held Mishima's wrist in my hands now, and he had to reaim if he was going to shoot me. Which he didn't do. At least my nearness has _some_ sort of effect.

Kuromoto lunched himself towards the briefcase, Mishima noticing him, trying to aim—

I grabbed his shirt with one hand, still holding the gunhand with my other, and pulled him into me, kissing his angry, insane mouth.

I had seen enough movies and read enough books to notice it when it worked. It didn't seem like it did. He knew exactly what was going on and I could feel his gunhand still trying to break free from my grasp…

With one hand still struggling, the other grabbed my hair as he forced my mouth open, kissing me hungrily, because he knew this was the only thing he could get. He was aggressive and selfish and didn't make it good for me, which was obviously intentional. In my head I tried to replay all the movies I had seen with a scene like this, where the heroine was always reunited with the right person, in the right ending. It would only be a matter of scenes, movie minutes, before I was back there…

BANG!

I stumbled back as I felt this red point of pain in my food, a throbbing, hot point that slowly started to dye my white shoe red.

I stumbled even more and fell, only a bit away from Kuromoto, holding the briefcase and pointing his weapon at Mishima. 'Tell me to shoot and I will shoot,' he told me, not even looking at me or my wound.

Mishima wiped his mouth. 'Did you know that when you kiss someone, that person's spit stays in your mouth for at least two weeks?' A short chuckle. 'I suppose that would mean I have L's spit in my mouth right now.'

It was a disgusting thing to say. And it grossed me out to no end. I wouldn't be able to kiss Ryuzaki for a while, knowing this.

'Actually, it's three weeks.'

With a gun in his hand and A treading behind him, Near came walking towards us, as if there weren't hundreds of police men waiting a few feet away.

'Near, what—'

'Chief Sugawara is dead,' Near told me. 'The police are currently being informed of the situation by my team. We'll call all of this a… misunderstanding.'

'Why?' I asked. _Why was I so useless?_ I didn't want to say that part out loud. 'Why come back even if that was the case? Why escape the car?'

'Because I didn't trust him,' he said, nodding to Mishima. 'And I didn't trust your judgement. And I was absolutely right,' he added, a bit bitterly.

Mishima aimed his gun at Near now, clearly not even paying attention. 'What makes you think I won't shoot you? Even if you are just a kid, I could—'

A loud BANG as Near shot him in his right leg. Mishima stumbled to his knees as Near said: 'That was for shooting my friend.' He walked a bit closer aiming at the head even though Mishima was pointing. Pointing, but still not firing. 'And this is for justice's sake.'

'Stop, Near!' I said. 'You can't kill him!'

'Well, he killed hundreds, no one ever stopped him,' Near argued. 'And I don't feel the need to listen to the current justice system, anyway. A psychopath like this must be—'

'Killed? Just like how he killed hundreds of psychopaths? This isn't the way, Near! Don't do it!'

Near looked at me, raising his eyebrows before making a slight move with his hands. A raised her gun and stepped passed him, handcuffing Mishima even though he looked sad nor defeated. He looked like someone did just shoot him in the leg, which was accurate.

But I couldn't help but be confused. I looked at Near as he looked down at me, on the ground, foot bleeding and hurting, but almost no room left in my brain to process that. 'I don't question your judgement,' Near said, liking his lower lip, 'yet you keep question mine.'

Realisation hit me with more throbbing foot pain. 'You never actually planned on killing him.'

Near smiled the smile I hadn't seen in such a long time, a smile that reminded me of the orphanage, of playthings, of happy times and childhood innocence. 'Let's just say that is true,' he admitted as A looked thoroughly uncomfortable with the man on the ground she had nog cuffed.

'So, was that it?' she asked, sounding kind of disappointed.

I had been shot, people had died and I wasn't even sure where Ryuzaki and Watari had run off too. 'You sound like you want to keep going,' I responded, a little breathless, 'but I am so, _so_ done.'

But nothing is done just because you say so. And in wanting everything to be over, I left endings open and Shinigami unhelped. Perhaps that would be my lethal mistake. I disregarded a Goddess of Death as a threat, despite all the signs telling me not to.

Perhaps Near was not the one whose judgement should be in question. Perhaps it was my judgement that wasn't entirely sound.

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 **XxX**

 **Damn I feel like this chapter was baaaddd. I hate it when I have to write a lot of dialogue while not really knowing how to word said dialogue in a way that makes sense… Also, setting up Arma getting angry was hard because she is not someone who would get like, screaming angry. So everything was working against me, I am tired, I hope this chapter didn't totally suck, goodnight!**

 **So… next chapter will probably be the last, so I will post update on what's going to happen with this story then. For now, thank you guys for reading, I am sorry for the typos and messy plotlines/holes if there are any. Have a lovely week!**

 **XxX**

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 **sibunasiren10: Whelp, maybe my writing is just more on the nose than I realised? I just always thought he was Kira because he was the only developed undeveloped character, you know what I mean? Like, the viewer** ** _knows_** **him, but now really. So he always seemed like the obvious baddy to me.**

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 **Lunamoon531: tension is actually something I have always have problems with (just ask my teachers, I am not great at writing tension) so someone saying that I built up tension well made me feel more emotional than it should make me feel. I hope school is going well, have a lovely week!**

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 **intomiddle3arth: thank you so much! (and for your PS: No, no, she is not. Because she and Ryuzaki are clever enough when it comes to crime, but idiots when it comes to anything else. *wink*)**

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 **XxX**


	18. All the Death Notes in the world

**So I have been gone for a long time. I wish I had like a really good reason, but the only reason I have is that I just couldn't because of school. My study is literally screenwriting, which means writing series, short film, full length movies. Basically I am just always writing. Which makes writing in my free time feel… strange or something. Like, if I have a deadline for six scripts, am I really going to waste my writing energy for my other stories? No, I don't. So I didn't write anything outside of school stuff for two months. Now most of my deadlines have been met, though I am nowhere near finished, especially since I have just been refusing to do a certain assignment, so that professor's definitely going to kill me. But I digress.**

 **Also, funny story; I don't know how Shinigami work. I mean, we got all the rules to the Death Note, but the writers never bothered to explain all thing Shinigami. So if I make a mistake on Shinigami-territory, please don't be mad. My research skills only help me so far and sometimes you just gotta fill the gaps. And sometimes, you just gotta throw all rules out of the window because this is a free country and you can do whatever the hell you want.**

 **Anyway. This is Death note, not the complain-zone, so let's get this chapter started!**

 ***I don't own Death Note or anything relating to its characters and/or storylines. I only own my original characters and original storylines.**

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 **XxX**

 **17\. All the Death Notes in the world**

There was a very easy test to determine which of the Death Notes belonged to Arma. She just had to give all the notes to a human who could not see her and determine which note the human had to touch before he _could_.

It was easy, harmless. Right until the moment this human had to write his own name down so that Arma could regain her note.

She could feel it in her old, weathered, dusty bones. She was slipping, dying. Not like Shinigami who broke the law, or Shinigami that lengthened a human's lifespan. She wasn't turning into dust. She was _dying_. Dying was much slower, much more traitorous, much more painful. Much more hateful.

Frankly, she had wanted Allison to do it, but since she could see her, there was not much to go on there. She wished another Shinigami could pay for this, but that also did not seem like an option. She could literally pick anyone but the people she actually wanted to do it to.

The Mishima-guy, Neo Kira, was send away in an FBI van. Arma wasn't interested enough to pay attention, but she assumed L had a hand in that. L, who had disappeared and not yet returned. Perhaps would never return. Arma knew too little about the human heart to guess its future decisions and choices.

Allison had been taken by one of the dark blue vans, too, but she seemed to get a moderately fairer treatment. They seemed to be taking care of her leg well, not that she really noticed. She was too focused on the little Near-boy and A-girl. She was too focused on the lover she lost, even if she believed it was only temporary. She also seemed to be troubled by her Shinigami eyes, blinking in and out of the red vision that showed her names and numbers she'd rather not see.

Arma wondered what that was like, caring so much that you would rather not know, that you would be _better_ off not knowing.

She wondered what it would be like to have control of all the Death Notes the way the Shinigami King did. To reign over Death like the ultimate master. It seemed horrid, in her eyes. If she could survive without writing even one name down, she would be content.

She picked a young boy. Nineteen, maybe twenty. He looked innocent, but she wasn't a judge. She wasn't a divine force righting wrongs with the ones she killed. Shinigami weren't made to do such things. The allowed him to choose his own death. He did not seem thankful.

Arma felt no comfort in regaining her Death Note. Nor did she feel thankful towards the people who claimed to have helped her. Instead, she took all the Notes and hid them inside the world. Maybe someone would find them one day. Maybe a new Kira would rise. Once, not too long ago, she might have been against it, but humans… Humans were a mess. And it did not matter much to her anymore.

She didn't want to go home. But she didn't want to stay either. Maybe she should've let things be and died. A pile of ash amongst the bones of horrid creatures.

To lengthen her lifespan once more, she wrote down hundreds and hundreds of names. Before leaving, she wrote down one more. And then she vanished.

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XxX

I think people thought I was in some state of permanent shock.

I was hospitalised, taken by the FBI, hospitalised by the FBI. For a while, I thought L had a hand in it, but it didn't seem likely.

It was then that they told me around the world people were dying of heart attacks. It was when that they told me they were monitoring everyone who was ever a Task Force member. All but one, for L could not be found. I hoped he and Watari got away safely. I hoped that at least that much was done.

I asked more questions, but they weren't really answered. Confusion and miscommunication had made all of us a suspect. I took no joy in being one, nor in being locked up, but it was better that they acted strict and kept people save than making mistakes.

The people that were dying were random. Maybe it was just some Shinigami's, maybe not. Ico was gone, too, but she did tell me she was leaving before she went. The Shinigami King had called on her. I was wondering if he would be angry at her, since she had no Death Notes to give back to him. What Arma had done with them and where they were now, were mysteries for another time.

My phone had been taken. No surprise, really, but it would have helped to fight against the boredom. I started singing songs while walking through the room they had given me. A room with a separate, small bathroom met a bath and a gigantic mirror, reminding me how much I did not like looking at myself. The light was off and green and I realised after a few days that the windows I had were false, projecting fake images of a day and night sky.

I once asked the person who brought me food for the remote control for the window. He didn't seem to like the joke.

But I did start singing. In the bath, on the bed, on the table. Standing and sitting and laying. I sang every song that I knew, every lyric that I had forgotten, while doing strange yoga posses and push ups. Maybe that's why they seemed to believe I had gotten mad. Boredom will do that to you.

It was hard counting the days when the sun outside your window wasn't real, but I think I had been locked up for ten days when they let me out. Only ten days. But it felt longer, lasting, the world more changed than it normally would in ten days.

I had expected no one to pick me up. Perhaps Watari. I was surprised when it was A. A, who had been taken in as well. But she and Near were there, on the other side of the gate, and I came out. "I don't understand," I admitted as they took me to their car and started driving as if nothing happened.

"Mishima," A said, "he had woven a story, made every single member of the Task Force an accomplice. It took L days to solve the case, especially from a distance."

 _A distance_. "Where is he now and… where are _we_ now?"

"America!" sang A loudly, "and where L is? No idea. That is a mystery, as always. He is kind of like _Where is Wally_ in that way."

"Oh yeah," Near responded cynically, "especially the glasses and the hat, it's truly uncanny."

"Ass," was A's reply.

"I'm sorry," I said, "but I'm confused. If you follow no orders from L, how did you know to pick me up?"

From behind the stirring wheel, A rolled her eyes. "Sweetheart, we are hackers, liars, detectives and geniuses. I really don't understand why you have problem grasping the concept."

"I am not going through the trouble of missing L again," I complained, "or looking for him."

"Then don't, "A replied with a shrug. "Maybe he'll find you for a change."

* * *

XxX

I went with Near and A despite better judgement. They had already gone back to work, their own headquarters nothing more than a cellar in a basement of a house they bought outside of Tokyo. The basement wasn't much, the _house_ wasn't much, but it had a more homely feeling than any other L-related institution I had been to, even the orphanage.

I hoped that, as long as I was with them, my past friendship with Near could be restored. Once I had figured out how much had changed since we were… friends. We had been friends once. Not by his choice, I'd imagine, but we had been. That had to count for something, otherwise, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

He was sitting in the basement. I was used to him puzzling, or playing, but he was reading through files and making phone calls. He seemed to have aged more than time itself had. I was starting the wonder whose fault that was. "Are you busy?" I asked.

"I'm working," he responded.

"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?" I shot back.

A shrug. He started twirling a strand of hair around his finger.

I smiled. "You still do that with your hair." I found that fact surprisingly soothing.

He stopped abruptly. "What did you want?"

"To… talk," I said, since I had really not much else to offer. Spending time with Ryuzaki didn't exactly advance your social skills. It was actually, usually, a really big step backwards, since you had to be social with him in a different sort of way, a different sort of thinking. Maybe that counted for Near, too, but I had lost the grasp to how I used to be social with him. I assumed I was just myself, but I remember wanting to be close to him on purpose, though I couldn't recall the reason why.

He turned. There were chairs down here, but he was sitting on the ground. I suppose that wasn't so surprising. Old habits die hard. "About…?" He sounded scared, almost.

I crossed my arms. "You seem to have some sort of problem with me for a while now. Care to tell me what the problem is?"

He turned away again, clearly still not a fan of eye-contact. "Problem? I don't think I am the one with the problem. I understand there were things that I did that did not align with your morals, but… there are things _you_ do that don't agree with mine. I wasn't pry, I am aware, but to just… send me away seems a childish decisions."

"What? You were hurt by that?" I asked jokingly. Then frowned as I noticed he was not denying my statement. "Wait. Really?"

Near shook his head sharply. "No. Why should I? The world is blowing up with Death Notes, what I do is not deemed good enough, but clearly you have time to mess around with the one detective you _do_ agree with. How quaint."

A short laugh escaped my throat before I could try to keep it in. "What? Are you saying you think me irresponsible now?"

"Perhaps," he agreed.

I wasn't sure what to tell him. I could barely remember the original reason I had been mad at him in the first place. The only thing now making me angry was his… angsty behaviour. "You're the one that risked the lives of the Task Force, Near. That was not me, nor Ryuzaki. _Your_ doing. We are not playing pretend. We are not playing chess. These are human lives. That was the only reason I was upset."

"You think I don't know that?" Near asked. "You think _L_ doesn't know that? You have to play the game to win the game, Olivia. You should have learned that by now. Or not. I guess you have accepted being L's sidekick more readily than I'd expected. I guess you do not mind staying in the shadows."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Near."

"You aren't doing anything," he said, "you're just moving along. That's not how any of this works. This if not a task to be handled, this is a battlefield. Call it chess, I don't care, because treating this like chess is exactly how one would win."

Somewhere, from inside of me, I felt that there was some truth to what he was saying. "Because you won't care about sacrificing a few pawns?"

Near was shaking his head now, almost violently. "I am not going into this with you. This is not a discussion we need to have. I am just saying, you cannot change the game, since the game we play is the sort of game we need to win."

"And what if it's not a game, Near?" I asked. "What if none of this is?"

"Then I have no rules to hold onto," he admitting, his head hanging low. "And I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

And suddenly, I got it. Suddenly, I saw the young bow from the orphanage playing on the ground. With toys and puzzles. Things with rules and systems. Ways to lose and ways to succeed. If you held onto such a way of thinking and found situations where that didn't apply, wouldn't you go mad? "I am not mad at you, Near," I said, "I was upset. I can be upset, sometimes. And frankly, you were being an asshole. But that's okay. After all, there are no winners in such games."

A long, long silence rang between us. One that lasted so long that I was suspecting him to never chase it away. But when he did, he sounded breathless. "Thank you," was what he said.

I felt myself smiling wryly. "You're welcome."

* * *

XxX

"So like, you and L are a thing and stuff, but does his strange posture like, _work_ in the bedroom?"

Frowning, I pushed A aside so that I could walk out of the basement door. "I really don't think this is a conversation we need to be having."

"Ah, but I want to know!"

We stopped when my phone rang. My phone hadn't rang. Ever. Not since I had gotten it back, anyway. And there were few people who had my number.

A was staring at me as I pulled the phone from my pocket. "Just a guess," she said, "that that's not a Shinigami calling you from beyond?"

"Definitely not," I said as I looked at the screen. Of course it was an anonymous caller. I answered. "Yes?" I said as A was practically hanging on my arm.

A relieved sigh that I instantly recognised. "You're alright," Watari said. "You are—She's alright!" he shouted to someone further away.

And I would be stupid not to who. "Is Ryuzaki there?"

"He—Yes, one moment." With a few cracks, the other side of the line was silent. I waited, and by that I meant I was currently actively trying to protect my phone from A's prying hands. I had already realised she got bored way more easily than you'd think.

"Allison," he said, his voice strangely husky. It came so suddenly, I jumped. "What happened?"

"What? With me? Uhm," that was such a good question. One had no one had bothered asking me yet. "Are you going to be mad at me if I say that I have absolutely no idea what happened Everything was kind of… strange. I mean, strange things are happening."

"Does Ico not know what happened either?" he asked, clearly not angry, but not calm either. There was on urgency to the questions he was asking.

"Hm, I don't know. I haven't seen her since the FBI took me in custody."

"The FBI took you in—Give me a moment, please," Ryuzaki stepped away from the phone. Only a few seconds later, Watari came back on. "I am so pleased to hear you are doing well," he said, "are you staying in a hotel right now?"

"No, I am with Near and A."

Silence once again. It seemed like I was giving all the wrong answers today. "I mean," I quickly added, "I had nowhere else to go. They helped. But… what's going on, what's the urgent situation?"

"People are dying," Watari said. "Randomly. All over the world. All heart attacks. Everyone keeps calling us, but there's no reason to believe it is any sort of Kira. Still—"

"It's definitely a Death Note." And as far as I knew, either Ico or Arma had all the Death Notes. Which meant that even if they went to look, they would find nothing. "How long as this been happening?"

"Since the day we left. Every day since then," Watari said. "It's not so many people that it cannot be easily put away from the radar, but it's enough that certain people are worried. _We_ are worried. Kira is one think, a complete random murderer something else."

"How does he get the names?" I asked, frowning. A was frowning, too, probably hearing everything Watari was saying.

"Social media perhaps?"

I shook my head. "No." He tried to think. "The Death Notes were with the Shinigami if I remember correctly. It makes no sense for the notes to have fallen back into human hands."

"Not all monsters are human," Watari told me and I could tell that was something he had discussed before, with Ryuzaki. It probably was a thing Ryuzaki had said himself.

"Yeah, that's true, but why would—"

"Here's Ryuzaki back," Watari interrupted before handing the phone back to his boss.

"Can we meet?" he asked. "Soon. I want to meet soon. We need to find a way to contact Ico, or to know where she is."

"How? It's not like I have a hall pass for the Shinigami realm."

"You don't," Ryuzaki said, "but I might know someone who does."

* * *

 **XxX**

 **I AM SORRY! Another cliff-hanger. And I don't know if I'll be able to update any time soon. Once again, so sorry about that, I am trying to be better, it's just a lot of writing I suddenly had to do. I also really want to respond to reviews and such, but there's still some reading I need to do for school and I don't want to end up not publishing this chapter today, so I will answer at a later time, perhaps next chapter?**

 **I love you all, thank you for being patient and have a lovely Sunday! (or what's left of it, anyway…)**

* * *

 **XxX**


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